


Trying to remember what it feels like to have a heartbeat

by marylambb



Category: Mewgulf, Thai Actor RPF, TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Action, Angst, Comfort, Communication, Completed, Fluff, It's Finally Done, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Suspense, ghost gulf, kissing and more kissing (finally) towards the end, my first chaptered fic!, photographer mew, steamy scene, supportive friends, tags will be edited as we go along, this is taking a mysterious turn, un-beta'd, we're going into international waters!, who are the Kanawuts even, yes eventually i added smut in because it felt right for the characters haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 56,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marylambb/pseuds/marylambb
Summary: The Ghost AU or it is?Photographer/Actor Mew, decides to take some time for himself and meets up with 3 of his childhood friends for a week-long getaway. There he meets a new friend G, who ends up tagging along for their adventures, even though apart from Mew, apparently no-one else is able to see G. So is he real, or just a figment of Mew’s imagination?
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 201
Kudos: 221





	1. We're not who we used to be

“Mew, when will you be leaving Bangkok? I will come and pick you up at the airport.” Mild Suttinut lifted a finger up to his stylist, asking for an extra minute as he searched around for a paper to pen down his best friend’s flight details. Finding none, he interrupted Mew Suppasit, who was in the midst of rattling off his flight details, “bro hold up, I can’t keep up, I’ve got to be on stage soon, can you just message me your details, and I will see you this weekend!” Before waiting for a response from Mew, he hung up his mobile and apologized to his stylist as they added some finishing touches to his makeup before the next shot commenced.

On the other side of the line, Mew blew his fringe out of his eyes, too used to Mild’s rushed calls to pay him much heed. The sound of chattering and laughter could be heard just outside the studio. Quickly sending the text that he was composing regarding his flight details, Mew slipped his locked phone into his pocket just as the fresh actors were coming back from their break. 

“Ok, guys, welcome back. We’re going to shoot a series of group shots before we break off into individual shots. We’re looking for your individual characters to shine through, so unless I want to change something specific, let’s just go with the flow.” There were a few titters that resounded within the group, some of the girls blushed but moved into their positions with professionalism. (a/n: let’s be real who wouldn’t when faced with a firm and serious side of Mew). Used to such reactions, Mew just smiled sweetly before looking through his viewfinder to make slight adjustments to the position of the group. “Can I have some accent light on the left and…”

By the time the last of the photoshoot was done and almost everyone had cleared out of the studio, Mew was ready to call it a day. Not to get him wrong, he loved being a photographer, and a part-time actor when he shows up for role casting whenever he feels like taking up an acting job. On top of that, right now when he is close to graduating with his Ph.D., his life seemed to be perfect from the outside, but inside he just feels so cold and tired. After his last failed relationship, he’s too cautious to open up his heart again. He’s had good relationships that ended because he was too intense for them, or because they couldn’t accept that he was achieving more than them, or because he turned out to be a rebound. Well, whatever the reason, the problem was that none of the relationships seemed to stick for him. Perhaps he’s just not meant to be with anyone. With that sobering thought, Mew packed up the last of his equipment, stood up, and walked towards the industrial-styled windows that overlooked the pretty lights of Bangkok. Undoing the top buttons of his work shirt, Mew rolled up his sleeves to his elbows and let out a heavy sigh as he supported his weight against the panel. “I guess it’s as good a time as any to just take a break for a while,” he mused, “Mew Suppasit, just take this time to reflect and rest up, you’ll be fine.”

Cutting a lonely figure, he stood in the semi-darkness and drank in the sight of nightfall in the city - some moments are just not meant to be captured on film - before leaving the studio. Getting in his car, he checked the last message from Mild confirming the pick-up time before turning up his drive-playlist to accompany him home. Back to his beautiful but mostly quiet apartment.  
He had no idea why he’s been so melancholic and pensive lately. So he’s looking forward to having some time out in nature in Chiang Mai with Mild and a few other friends. They had decided to take the week away from the city to regroup and rest up because they had all been too busy for a holiday the past year. The group consisted of his long-time friends from school and perhaps to no-one’s surprise all ended up in one way or another in the entertainment industry. Mild became an actor, Saint Suppapong took on modeling roles, and Tul Pakron took on acting and stuntman roles. Mew leaned his head back against his head-rest. It’ll be good to be reunited again, and the reason why no-one was really too surprised at their eventual career paths, was because of their looks and their charms. 

Too tired to cook that evening, Mew had decided to buy some sushi for dinner. Toeing off his shoes, he habitually placed his keys in its holder in the foyer and turned on the ambient lighting as he padded through his apartment. Food could wait a while more as he walked over to the kitchen to keep the sushi in the fridge, opting first for a shower to wash off the grime of the day. He always liked to feel clean and fresh whenever he got home. Before that, however, Mew grabbed a bowl from the drawer and started to prepare the dinner for the love of his life. He suspected that his baby was probably still taking a nap when he got back. Sure enough, upon hearing the sound of his dinner being prepared, Chopper, his pomeranian, announced his arrival with the rapid click of his nails against the tiled floor. Mew went down on his knees as his little bear of a dog came flying around the kitchen island. Barking excitedly, Chopper covered Mew’s face with little licks, his tail bobbing in excitement. “Daddy’s home, I’m going to get your dinner ready, shower, and then bring you for your walk before taking you to Mom and Dad’s ok.” Sometimes he thinks that Chopper understands him, as Chopper barked, maybe in agreement, before settling his wriggling rump on the floor. Chuckling, Mew finished preparing Chopper’s dinner and set it at the regular spot beside the counter. 

He felt his mood lifting as he stood under the hot spray of the shower. Well, it already started brightening up the moment he came home to his baby. Grabbing a fresh towel off the rack, Mew inhaled the fresh linen scent and wiped himself down, wrapping the towel around his lean waist as he stepped into his bedroom to rummage for his comfy sweats. By then Chopper was done with his dinner and judging by the squeaky sounds coming from the living room, he was playing with his treasure trove of toys.

Mew finally attended to his needs, opting to have his platted sushi in the living room to play with Chopper and to enjoy the city lights outside his high windows. He really did love watching the way Bangkok came to live at night and just watching the lights of the boats that traversed up and down the Chao Priya river. Looking around his tastefully decorated apartment, which he left up to his ID’s discretion to decorate, he felt lucky for having a place like this to call his own. The kitchen, dining room, or rather an island, and the living room had a running open space concept. With high ceilings and enough contrast of whites, light greys, and dark blues to accentuate the spaces prettily, a wide, brightly lit walkway led to the 2 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms in the house - just in case he had an overnight guest, they could stay the night. The same theme ran throughout the house, with large plants artfully placed in corners to bring some fresh greens to draw the eye. Mew took a centering breath and felt himself settle in more into his space. He felt 2 paws on his thigh and looked down to see Chopper resting his head on his paws, his plushy clamped between his jaw. Blinking innocently up at Mew, Chopper nudged his head against Mew’s arm as if to say, pay attention to me~ Grinning in adoration Mew obliged, resulting in a tug-o-war session before Mew put an end to it simply by saying “let’s go for a walk Chopper!”. In a blur, Chopper had already scrambled towards the door, running around in circles before becoming distracted chasing his own tail. Mew took that opportunity of distraction to wash his dish, and to grab Chopper’s leash and poop bag from a cabinet. 

The walk did him good too and it was time to head to his parents; which was just a thirty-minute drive from his place to drop Chopper and his personalized bag off. Mew knew he had his sappy smile on his face as he reached over to pat Chopper on his head. Pulling up into the driveway, he felt his heart settle in comfort as he took in his view of the home where he grew up. It didn’t take long before his mom came out of the house. “Mew, why are you just sitting in your car, come on in already.”

“Mae,” Mew greeted with a kiss to her cheek as she stood beaming up at him. “Mew, you need to take better care of yourself. Are you not eating properly, why do you look like you’ve lost weight?” 

“Ah,” shyly reaching up to rub the back of his head, Mew sheepishly replied, “yeah a little, my schedule has been a bit hectic lately.” To avoid being questioned further, Mew ducked back into the car and cradled Chopper in one arm, while grabbing his bag with his other hand. 

“Ok, let’s head in, I’m sorry I came by at such a late hour.”

“Oh, nonsense, it’s not that late, and you can come by anytime you like, not like you don’t know your dad’s late sleeping habits too.” Slipping a loving arm around her son, Mew and his mom strolled into the brightly lit home, the feeling of coming home engulfing Mew completely.


	2. The fridge light washes this room white

Mew touched down in Chiang Mai at three in the afternoon the following day. His shades firmly covering his eyes, white shirt left undone three buttons from the top, and his weekender in his hand, his confident stride through the airport drew much attention from the people in the arrival lounge. Oblivious to the stares he was getting, his eye was drawn to a sign that read “bitch, over here!” in hot pink neon fonts. That was obviously Mild’s idea. Shaking his head, but with a big smile etched across his face, Mew walked over to where his 3 closest friends were standing. 

“You really know how to keep us waiting, you little shit!” Tul teased as he playfully landed a jab to Mew’s arm. “Not my fault that there was a delay during the take-off at Sukhumvit!” Mew bantered back before he was grabbed in a one-armed hug by Saint. “Missed you, bro. But now that you’re here, can we get some food please!” That was Saint. Perpetually hungry but seemingly never putting on weight. Mild was about to turn away when he remembered, “oh yeah guys, some of our fans here saw us and gathered around to wait, but they’ve discussed amongst themselves to give us space to keep their volume down, let’s take some photos with them before we head off for lunch.” The boys readily agreed, a little embarrassed to admit that they didn’t notice that they had fans waiting in the sitting area, over the excitement of their little reunion.

Once the photos and the autographs were done, the four famished boys piled into Mild’s car for some Chiang Mai delicacies. They were laughing and jabbing at each other, just happy to be themselves and to fool around with no responsibilities for the upcoming week.

The evening sun over Chiang Mai was beautiful, casting golden hues over the lush green hills. They were heading into the old town where the majority of the attractions, bars, and restaurants were. Their plan was simple, have some delicious Khao Soi Khun Yai (a/n: this is basically a bowl of curry noodles and a side plate with the normal garnishing goodness of pickled mustard green, chopped red onions, a wedge of lime, and fragrantly roasted chili flakes, yum!), then walk around the Old Town for a bit, before picking up groceries that should last them a few days in the event they decided to stay in and veg out in the villa.

In the end, after a peaceful late lunch, since they were lucky to be the only ones in the shop, the four of them decided to skip out on walking around the old town as they attracted too much attention on the streets. Making a quick grocery run, they headed out of the city to where beautiful nature beckoned. About an hour later, they finally arrived at the Villa where they would spend the following week. 

The family home stood out amongst the rolling landscape, a double story of glass and concrete, different from the other resort-like villas in the area that went for a more wooden feel. It belonged to one of Mild’s family friends and was perfectly designed with the right amount of openness and privacy. Turning straight into the short driveway, Mild navigated them into the garage and soon the four were stepping out of the car.   
The garage linked straight into the main house that had an open-space concept for all the common areas. Spacious and cast with the glow of the evening sun, the place looked warm and welcoming. Leaving their shoes by the entrance hall and switching into the house slippers, they traversed between the kitchen with its long counters, island counter, and the living room with its large sofas and comfy pillows. The color theme of whites, greys, greens, and blues evenly spaced out through the large room. The long windows gave the illusion that they were outdoors even while they were in the house, while the waters in the infinity pool glimmered, beckoning them for a swim.

“I’m heading up to take the master room,” Mild grinned. “ Well actually all the bedrooms here are the same size, with queen-sized beds, but I like the dark colors in the master suite so I’m taking that, you guys just decide which room you want. There are 2 rooms on this floor and 2 more rooms, apart from mine, on the second floor.” His voice started trailing off as he walked further away from the other three, already making a beeline for his bedroom.

Saint and Tul exchanged looks with each other and dashed towards the stairs at the same time, laughing maniacally when they tried to out-squeeze each other on the way up the flight of stairs.  
Smiling at his friends’ antics, Mew calmly walked past a row of windows and the dining space, to the second section of the house. Choosing his room between the two available options was easy, one was facing the pool and the other was facing the garden at the front of the house. He set his leather weekender on the luggage rack by the door and took in the view of his room with appreciation. It was an en suite and the room had large windows that opened up to the view of the pool and the hills beyond it. Slipping his house shoes off and placing them beneath the rack, Mew wriggled his bare toes on the parquet floors as he ventured further into the bedroom. His bed was propped on a raised platform in the middle of the room facing the windows. The snow-white sheets looked soft and inviting under the room’s ambient lighting. Dark blue curtains were drawn to the side of the windows and Mew decided to open the sliding panels back for some natural evening air.

Stretching his arms over his head, he turned back to his bag by the door to unpack and take a shower before starting dinner preparations with the boys.

By the time he was out of the shower, a loose pair of sweatpants sitting low on his hips as he towel-dried his hair, the sound of the boys in the kitchen could be heard from the open windows. Mew decided to finish his after shower routine before leaving his room through the poolside. 

In the kitchen, Tul and Mild were fighting over who had to prepare the chicken, while Saint was calmly chopping vegetables on the island counter. They too had left the panels to the poolside open, so that the entire length of the glass that spanned the living to the dining room was fully pushed to the sides. Mew grinned as he entered the space, “nice apron you’ve got there Saint.” Saint only threw a kissy face at him as he continued to chop up the vegetable with expert strokes. “Yeah, yeah, there’s one for you hanging beside the fridge too.” 

Mild gave up fighting with Tul and turned puppy eyes to Mew to ask him to help with the raw chicken. “Mew, you’re good at cooking, can you help me pweaseeee?” 

Without batting an eyelid - yes, Mew was that used to Mild’s antics - Mew took the apron off the hook and tied it around his waist. “Scoot over, if you’re the one handling our food tonight, I think we would end up with only vegetables on the table.” Fake-offended, Mild threw his hands up behind Mew’s back, about to pull funny faces when Mew continued above the boys’ good-natured laughter,” and don’t you dare stick out your tongue at me, we all know it’s true.” 

Dinner was shortly served without too much ado, soon the long dining table was filled with various dishes. There was a large bowl of rice, coconut curry noodle soup, surrounded by other dishes - green curry, mango salad, pad thai, basil chicken, and stir-fried vegetables. Tul took out the Thai coconuts as well and prepared a jug of fresh coconut juice for all of them. 

“What a feast!” Mild rubbed his hands together, eyes darting around the table to take in the sight of all the delicious food laid out. He was about to reach for the basil chicken when Saint smacked the back of his hand with a laugh. “Remove your apron, and go and wash your hands before we start. I swear Mild, you’re like a kid sometimes.” With a sheepish expression, Mild went off to do as he was told as the rest finished setting the table. 

Warm voices and laughter floated around the table as they exchanged stories of days gone by and updates in each other’s life. They cleared up all the dishes and kept away left-overs for the next meal before deciding to lounge on the chairs by the pool. The night breeze flowed gently over their skins. The moonlight cast a gentle glow on the landscape as the clear tenor of the four voices slowly dwindled to low murmurings as they started falling into a post-food drowsy state. Mew was about to doze off when the sound of a sigh by his ear startled him awake. He was the last one on the right and the sound came from the right side of his ear. Sitting up, he saw that the other boys were falling asleep on the chair. The sound that woke him was quickly forgotten as he roused the rest up to chase them to their rooms. Once that was settled, Mew closed the panels in the common room before returning to his room. He had left the windows open earlier in the evening and decided to leave them open since he figured that there would be no-one else around for miles anyway. 

After his shower and his night routine, Mew threw on a pair of boxes and climbed between the white fluffy sheets. As he’d expected, the bed was soft and fluffy and for the first time in a year, he fell quickly into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	3. Tongue-tied like we’ve never known

The morning sun peeked shyly along the edges of the horizon. Stirring in the warmth of his bed, Mew stretched lazily as he opened his eyes to a dazzling bright room, legs shifting comfortably against the soft sheets. Disoriented for a moment before he remembered that he was not in his room, but on vacation in Chiang Mai. Lifting his arms above his head and giving himself a good, full-bodied stretch, he decided to get a head start on his day. 

He quickly made his bed and strode into the bathroom. The warm spray of a well-pressured shower freshened him up quickly. As he gave himself a satisfying scrub from head to toe, Mew’s mind started wandering, thinking of framing shots to put together for a memorable photo book as a thank-you gift to his boys. 

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel, once again thrown off by the different scent of detergent used for the linens, it smelled wonderful, but his mind still needed some time to re-adjust. 

‘Perhaps it’s been some time since I last traveled and took time for myself, that’s why I’m still getting used to stepping out of my clock-work life?’ he mused as he brushed his teeth and completed the rest of his routine. 

Throwing on a white linen shirt and beige slacks, Mew left his room with his camera around his neck and a note in his hand informing the boys that he'd gone to explore the estate and not to wait for him for breakfast. Leaving the note on the dining table, Mew changed out of his house slippers and left the house by the front door, opting to walk further down the road just to see where the road leads. 

The silence was comforting, the fresh air cleared his mind and the unfiltered sounds of nature steeped his mind into a different world, and created a safe space where he felt that he could just be present in the moment. 

It was so different from the usual hustle and bustle of Bangkok. 

He took shots of the nature around him, the hills, and the little animals that he came across, finally circling around to the back of the villa. He had ended up at the bottom of a gentle hill and could see the house at the crest of the hill. He walked around the field a little more before planning to just walk up the slope back to the villa so that he would arrive by the poolside once again. There were other villas down the road from theirs but were all set a considerable distance away. Mew was happy with the expense of privacy he could get from this place. 

Just as that thought crossed his mind, he saw a figure casually lounging on the grass, propped up against the side of the gentle slope. 

Limbs that seem to stretch out for miles were encased in a pair of dark jeans ending in a white pair of sneakers, and the sleeves of his white shirt were cuffed up above his elbows. One leg was bent and an arm was slung over his head. Mew’s eyes trailed up the enticing body line, before settling on his face. The guy's delicate features seemed to gleam in the sunlight, his side-swept fringe falling dangerously near his eye line. 

Mew felt his vision take on a focus-lens sharpness as he took in the delectable sight in front of him. Index finger twitching on the capture button of his camera but without the intention of capturing the image in front of him. This is another one of those moments that needed to be lived in and not captured for the world to see. 

He would later think that it was strange that he did not even entertain any thoughts on who this person was, why he was there etc. The only running thought in his head was to breathe and maintain the peaceful ambiance around the scene set in front of his very eyes.

“Are you just going to stop and stare?” A sweet voice interrupted Mew’s thoughts. Caught by surprise, Mew just stood there in an extended moment of silence, his brain struggling to come online, pausing as his attention was caught by his words, _[Stop and Stare by OneRepublic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtNS1afUOnE)_ immediately playing in his mind. 

The stranger opened his eyes, and oh, he had the warmest pair of brown eyes he’d ever seen. Mew could feel his ears burn as a blush spread over his cheeks. The other guy smiled and sat up, before pushing himself off the ground. 

Standing there facing each other, Mew finally found his voice. “H-hi.” His voice broke. He cleared his throat. He tried again. “Hi, I’m Mew, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to seem so rude-” He paused as he saw the guy suddenly furrow his brows though his expression smoothed over quickly. Mew wondered briefly if he was caught ogling, but found out the reason for his reaction soon enough. 

Gulf quickly interjected during Mew’s pause, in a bid to reassure him that, “no, no you weren’t rude. I could just feel that there was someone there but you weren’t saying anything.” He smiled, and the shadow of a frown crossed his brows again. “But, well, this is probably going to sound so weird to you right now, but the thing is, when you were introducing yourself I just realized I d-don’t, erm, I can’t remember my name?” He grimaced. “I think it starts with G, but I don’t seem to remember anything else about me. And I know we just met, b-but,” he exhaled harshly, ”ok, ok. I’m lowkey freaking out now.”   
He then let out a nervous huff of a laugh as he sat back down on the side of the hill, cupping his head in his hands. 

Mew took a seat beside G, gripped by the sudden need to reach out to comfort the younger guy - well he didn’t know if he was really younger, his gut feeling was telling him so - but he was also hesitant to do so seeing that they had just met.

“Hey, hey G, yeah? Look at me, c’mon.” Mew waited for G to look him in the eye before continuing, a rising tight feeling in his chest, where his long-dormant heart lay, suddenly contracted when he saw the fear and confusion in G’s eyes by the time G looked straight at him. He really just wanted to comfort him, that became his sole focus, to comfort and to soothe. 

“I know this is scary and you’re afraid, and maybe you might have fallen and hit your head earlier?” G immediately reached up to check his head for any injuries, and Mew paused in concern before continuing since G seemed to have felt no injuries when G shook his head after his quick check. 

“Ok, that’s good. We have to come up with a plan of action and I’m guessing that you do not have a place to go to, or rather, you might not remember where you live?…” Mew hurriedly corrected himself when he saw G tensing again. “... and I know that we just met and either of us could be an ax-murderer or something, but I’m trusting you’re not,” Mew let a smile out as he saw G hold back a snicker at ‘ax-murderer’. “So if you want, I’m staying with some friends,” lifting his chin in the direction of the villa, G turned in the direction where Mew had indicated to. “So you could come and stay with us while we figure this out together ok? If you like, that is! I don’t want you to feel pressured, but I am genuinely offering this to help you.”

\--- 

G’s POV

He felt so embarrassed and so ashamed that he had to meet this gorgeous stranger under such, disconcerting circumstances. He really couldn’t remember anything other than falling asleep on the hillside last night. Furrowing his brows, G tried to recall details of his past, but a sharp pain pulsed through his head. He didn’t even know why he thought his name started with G, but it just came to mind when he tried to introduce himself to P’Mew. Who seemed older than him. 

Wait, did he even know his age? … Ok, apparently not. But could he impose his presence on someone he literally just met? He felt so bad about the whole situation, but he had to admit that he really didn’t know where to go, or even who to call. An idea came to mind and he hurriedly patted down his pockets, hoping to have something on him that could tell him about himself. 

Unfortunately, he came out empty-handed. He looked up to see P’Mew looking at him worriedly. Oh, right, he was still waiting for an answer. Thinking back to the term ‘ax-murderer’ he couldn’t help but snicker at it. P’Mew seemed like a genuinely nice person, maybe he could go with him and see if the other friends that P’Mew was living with are ok with him being there? Ok, maybe he could give this a shot and see if he can get his footing around this situation. Perhaps try and gain some of his memories back. 

\---

Mew was starting to get anxious at G’s silence. He really wanted to take care of this nong, and he didn’t even know where this need came from. But he didn’t want to force the younger guy to do anything that he was not comfortable with. So he waited. 

Shortly after that silence, G bit his lip, and looking at him in the eye, said, “i-if you’re sure that’s it’s ok to bunk in with you for a while? I’m so sorry I don’t want to cause any inconvenience for you, but you’re right, I really don’t know where to go or who to call.”

Mew smiled in relief. He was more than happy to help G out, and less than willing to explore this feeling arising within his heart.   
“Ok, let’s head up, I think my friends should be awake by now, I think I’ve been wandering outside for about two hours already, I suppose.” 

G nodded and they slowly made their way up the grassy slope.   
To see G smile again and to distract him temporarily, Mew started sharing how he and the other three came to take a vacation in Chiang Mai and some of their backstories.


	4. Swimming in a glass half empty

As they reached the top of the slope, Mew and G walked around the infinity pool towards the common area where Mild, Saint, and Tul were lounging in the living room, eyes fixated on the Fifa match projected on the screen. The match was between Saint and Mild. Without taking his eyes off the screen, Tul called out to Mew, "come over and join us or take your breakfast first if you’ve not eaten, we made some pancakes and left them on the counter.”

Mew’s eyes widened in surprise, why did it seem like everyone always knew when he was around? “Hey Tul, how did you know I’m back, do I stomp around or something?” 

Tul still did not bother to look at Mew’s direction as he replied, “Nah bro, there’s just a field around you, so it’s pretty obvious when you enter a room.” Both Mild and Saint grunted their agreement, loathe to even reply properly as they button-smash their controllers. 

Scratching the back of his head, he exchanged looks with G who just beamed at him. Lifting a shoulder, Mew beckoned G to go towards the kitchen portion of the room. “By the way guys, I met someone when I went out on my walk earlier, he’s here now so when you’re done with the game come over and introduce yourself please.” Mew walked over to the sink to wash his hands before preparing their food. 

Tul turned around at that but didn’t see anyone with Mew, assuming that the friend went to use the bathroom, he just nodded and said he’ll drag the guys over shortly before turning back to the screen. 

Looking through the cupboards for the sharing plates, Mew didn’t notice Tul’s reaction. Eventually, he found two smaller plates and started to serve the pancakes. G leaned his hip against the counter looking on amusedly as Mew proceeded to work out the servings for both of them. It felt so natural that it didn’t even cross his mind that P’Mew didn’t ask if he wanted to eat, and just assumed care of him. It was sweet. Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Mew looked up from what he was doing, “what?” he laughed, “am what I’m doing seem strange to you? I bet you’ve not had anything to eat this morning too.” 

G shook his head, “Nah, you just look so domestic doing that.”

They both laughed as Mew carried the plates and the utensils to the dining table. “Have a seat first while I grab us something to drink, do you have any preferences?” 

G brushed his hair back and pursed his lips, “mmm, no preference, anything is fine, thanks.” 

Mew just nodded and poured two glasses of orange juice for them. Just as he was about to ask G to start eating, the boys came towards the table, talking about Saint’s winning shot as they sat at the other vacant seats. Mew smiled reassuringly at G before turning to his friends, “Sorry I missed the game guys...” 

They just waved his apology off, “no need to apologize,” Mild said, “do what you need to do, we’re here to relax and chill that’s all. Wait, so where’s your friend whom you want to introduce to us?” 

At that, Mew and G looked at each other, eyes wide, before Mew turned back to Mild. “Hey don’t joke like that, it’s your first time meeting each other, be nice.” 

However, looking at Mild, Saint, and Tul’s genuinely confused expression, Mew felt apprehension rise within him. 

“Mew,” Saint started, “is your friend in the toilet? You said he’s here and you’ve even prepared a breakfast portion for him.” 

“Ok guys, not funny. His name is G, and he’s just sat right here,” gesturing at the seat at the head of the table. 

Mew looked at G whose face had turned pale. “P’Mew… D-do y-your friends not see me?” His voice trailed off in a soft whisper. Mew wanted to reach out for G’s hand but G had his hands clasped together in his lap, beneath the table. As he reached his hand across the table reflexively, the protective feeling welling up within him, Mild spoke up. 

The other three had tracked his movement with their eyes. Finally catching on that something wasn’t right. 

“Dude, are you ok? Did something happen on your walk?” Concern colored Mild's tone as he moved to the seat beside Mew, placing a hand on Mew’s shoulder. 

Confused, Mew looked around the table at his friends. “Ok, I’m being very serious here, I met G, “ he gestured towards the head of the table again, “who is sat right here. I met him at the base of the villa when I was on my walk, and we found out that he might have knocked his head or something because he couldn’t remember his name, where he came from, whether he has family, etc, and he has no ID on him as well.” Mew said everything before he lost his nerve. 

His friends looked like they wanted to say something, but held back until he was done. Saint then said calmly, “Ok, let us just process this, and we don’t want to jump to conclusions. First off, let me say for myself, and may I on behalf of Tul and Mild,“ he looked towards them, who nodded their heads, Saint took a deep breath and continued, “we don’t see anyone seated at the head of the table. We can only see the plate of pancakes and the glass of orange juice.” 

Beside him, Mew heard G take in a sharp breath, he turned to see that G’s head was lowered and his shoulders were hunched over defensively. Mew desperately wanted to talk to G now, but he had to finish this with his friends first. Turning back to Saint, Mew tried to plead with his eyes. “I have no idea what is happening right now. I don’t know why you guys say you can’t see him, but I know you’re not pulling my leg, and you won’t play such a cruel joke on someone you just met, well, _met_ , argh, any way you know what I mean. Can you just give me a few minutes to talk to G and I swear I’ll come back out to talk to you guys about this?”

Saint put his hands up to show no ill-intention. “Yes, by all means, go ahead, we know you won’t play such a joke on us too, it sure is weird, let me be straight up with you, but I’m- we’re, worried about you as well ok. We’ll just wait here, but we need to talk about this, so don’t take too long.” Mew knew that his friends were worried about him and didn’t quite believe that he was fine, but he had more pressing matters to attend to. 

Getting on his knees beside G, aware of three other pairs of eyes on him, Mew peered up at G’s lowered head. Keeping a hand on the back of the chair behind G so as not to startle him, Mew coaxed him softly. “G come on, let’s go to my room ok, just us. Don’t be afraid, I’m here with you remember? Can you come with me?”

\---

G’s POV

W-what do they mean they c-can’t see me? His internal thoughts were messed up in his head. What does this mean? Are they playing a joke? But they all seem like nice people and they don’t know me so why would they be playing such a joke on me? Should I go? But I don’t know if I have the strength to get up. Oh my god. What do I do now? 

Just as his thoughts were going on a downward spiral, he tuned out the voices around him that he recognized held confusion, but not malice. The next thing he knew, P’Mew was looking up at him - wait, what? When did he get on the floor? P’Mew’s calm, soft voice penetrated through the fog that was swirling in his head. Is he offering him a way out? To leave? Ah, no to his room. But why? Ok to talk. Maybe talking is good, it will help him get out of his head a bit and maybe there is a reasonable explanation to all of this. 

\---


	5. Chapter 5

Mew waited once again for G to respond to him. He could feel the tension building in the room as his friends continued to watch over him with tangible concern in their eyes. Finally, G moved and nodded his head, looking up at Mew as if Mew could keep him safe. 

Mew let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “Ok, come with me.” He then stood up and waited for G to stand up before turning to his friends. “I’ll be back shortly, and then we’ll talk ok.” They nodded in tandem and Mew guided G to his room, feeling relief flood him. 

G did not leave. G was still here with him. Rubbing his chest, Mew felt his brow furrow again, he had no idea why he felt so protective over G. They reached his room and Mew opened the door for him. G turned to him and asked timidly, “erm, P, is it ok if I just washed my feet first before we go in?” Mew beamed, tension falling off his shoulders at G’s voice. “Actually that’s my habit as well, let’s just use the bathroom together, it’ll save time.”

Mew turned on the showerhead and tended to both of them before we went back into the bedroom. On the other side of the room, there was a small seating area and both Mew and G took a seat before Mew opened, “G I understand that it is a lot now, and I don’t understand anything either. But tell me how you are feeling please, and if you think I’m freaking out over my friends not being able to see you, which is strange, I am more worried and a little scared for you, I want you to know that I’m here for you ok.” 

Seeing G worry his lip when he said ‘scared for you’, Mew realized that it might be construed the wrong way, and hurried to add, “when I say ‘scared for you’, I meant on your behalf. So I’m not scared of you, please don’t misunderstand me. I’m scared that you would feel too lonely, uncertain, and afraid. Also, I know this must be even more strange for you that a stranger that you’ve known for less than an hour is being this open with you, it’s just as strange for me to feel relatively calm about all of this. All I know is that I just want to be here for you and to help you.”

G’s mouth opened and closed a few times during Mew’s unexpected speech. “I’m so s-sorry that I kept causing so much t-trouble to y-you.” His breath hitched as if he was fighting back a sob. “I don’t understand what is going on either. Am I d-dead, or a g-ghost or is this some next level s-super-h-hero - hic - shit that’s happening?” G’s tears had started silently dripping down his face, which had turned a shade of red as he fought to hold back his tears.

“You definitely couldn’t control this, so don’t blame yourself, we’ll work together to get to the bottom of this mystery ok? And I don’t know about ‘dead’, you definitely do not seem dead to me, and a ghost? You look almost certainly human. Your face is red and you’re crying, I don’t know if ghosts even have the capacity to do that? Like, do they have blood capillaries, etc? Maybe we could Google that.” At that, G let out a soft giggle. Mew smiled in response to that as well. “So if you want, maybe staying in my room, for the time being, will help a bit? I can bring in the food and you can see if you’re able to ingest anything? Otherwise, please just stay and rest here? I will talk to the boys and come back to you as soon as I can alright?” G nodded in agreement, but Mew was not satisfied, he had a sudden fear that when he left, G would just disappear. “Promise me, please. That you’ll stay.”

“I promise.”

Mew nodded and turned to leave the room, “I’ll be back with breakfast and then I’ll come back again after.” True to his word, Mew returned almost immediately with the breakfast items, placed them on the table, and with a last look as if to reassure himself that G would stay, left to talk to the boys. 

The three of them were still sitting around the dining table, solemn expressions on their faces. Mew sat down with a sigh. Worry clouding his sharp features. “Do you guys think I’m crazy?”

“Wait, what, no, Mew.” Mild immediately reassured him. “Ok, well, in the beginning, we thought you were pulling our legs, or like it could be a hallucination from over-work right?:

“Or you could really have been pulling a fast one,” Saint interjected. “But the way you were acting, is like it was someone you were attracted to.” Mew, who was about to take a sip of his juice, choked on air. 

“W-what? I mean he is cute but that doesn’t mean I’m attracted to hi-”

Rolling his eyes, Saint continued over Mew’s objections. “I can’t believe that was the only thing you reacted to. Now, hush. Ok, so I was saying, because your actions seem so genuine, we figured that we believe you, and we’ve always got your back no matter what anyway. So no matter how improbable all these may seem, even if it deems us all crazy, we’d rather stand behind you.” Tul and Mild nodded in agreement. 

Tul added, “and although we can’t see him, for whatever reason - hey do you think maybe he’s a spirit, and you’ve got the third eye or something? -” Saint smacked him on his head, “just finish what you need to say first before you side-track.” 

Pouting and rubbing his head, Tul continued, “didn’t have to do that…. Anyway! Wait, what was I-, oh yeah, ok, so even if we can’t see him, I’m not going to pretend that I can, because that would be insulting to him, but we’ll try to be accepting, and you just need to tell us where he is so that we don’t accidentally sit on him or something yeah? Well, that sounded weird actually, ha ha, but yeah as what Mild and Saint said, we’ve got your back.”

“So you guys already discussed all these when I was in the room huh?” Mew sheepishly said. He was deeply touched by how supportive and accepting his friends were. Even in the strangest of circumstances, they’ve got him. “Thank you, for believing in me and not treating all of this as a joke or that I’m crazy. In fact, I’m surprised that you’re all relatively calm. Actually I’m surprised myself that I've been relatively calm since we found out as well.” Small laughter broke around the table, partly from relief that they’ve talked about it, partly, in agreement and partly at how other-worldly all these seemed. 

“So, now that these are settled, how can we help?” Saint leaned forward, his eyes bright with excitement to do a little detective work.  
“Wait- Before we start, does G know that he’s not, you know, visible?” Tul questioned, earning another smack on the head by Mild this time. 

“Doofus! Of course, he knows now, seeing how surprised Mew was earlier and how concerned he was after.”

“Yeah, we didn’t know,” Mew confirmed. “He’s probably freaking out now, so I’m going to check on him. Thanks again, you guys, for you know-” he gestured vaguely, feeling a little tired from the roller-coaster morning he’s had. “I’ll probably try and start looking into more of this, this afternoon. You guys should go for a swim or do something else, you don’t have to feel obliged to rush into research and stuff like that now.” 

“We’ll help, we want to, but yeah, good idea, we’ll probably do our things first and we can figure this out later.” Saint nodded toward Mew’s room, indicating he should go and check on G. “And no problem, we’re going to be always here for each other.”


	6. Chapter 6

G was seated on the open veranda when Mew returned. The stiffened muscles in his back were the only indication that he knew Mew was back in the room. The muted sound of bare feet padding on the parquet floor drawing close to where G sat let him know where Mew was exactly. 

Mew eyed the untouched breakfast on the table.

“Enjoying the view?” Mew asked as he settled down comfortably on the ground beside G. 

G hummed. “It’s nice… Erm, what did P’Mild and the rest say?”

“Wait before I answer you, didn’t you feel like eating?”

G looked down, “I didn’t feel hungry that’s all.”

Mew knew not to push. Returning to G’s question, “actually, they were very supportive, and they said they will also try to do some res-”

“Wait, they didn’t freak out or accuse you of lying?” G turned his Bambi-eyes to Mew. Looking at Mew’s taken-aback expression, he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

Clearing his throat, Mew refused to acknowledge that he lost his train of thought when G turned those eyes on him, especially with that bright innocent look.   
“Eh, no, no problem. So I was saying… right, they want to help to do some research to find out what could be the possible cause, and also to see if we can find anything to help you remember your background. I was also surprised that they would think that you were not real and just a figment of my imagination or something, but they’re really my bros.” Mew smiled at the memory of the conversation, he felt really lucky to have them in his life. “We’ve been there for each other through many challenging situations, and though this situation is kind of new, they still took it in stride.”

G smiled, feeling happy that he was truly not alone in this strange world. “I’m glad you found me on your walk this morning P’Mew. Otherwise, I don’t know where I will be or what I would have done if I was alone. Also, thanks for not thinking that I could be an ax-murderer. Well, I might be a vengeful spirit out seeking revenge.” G giggled at that thought, wondering if he could pull off a scary look or vibe. 

Mew’s heart stuttered when he heard G’s cute giggle. He was glad that G seemed to be calmer and taking it more in stride now.   
“A vengeful spirit? With that doe-eyed baby look? I highly doubt so. Could potentially be cunning or manipulative, on the other hand.” He teased. 

G put on a stern look - or tried to, anyway. “You will just have to wait and see which category I fall under.” 

Mew simply laughed and reached out to ruffle G’s hair before he could give his actions a second thought. 

There was a strange feeling, it felt like he was touching an intangible object. If he had to describe it, he would describe the feeling like he was touching the surface of the water in the pool; where, when you placed your hand lightly on the surface of the water body or letting the weight of your hand sink a little into the water, there would be a feeling of slight resistance or pressure.   
Yet when you exert just the smallest amount of force, the feeling goes away and your hand would become used to the feeling of being fully submerged in water. 

G also seemed taken aback. “P’Mew did you just try to touch my head?” Mew nodded, his outreached hand frozen in mid-air, surprise still etched on his face from that strange disconcerting feeling.   
“It felt weird, nice, but weird. Can you do it again?”

Mew nodded and tried again, this time expecting the same feeling so he reacted better. “How does it feel for you nong?”

G was leaning his head towards Mew. Eyes closed as he tried to describe the sensation. “It’s like… there’s a feeling of static, and a certain amount of pressure, but it’s light and there’s a bit of warmth. Is it the same for you?”

G’s eyes remained closed as he listened to Mew try and give the description of putting one’s hand in water.

For the rest of the early afternoon, the two lounged and chatted about everything and nothing, a feeling of normalcy settling over them like a warm fuzzy blanket. They played 21 questions, to which some of the questions G knew the answer to, like what his favorite food was: crispy pork, spicy food. His favorite sport: soccer. His favorite colors: black and white. But anything else that had any amount of specificities like his age, his occupation, etc, were things which drew a blank on. In return, he found out that Mew loved sushi, and salmon, he loved dark blue, he was 28 this year, was doing his Ph.D. on top of being a photographer and actor, that he wanted to try his hand at singing and songwriting as well, and a slew of other things. When Mew got around to asking if G was really not hungry, indicating the untouched plate, G just shrugged and said that he really didn’t feel hungry.

Eventually, they were pulled out of their little bubble when a knock came at the door, before opening a little to reveal Mild, who poked his head through the gap. “Hey sorry to interrupt you guys, but my family just called me, something’s happened to our family friend. So I’ve got to head back to Bangkok for a day or two. If you need anything please do not hesitate to call me ok? I’ll come back here as soon as I can.” 

During this short update, Mew had already moved from his spot and now reached over to open the door fully, exposing both Saint and Tul who were standing behind Mild in the hallway. Mew just smiled at the funny picture they made, before turning eyes filled with concern to Mild. “Are you ok, do you need anything? Actually wait, let’s go to the living room. G you can come too if you feel like it?” 

He turned to look at G, but G was looking at Mild. Mew understood that look immediately. “Oh, Mild do you mind if he joins us?”

Mild looked startled for a moment, likely having forgotten that he couldn’t see G. “Not at all, yeah let’s maybe have something too munch before I leave too.” The boys agreed, and as they walked back to the common space, Saint and Tul decided to check for leftovers they had in the fridge, to pull together an afternoon snack. In the end, they all warmed up some of the curry noodles and sliced some French loaf to have it with the curry. “Mew, G, do you want a portion?” 

Mew shook his head and turned to look at G who also declined. “No not for us, thank you.”

“Yay more for me!” Tul cheered, earning a smack on his head. “Glutton, if you gain too much weight this trip, Max is going to come after me,” Saint grumbled. “Have some self-control please.”

Mew just laughed, explaining to G, “Max is Tul’s boyfriend. He knows how much Tul could eat so he told us to keep an eye on him this trip.” G just smiled at the comfortable camaraderie between the group. “So Mild, your mom called you earlier?” Mew prompted.

Settling around the dining table with the steaming bowls of noodles in front of them, Mild started to twirl his noodles around his fork, blowing on it to cool it. “ Yeah, she suddenly called and said that something happened to the Kanawut family. To head back to Bangkok because it had to do with my childhood friend. I have not seen him for a few years, and it seemed like something serious happened to him. Our moms are best friends so I know she’s deeply affected by this as well. She didn’t tell me the details, but I could tell that it was serious from her voice.”

G had been looking out towards the pool the whole time, but he seemed like he was still listening to the conversation. Mew turned his attention back to Mild. “Ok, let us know if you need anything. Are you ok in the meantime? I mean you two did grow up together.” 

Mild shrugged, but they could all clearly see that he too was stressed and worried. “I can only try and keep calm for now, but I’ll see what I can do when I’m there. And if everything is going to be ok, I’ll see you back here in a few days. Otherwise, do you mind helping me bring back some of my stuff to Bangkok and I’ll arrange to pick them up from you?”

The boys all readily agreed. They also told Mild to leave the dishes, as they’ll wash it for him while he packs his things before they drive him to the airport.


	7. Chapter 7

After sending Mild off at the airport, Mew drove them back to the Villa. G in the passenger seat beside him, looking out at the passing scenery and playing with his fingers. Saint and Tul in the backseat, both texting their partners about the updates. Mew and G were fine with them telling their respective partners about everything that’s happened from the time they’ve arrived up till Mild’s departure.

 _[What's Up by 4 Non Blondes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc)_ started playing on the radio.

Without taking his eyes off the road, Mew reached over to the passenger side and gently laid his hand over G’s. The same disconcerting feeling pulling the both of them back into reality. But that little move reminded G once again that he was not alone. Earlier on, back at the Villa when Mild said that something happened to his family friends, the Kanawut family. He felt his stomach lurch and his heart tremble. On the outside, he tried to keep the same expression so as not to alarm P’Mew, who needed to be there for his best friend and did not, of all times and people, be distracted by him. So he stayed silent. Perhaps he could ask P'Mew later, about who that family was since that was the first time he had such a reaction. 

In the meantime, it wouldn’t be so bad to just relax and not worry so much about the future for just a short while, while he enjoys the company of someone who makes him feel safe, right?

In the backseat, Saint and Tul had started a group chat with their S/Os and Mild.

Saint changed the subject to 'Oh No Mew Suppawhipped?'

Saint: Hey guys, I’m worried that Mew will be Suppagone for G.  
Tul: I think they’re holding hands  
Saint: Nah, I think Mew is just resting his hand on G’s..  
Saint: Wait, do you think he’s a spirit, or just an invisible man, like that movie?  
Max: Stop gossiping about them behind their backs, like literally, right now.  
Tul: But babe, we are just concerned about his well-being  
Max: Then talk to him about it.  
Saint: But it’s only been one day...  
Max: Exactly and you’re already jumping ahead of the curve.  
Max: Where’s Zee when you need him.  
Saint: Sleeping hehe  
Saint: Mild’s going to get so many notifs when he touches down

When they returned to the Villa, Saint and Tul bade the other two a good night and went up to their rooms. Mew showed G the other room on the first floor, but they soon realized that while G seemed just like any other person, and kind of had some semblance of substance to him, he couldn’t defy the laws of physics if he had no proper body. So when he tried to open the door of the bathroom, he could place his hand on the knob, but no matter how he tried, he couldn’t turn it. 

Mew stood by silently, just letting G give it a go a couple of times. When that failed and he could see how frustrated G was becoming, he placed his hand over G’s and tugged it away from the knob. Their eyes met, one full of worry, the other, frustration.

“Come with me.” Mew’s tone booked no arguments.

G nodded meekly, feeling so, so tired, all of a sudden.

They crossed the hallway to Mew’s room. “I don’t even know if it’ll work but I just feel weird if I don’t shower.” 

“Yeah why don’t I help you turn the shower on and if you need any help just holler and I’ll come help, only if you’re comfortable with it, that is-.” Mew offered. G nodded shyly, really not used to going to bed, or even coming home, without a shower. 

Mew set everything up as best as he could and left the shower on, and the door slightly ajar as he left the bathroom. He could feel a bit of heat emitting from his neck, not because he was shy, but he had suddenly started imaging G in the shower, a dangerous path that he was not willing to continue on at this point in time. Or even ever, because how would that work out for them? Wait, why was he even thinking about a ‘them’. Shaking his head free of these thoughts, Mew gestured for G to enter the bathroom before leaving the door ajar in case G needed help. As G walked past, Mew could see that the tips of his ears were bright red as well, however, he decided not to tease G about it. About 20 mins later G reemerged, and although he looked the same as before, he did seem fresher. Also, he was _only in his boxers_. A very disconcerting fact that Mew struggled to not dwell upon. The rest of his clothes folded in his hands, G looked around the room and decided to place his clothes atop an exposed shelf in the built-in cupboard.

Mew was curious. “So how was the shower experience?”

G nodded cutely, addressing his lack of clothes first. “P, I hope you don’t mind, but I felt better without my only set of clothes when going to sleep,” Mew responded by shaking his head, mouth already dry. “Erm, thanks. I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable or anything.” Mew shook his head again. His eyes were drawn to his little tummy, suddenly fighting against an overwhelming urge to hug him. Clearing his throat, he replied with “no, don’t mind at all.” 

“Ok, oh yeah my shower experience, it was weird but cool. Like now I know the only things I can move or manipulate are my clothes or my hair. But everything else… I can sort of feel it, but I don’t know if it’s because it’s a muscle memory thing, but at the same time, I can feel like it’s not exactly touching me, similar as to how it felt when you pat my hair today, or when I sit on chairs. Just lightly tangible, but there seems to be a feeling of having an electric field around me. So I guess this would extend to the concept of food and the need for nutrients, like, you know a normal person? Hypothesizing that the same field might keep anything from actually interacting with me. ” Suddenly feeling a little bare, G rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Before indicating with a tilt of his head towards the bed.

“Are you ok sharing your bed with me, otherwise it’s fine, I can sleep on the so-” Before he could complete his sentence, Mew shook his head quickly. “No, don’t. It’s fine to share the bed with me, really. Thanks for opening up to me about how you felt. Yeah, I’ve also noticed you still seemed fine even after not having anything to eat since the previous night, but I still wanted to hear from you that you’re ok. For now, just make yourself comfortable alright? I’m going to shower now.” G nodded. Hoping that he really isn’t coming off as an annoyance or hindrance to P’Mew. 

After half an hour or so, Mew came back out, also shirtless, and in a comfortable pair of joggers, but also with some green stuff on his face. Hearing that adorable giggle that seems to be worming its way deeper into his heart, Mew took in the sight of G sprawled across his bed, looking dangerously beautiful and alluring. “It’s cute that you mask your face as part of your night routine. Can you talk, or is this the type of mask that will harden and give you laughter lines if you even crack a smile?”

“It’s a soft mask, mainly for hydration. I’m not used to having someone with me when I do my night routine. So you better feel honored for having been granted this opportunity.” 

G sat up straight and solemnly did a half bow. “Thank you for this kindness, your grace.”

There was a moment of silence. Mew and G looked at each other, wondering if they were thinking the same thing.

“She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’s Miss United States.” They quoted at the same time. 

Laughing in delighted surprise, G gasped in between bouts of ha-has “I can’t believe you also thought of Miss Congeniality. Not planned though, I swear.”

Mew was also laughing and a bit of the goop on his face fell to the ground. G managed to get his facial muscles under control and deadpanned, “This would be less funny if it’s a hard mask.” That cracked both of them up all over again. Eventually, Mew went back to the bathroom to wash the mask off and came back to clean up the floor. “Well that was a wasted round, I’ll try again tomorrow, and let’s see what happens if we try to put it on you. It’ll likely just slide off immediately.” Once again, that seemed to tickle them both. 

Finally, they were ready to call it a night, Mew snuggled under the covers on his end of the bed, then he looked towards G who was content to lounge over the covers, “could you get up for a while and we’ll see if you can come under the covers too?”

“Ah, that’s ok P’Mew, I’m quite comfortable this way.”

“Just try and see please, want you to feel more comfortable, but you can sleep on top of it if it’s better for you.” Mew cajoled sweetly. 

G pretended to grumble, but the smile on his lips gave him away. Getting up, he allowed Mew to pull back the covers before settling back down. Mew laid the covers over him and he felt snug and safe, and the covers rested nicely over him without feeling too strange.

Trying to face Mew, G gave a soft smile, “ok, you were right. Let’s try and get some sleep now? It’s actually been a very long day.”

Mew smiled back before turning to his side of the bed to turn off the lights. Then turning back to face G, the moonlight streaming into the room illuminating enough for him to continue looking at G as his eyelids became heavier and finally succumbed to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Mew woke up to a slight tingling feeling on the right side of his body. Blearily opening his eyes, Mew turned his head to see a tousled head of hair on his shoulder. Slowly events from the past day came rushing back to him. During the night the two of them had gravitated closer towards each other, and currently, G was still asleep and sprawled across his body, his right hand tucked between his own chin and the side of Mew’s chest. 

Minus the strange electric feeling running up and down that side of his body, this was the perfect way to wake up, Mew thought. 

“I can hear you thinking from here.” G said softly. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” surprise colored Mew’s tone. He kept his arm around G though, no intention of moving for the moment. 

“Yeah it was a strange experience for me last night, oh you were having a bad dream I think, I tried to wake you but you reached out for me and we ended up in this position. I haven’t moved since, because that seemed to calm you and it was also comfortable, yet strange but comfortable for me.” 

“Oops, sorry. Well, yes I’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable, but after hearing that you’re comfortable, then I’m not that sorry after all.” Mew decided to be straight-forward. “That was a lot of ‘comfortables’ in one morning, it’s a comfortable morning.” Mew snickered at his own comment. Eyes closed now against the light that streamed into the room.

“How did you pass the night?” Mew’s breath drifted above G’s ear.

G was silent for a moment. “I’m not too sure exactly, too. It’s like the time that I spend with you is keeping me grounded to the here and now, and when you fell asleep, I was still conscious that I was awake and that I had no concept of time. There were no thoughts or anything else. I could feel your presence by my side and the next thing I knew, the sun was up and you were awake, and then time seemed normal for me again. Well, ‘normal’ now seems relative. But I think that was how the previous night seemed to me as well, it just passed and the next thing I knew, you found me.”

Mew mused, ”come to think of it, I can’t believe that it’s only been one day since everything’s happened.”

“Me neither.” G shifted to tilt his head on Mew’s shoulder, allowing himself the luxury to enjoy the sleepiness on P’Mew’s face.

“I can feel you staring.” Lips curled in a gentle smile, Mew scrunched his nose as he forced his heavy eyelids to lift.   
G scrunched up his nose. “Let’s get up or else you’re going to lie here the whole day.”

Rubbing his left hand across his face, Mew let out a low whine but pushed back the duvet. “Ok, ok I’m up! Then I will have some breakfast and maybe get some fresh air in my lungs. Sounds good?”

When they both finally came out of the room, they heard the sounds of the tv in the living room, and the scent of fresh toast waffled out to greet them as they made their way to the boys. 

Sitting on the island, Saint swung his legs from side to side as he face-timed with Zee. He looked up as Mew and G approached him. “Hey, guys!” Waving, he turned his camera to Mew. Mew waved back and left them to catch up while he walked over to join Tul on the sofa. 

A bowl of strawberries was well-balanced on Tul’s tight abs. “Morning sleeping beauties. Mew, you’re really living the life here, two days of prepared breakfast for you when you wake up.” Tul teased. 

“I wasn’t expecting you guys to wake up so early on vacation, it’s not even eight-thirty in the morning yet.” Mew glanced at the clock to confirm the time. “But ok, fair enough, I’ll prepare breakfast tomorrow.”

Nodding solemnly, Tul pretended to think, “hmmm, a nice big breakfast with waffles, fruits, maybe some local Thai desserts will be nice.” Mew just laughed and pushed his head lightly, “do you think you’ve got some Michelin-star chef here?”

“Nah, not expecting Michelin level stuff, but our local Thai chef, yes.” Tul joked. Carefully placing the bowl of strawberries on the table, Tul sat up and looked at the space beside G and then looking back with uncertainty at Mew, who understood that he was silently checking that G was indeed seated beside him. Mew responded in kind with a subtle nod. 

“Hey G, I just realized that we might have come off as rude to you, and I want to apologize because we didn’t know how to deal with it properly yesterday. So it’s a little late, but I just wanted to introduce myself properly, and, erm, since I can’t see you I’m just going to extend my hand for you to shake ok?”

Mew replied affirmatively on behalf of G, who was smiling shyly at the way Tul offered the olive branch. 

Tul felt a little self-conscious leaving his hand extended in mid-air, he cleared his throat, unsure if he should retract his hand already, when he felt it. A weird feeling bordering between firm and illusionary. A dull electricity-like tingle running up his arm. Unprepared for that Tul jumped in surprise, yet being mindful of not jerking in hand back. Immediately, the tingle stopped and Tul knew G had retracted his hand. Eyes wide with surprise, Tul looked between Mew and the space where he assumed G was. Mew was tense for a moment, worried about what Tul would say as he had the least brain-to-mouth filter amongst the boys. 

“That.. that was cool! Hey G, can you touch my neck?” Tul asked excitedly. Mew let out an incredulous laugh, also relaxing when he heard G’s giggle and saw that G had leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs. Reaching over to Tul, Mew delivered a light smack to his head. “Ouch, what’s that for?” Tul whined. 

“Why are you asking him to touch your neck? Wasn’t it enough he shook your hand?”

Tul drew his head back, eyes narrowed as he thought of something. “Excuse me, Mr. Suppapossessive. Are you jealous?”

“No.” Mew replied with a calm expression, yet internally he could feel, indeed, he was feeling strangely possessive. “It’s just unnecessary.” 

“Unnecessary… right. But c’mon, let him try, for science, please?” Tul pouted. Before he could turn his puppy-eyes on, Saint joined them and took a seat beside Tul just to be safe, as any area beside Mew is free estate for G. 

“Saint! You need to shake G’s hand!” Tul said excitedly gesturing to where G was sat, anticipating Saint’s reaction and already starting to forget about his request. 

Saint raised an eyebrow. “Sure, but, Tul what’s got you all excited for? You’re up to something.”

Raising his hands, Tul retorted, “You’ve got such poor judgment when it comes to me. No tricks up my sleeve. I promise. Just introduce yourself to G.” Saint still gave him a look filled with distrust but turned to Mew and G nonetheless. Waving to the space beside Mew, Saint extended his hand, “hey G, so sorry we didn’t get to pr- oh!”

Like Tul, Saint felt the same tingle running up his arm, he also did not retract his hand, but when he felt that G had retracted his hand, Saint’s rubbed his fingers against his palm and shook his hand out. “That was cool!” Looking at his hand again, Saint rested it on his thigh and looked up at the boys. 

Tul’s face fell in disappointment. “Why were you so calm?” 

“You idiot, I was expecting some sort of feeling, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. Everything is made of matter anyway, so there’s bound to be something.”

“Oh, yeah that makes sense. It’s like air, yeah? You can see if but you can feel it when there’s a breeze or when something upsets the molecular balance in the room. Pretty neat if you think about that!”

Mew watched his friends banter, feeling happy and relaxed that they took it all in stride. Without much thought, he reached over and placed his hand on G’s knee. Turning to look at G with a reassuring smile. G was also watching the boys’ discussion about science with bright eyes. A sense of calm and peace blanketing the room, warming the hearts of the four.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that morning, all four of them decided to head down to Wat Pha Lat.   
Tul wanted to hike up the Pilgrim's Path to the temple, and they agreed that they would prefer to go to place with fewer tourists.  
The temple was on the opposite end of the Old City, so it took them about an hour and a half before they arrived at their destination. 

The air was fresh, and nature was undisturbed as they began their hike up the trail. They were content to hike up mainly in silence as the nature around them seemed to call on a sense of reverence and instill calm within their hearts.   
The path looked like nature carved out the route for them. Along the route, where there were slopes, thick tree routes ran horizontally to the path, creating what seemed like broad steps for them to navigate the slopes. At one point, the boys came across a small stream that started to broaden as they trekked further up the trail.   
About mid-way up, there was a ledge and a group of monks rested by the stream. The boys respectfully bowed a _wai_ to the monks, thumbs touching their eyebrows as they delivered the respectful greeting.   
Then carrying on their way to the temple which was not far from the ledge. 

It was mid-day by the time they arrived, and the heat and humidity had turned all of them (well, except G) into a sweaty mess. Mew was glad that he had the foresight to have all of them bring extra clothes to leave in the car so that they could have a comfortable journey home after the hike.

An ethereal atmosphere hung over the temple grounds, stronger than when they first embarked on the trek. Beautiful architecture and sculptures such as the Buddha's statue and pagoda graced the grounds. 

G had been silent the whole hike up. Peace and contentment expressed on his face. Standing in front of one of the various Buddha statues, G turned to Mew and said in a low reverent tone. “Did you know, Wat Pha Lat was originally a resting place for monks during their pilgrimage to the Doi Suthep, but after the road was built in ‘35, Wat Pha Lat became a meditation site for monks. So you can feel that the air is filled with true Buddhist silence and peace.” Mew listened attentively as they moved further onto the temple grounds. 

They stayed for about two to three hours, lingering in the gardens and exploring the old buildings and temples. Occasionally coming across several monks. With deep peace and contentment etched in their hearts, they decided to head back to the Old Town for lunch before heading back to the Villa for a late afternoon swim. 

In the car, on the way home, Tul and Saint had fallen asleep in the backseat. G reached over the console, and even though he knew that no one else could see him, he still felt shy to reach out to Mew. However he figured that Mew would be fine with it since he seemed to be more of a tactile person. 

Beside him, Mew tried to keep his breathing even when he saw G’s movement from the corner of his eye. With the familiar zap when G rested his hand on Mew’s, G opened. “P’Mew, thanks for bringing me there today, somehow being there gave me a sense of familiarity and it also helped me to calm my heart.” 

“You don’t have to thank me for that.” Turning his hand so that they were palm to palm, Mew continued, “I was also very happy to be there with you. It was a nice way to spend the day.”

When they arrived at the Villa, the afternoon sun had warmed the pool. The boys changed into their swimming shorts, excited to dip into the water. The golden hue of the sun bounced off the surface of the water, breaking up into sheds of light when Tul cannon-balled into the pool. Saint sat at the edge of the pool and pushed himself gracefully in. When Mew and G emerged from their veranda, they were greeted with the sight of the Tul and Saint trying to water smash each other. 

“G, do you think you can enter the pool?” Mew asked curiously.

“I’m not sure, but it’ll be nice to try and see what happens since it’s definitely different from standing under the shower considering that we’re talking about a body of water here.”

Mew nodded and stood watching as G walked to the edge of the pool. When G tried to dip his feet into the pool, it seemed like he sank into the water an inch or two, before the liquid molecules rolled off and returned to the rest of the water body beneath his foot. 

Turning back to Mew, G smiled mischievously, determined not to let this bring his good mood down. “Ok, mystery solved, I can’t go into the water, but hey, good news, I can try walking on water now.” 

Mew could tell from the overly bright tone that G was trying to be positive about this. He felt like he’s known G for much longer than the 2 full days they’ve spent together and he didn’t even know when he had started paying so much attention to all the nuances and inflictions in G’s voice. Well, to be honest with himself, he thought ruefully, it was already this way since the first moment G spoke to him. The boys had it right. Maybe instead of Suppapossessive, he should also add another one in. Suppawhipped. 

Shaking off his reverie, Mew walked towards G, “well you can see if you could do a catwalk out here, give me a show better than David Blaine,” referring to the American Magician who also had an episode where he walked on water. G’s eyes crinkled at the corner when he grinned. 

“Ah man, that would have been cool if we could see G walking on water.” Tul’s voice cut through the bubble that Mew and G always seemed to build around themselves. 

Mew and G turned to see Tul and Saint at the edge of the pool, just beside them. “Damn Tul, couldn’t you have brought that up when they’re not lost in their world?” Saint was resting his chin on folded arms as he turned his sight to Tul, giving him a glare. 

Pushing himself out of the water, Tul sat at the pool’s edge and lazy splashed water into Saint’s face in retaliation. “Why? They know that we’re here, so we can also participate in their conversation.”

“Urgh, you won’t get it.” Saint rolled his eyes. “Anyway Mew, come on into the water, it's such a nice temperature as well.”

Smiling mischievously, Mew took a couple of steps back and picked up his pace as he, too, cannon-balled into the pool. Splashing water into Saint and Tul’s faces. The four broke into peals of water as Saint and Tul tried to retaliate, Mew immediately maneuvered himself to stand behind G so that most of the droplets of water would not hit him. 

G was laughing and trying to push Mew away from his legs. Failing to do so, he lost his balance and fell onto his bum, allowing Mew to have an even broader range of coverage from the barrage of splashes. 

Laughter rang out across the hillside as the boys fooled around under the setting sun. The entire landscape covered in a magnificent golden tint, signaling the end of the day.


	10. Falling For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Listen to [Fallingforyou by The1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JJxS0gNkE))

That night, as Mew and G cuddled under the covers, Mew decided to be straightforward with his thoughts. 

They were both lying on their backs, Mew had an arm casually thrown over his head, while G lay with the duvet pulled up to his chin, Mew’s brilliant idea of babying him, of course. 

“G, look I just want to let you know that… I’m glad I met you and had the chance to get to know you, even though it's under such strange circumstances. To be honest, I feel like I’ve known you for much longer. It actually feels good, how you just merged into my life like that. It just feels like, ‘it is what it is’ you know? Nothing to overthink or to overanalyze.” 

G hummed in agreement. Turning his head to look at Mew, G decided to voice out what’s been weighing on his mind.  
“P… What if…” Licking his lips that suddenly felt dry, G’s felt his confidence waver and the fear settling coldly in his bones. Mew had shifted to face G directly, patiently waiting for him to come to terms with his thoughts. 

The calmness and attentiveness in his gaze gave G the courage to trudge on. It made him feel like Mew would wait for him, no matter how long he took. Even now there was no trace of impatience, as time dragged on becoming inconsequential. The space that made the room, cushioned and absorbed the building tension arising within G. On a soft exhale, G’s voice trembled on the first note, “ i-if… I’m d- not alive. If I’m not a person. Or all of this is a fever dream that I can’t wake up from, but even if it is so… I feel like I don’t want to wake up from this P.” G took a deep breath in, suddenly conscious of how his lungs felt like he didn’t need the influx of oxygen. 

Mew nodded in contemplation, he too, had thought about it and knew that he had been putting off the inevitable, putting off the questions, putting off the fear. As if procrastination could solve the growing trepidation that he could lose G as suddenly as he had found him.

The silence expanded on a sigh, strangely comforting, even as the unspoken words and apprehension that lingered in the air dissipated slowly as the two boys breathed each other in, unwilling to vocalize the thoughts that would force them to face their fears. 

The night stretched on, as sounds of the crickets out in the fields seeped into the room, a gentle breeze coming in through the open veranda panels and ruffled the dark curtains. 

At some point, Mew had reached over to stroke G’s hair, gently sweeping it away from his forehead. Clearing his throat softly, Mew finally picked up where they left off, going with the route of honesty being the best policy, “I have thought about the ‘what-if’s and ‘what-could-be’s. I know that I have also been putting off the inevitable, we still need to look into your past, and I’m sorry because I feel like I’ve been selfish. Wanting the time with you, wanting to know you more, yet knowing that… there is a possibility I might lose you as easily and quickly as I found you.” G stayed silent, but he had snuggled closer to Mew. 

Mew took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. His heart clenched at the thought of not having G in his life. 

“I know that nothing about this situation is normal. Yet it feels normal to me. It feels like you’ve filled a hole in my heart that no one else could.” 

Ok, that was not what he wanted to let out, but then again, he did decide to go with full disclosure as he’d rather regret saying something than not saying anything at all.  
Because he knew that, no matter how much he could try to fix this in the future, as long as G was not in it, there would be no way to come back to this moment and undo this regret. 

G head jerked back in surprise during Mew’s confession. Could it be classified as a confession even? 

Ok, they’re talking about this, he can work with that.

“I feel safe with you P’. It’s probably strange that I’m not freaking out more, given the circumstances, but I feel safe with you. And somehow… I- It…” G took another deep breath. “...it scares me a little that I’m _more_ afraid of losing this, than being afraid of knowing what happened to me, of uncovering my memories, or even of what’s going to happen next.”  
A tear fell on his cheek, unnoticed. His breath hitching and chest clenching with ghost-like pain and heartache. 

He let out a small laugh tinged with an edge of hysteria. 

“I also just met you for god’s sake. Yet I can’t even explain how I feel. It’s crazy how it just fits for me. But I don’t know where I came from, where I am going, and it really should scare me more, but it doesn’t. I’m afraid though, that tomorrow I will wake up from whatever this is, and it’ll all be gone. Crazy huh? It’s only been what? 48 hours but it sure feels like it’s been a lot longer.”

“Yeah, for sure it feels like I’ve known you for a much longer period of time. Yet it feels like at this stage, time and reality are subjective you know? Like there is no other construct other than what we assign it to, in the here and now. Ok I’m talking about this in a way that is taking away the constructs of science and the laws of the universe as we know it. But it just feels like we build our reality to what we want it to be. Right now, all I know is that I want my reality to have you in it, in whichever form we make of it.” Mew had turned to his side, pillowing his right arm beneath his head as he finally revealed what he'd been afraid of all this time. 

“I’m falling for you G. Or have fallen for you.” 

Mew knew that the boys had been keeping an eye on him, worried that exactly this will happen and that they would have to pick up the pieces should anything happen again.  
Mew was also so aware that when he falls for someone, he falls hard and fast. Yet, perhaps this time around, because circumstances were so different, although he knew that he had to keep his guard up, frankly, he never stood a chance from the first time he saw G lying on that hill. 

G had reached up to cover his face with his hands, yet Mew could see that the tips of G’s ears had slowly turned red after his frank confession.  
Taking a deep breath, G lowered his hands and turned to Mew. Eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“I think I’ve fallen for you too, probably from the moment I saw you standing there, and I’m just going to cherish the time I have with you.”

They let out tremulous breaths. Mew felt the space in his chest blossom and grow. Feeling the absence of numbness that’s been there for years. “So… we both really went there huh. A full-bodied human, and a non-bodied human.” Bright eyes crinkled into laugh lines as G reached over and flicked him on his nose. 

“That’s discrimination. I object to that!” The ear-splitting grin he had on his face, however, contradicted the indignation he tried to inject into his tone. 

(a/n: I'm picturing the scene panning back and out, as we leave the two of them to their lovey-dovey moments.)

**Curtains Rise:**  
_Chopper’s Live Play_

In the heart of Bangkok a white and brown dog lay sound asleep on his back. Little paws kicking out in his sleep as he dreamt that he was running around in a big grassy field: 

A gentle breeze carrying the scent of the slightly-sweet dewy smell of grass and flowers, drifted through the clearing. A white fluffy tail popped up over the tops of the calf-high grass, followed by a fluffy pair of ears - tinged pink in the center - bounding from spot to spot. 

Barking happily, Chopper gave chase, his short legs pumping at their maximum speed as he chased the rabbits around. 

“Chopper!” 

Hearing a familiar voice calling out to him, Chopper stopped his chase and ran towards the voice of his most-beloved-person-in-the-world.  
Coming to the edge of the clearing, Chopper slid to a stop mid-sprint as he saw that by the side of his most-beloved-person-in-the-world, there was someone he didn't recognize. 

Growling low and possessively in his throat, Chopper tried to make himself look like a big menacing dog, the guy standing beside his person looked taken aback for a moment. 

Then he laughed out loud in delight. Chopper stopped growling. Taking offense that his threat was not taken seriously. B-but… That guy’s laughter sounded warm and comforting. 

He wanted to hear it again!  
He planned an attack and launched towards him, causing the guy to yelp in surprise, but breaking out in peals of laughter again when Chopper reached him, leaped up, and tried to lick his hand with every leap. 

“I’ve never seen him react this way to anyone before. Usually he takes a long time to warm up to people.” 

Chopper turned to his person. Wow, rude much to talk about him in front of him, as if he didn’t understand what he was saying? 

Take that! Chopper rushed to his person and chomped down on his foot.  
Before flopping on the ground and exposing his tummy to receive an apology rub. 

_End of Chopper’s Live Play._  
**Curtains Fall.**


	11. Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen to [Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2LQdh42neg)

G lay in contemplative silence as the night carried on. 

P’Mew had fallen asleep some time ago. His soft snuffles and occasional mumbles endearing him to him even more. He thought back to the conversations over the past days, sometimes trying to slow the frames replaying in his mind so that he can burn the images into his head.   
He was so afraid that like everything else, he might also start to forget P’Mew. Even though he had no inkling of his past, he had a very strong feeling that no-one mattered this much to him before, that what he has now, sleeping soundly by his side, is the most important thing he has to treasure. 

Lost in his thoughts, it felt like only minutes had gone by when the amber rays of the morning sun started to cast the room in a gentle glow.   
He looked at the landscape sprawled out in front of him, coming into focus and stretching out as far as the eye can see as the sun began its ascent into the sky. 

The bed shifted as Mew changed his position, waking up slow and lazy. Memories of last night’s conversation came floating back to his mind in bits and pieces.   
Lips curling in a smile, Mew turned on his side to face G and opened his eyes to the wondrous sight of G looking at him with a sweet smile.

“Good morning.” They said it at the same time. Breaking into small giggles.   
Enamored in their newfound knowledge of each other’s feelings towards each other. 

Tracing his eyes over G’s delicate features, Mew couldn’t help but marvel at how cute and good looking G was. 

A sudden thought occurred to him and he snickered. 

“What’s so funny?” G's voice was sweet and laced with nothing but fond. 

“If you were a vegetable, do you know what vegetable you’d be?” Mew asked, a goofy smile lighting his face. 

“I don’t know? Kale?” 

“Why kale? But no, you’d be a cutecumber.” Mew snickered as he watched G snort out a laugh. 

“That was so bad P'Mew. What in the world.” 

“But you laughed! Fine, one-up me on that then.” Mew challenged as he reached over to stroke G’s hair away from his forehead. 

G bit his lip. Brows furrowed in concentration.   
Letting out a sigh, G turned to look out the window, eyes squinting against the morning light. Instinctively Mew reached out to shield G from the bright glare of the sun. 

“Oh. Are you the sun?” G asked Mew. 

“Huh?” 

“You’re so beautiful you’re blinding me.” G broke into a huge grin when he realized he caught Mew off-guard. 

“Hey, you used my innate ‘nice-ness’ against pull that one off!” Mew joked.

They spent the rest of their time trying to up each other with cheesy pick-up lines whilst trying to distract the other before dropping their lines. 

By the time they were ready to leave their room, Mew figured that it was about time that the boys would start waking up. He wanted to continue lazing in bed with G, but G managed to cajole and hustle him into the kitchen. “P, you promised you would prepare breakfast for them. Come on now, let’s go, and hey, you want to know something?”

“Hmm?”

“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

“Oh my god G, stop already.” Mew’s face was scrunched up in laughter, hands splayed on his hips as he stood in place for a moment before pulling G to the kitchen.

G grinned, it was fun to get lost in how P'Mew looked with that expression of unrestrained happiness and to hear the sound of his warm laughter.

\---

Eventually, when Tul came down the stairs - lured by the scent of freshly brewed coffee - rubbing the residual sleep from his eyes, he saw that breakfast was served.  
And what a spread it was: Grilled cheese sandwiches, ham, egg, and cheese artfully arranged on a platter, a bowl of fruit salsa with cinnamon crisps lay right in the middle of the spread, and there was also a plate of hash browns just off the side, together with cereals and a jug of fresh milk.

Rubbing his palm against his abs, Tul turned to see Mew preparing yet another dish in the kitchen. His eyes crinkled in laughter and his hair mused, with a smudge of what looked like cinnamon powder, on the side of his face. A soft smile graced Tul’s face, who was content to stand there and see the happiness emanating from his friend. Albeit he did feel a bit strange to see him bantering and waving his hands over an empty space, but knowing that G was there lessened the weirdness of the situation. 

“Mor- oof.” He was about to call out to Mew and G when a warm body bumped into him from behind. 

“Morning guys!” A chirpy Saint stood on the last step, a head taller than Tul, and draping himself lazily on Tul’s back. 

“Some warning would be nice,” Tul couldn’t help but laugh. Some things never changed even after all this time. “But yeah, good morning, thanks for the spread! Let’s see what we got here.” Saying so he moved towards the table, carrying half of Saint’s weight with him. 

“Get off, you goof! You’re not as light as you used to be.” Tul complained as he reached out to snag a blueberry from the fruit bowl. 

Mew turned to them, a spatula in his hand, “morning! Start digging in, I’m going to finish up with the scrambled eggs here and I’ll bring them to you.”

Beside him, G leaned against the stove, looking impeccable as always, especially in comparison to the mess that is now Mew, and quipped, “so… how do you like your eggs in the morning?” 

Eyes twinkling in mirth as Mew burst out laughing and went, “oh my god G, that’s an overused one! Are you offering?”

At the table, Saint groaned, “did G just ask you how you like your eggs in the morning? Spare us the details please, we don’t need to know Mew.”

Tul looked up in surprise in the midst of stuffing a strawberry into his mouth. “Wait, you can hear him?” 

Saint rolled his eyes. “No, but it is not hard to guess since Mew is cooking eggs now, what other lines can be used?” 

Chortling, Mew nodded his head, “true, true. Ok, tadam! Here are your eggs!”   
He came around to the table and served the freshly cooked scrambled eggs.   
Before heading back to the kitchen, where G still stood with his hip propped against the counter, lips quirked into a smirk. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, just going to clean this up and I’ll join you guys.”


	12. Chapter 12

Breakfast was a lively affair, and after everyone was satiated, and everything was cleared away, the boys sank into a puppy pile in the living room.   
Snacks were placed in bowls on the table, and Tul had also made another jug of fresh coconut juice. 

Kicking his feet up, Saint leaned back and put on [The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wrsZog8qXg). The boys had their laptops on their laps and the mood settled down comfortably. The late morning sun streaming into the open space and a cool breeze freshened the air in the house. 

“Really? At this hour? Are you bringing on the nostalgia?” 

“Hey~!” Saint protested, “the beat is good, ok, just shut it and let me enjoy the beat. Also, it helps me to focus now.” 

Beside Mew, G reclined on the sofa, his head bopping to the beat. Mew was experiencing the beginning stages of a food-coma and was feeling a little drowsy, seeing how cute G looked, he couldn’t keep the fond smile off his face, and reached over to bop G on the nose. 

Adjacent to them, Saint and Tul just exchanged a smug look when they caught Mew’s expression. It really was good to see Mew slowly opening up after all these years.   
They knew that he had closed himself off slowly, since experiencing one painful relationship after another.   
Although it was still a little disconcerting to see him interacting with air, knowing G was really there took away most of the weirdness. 

“Ok let’s do some sleuthing!” Tul cackled. 

“Who uses the word ‘sleuthing’ anymore?” Saint mocked. “So G… is there anything that seems familiar to you in this area, or anything that you’ve thought of that might ring a bell?... We did a little bit of research on your condition, Tul here even used _Invisible Man_ as a reference but all the information we found were not particularly relevant, like in a scientific article - it's amazing what you can find online apart from all the ghostlore, and movies - anyway I digressed, sorry. So possible scientific explanations were 'low-frequency sound, mold, carbon monoxide, the power of suggestion, drafts, and the psychological approach that we enjoy being afraid. As entertaining as these are, I'm pretty sure you're none of the above, so that really makes you one of a kind G! So that's quite cool-"

The conversation quickly took on discussions about the research and possibility causes and cures, before the boys finally delved into G'd background. However, an hour into that search, they turned up with no information. No articles of accidents, missing persons, etc. in the area. They decided not to delve into social media since they couldn't possibly scroll through all the ‘G’s that fit G’s approximate age range, would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. The boys wanted to keep searching but they did not have much to go on, and eventually, they decided to drop the search for time being, unless G could recall any other new detail that has not surfaced so far. 

Unanimously, they decided to take a break. Mew conveying G’s appreciation to the guys for their attempt to help, and the apologies he had that he could not provide more information. Tul and Saint both reassured G multiple times before G could temp down remaining tendrils of guilt. 

“I want to go for a walk, G with me?” Mew quirked his lips at G, to which G responded affirmatively with an equally fond smile. “Do you guys want to come with?”

Tul was pulling out his phone, in the middle of dialing Max. “I’ll pass, I want to- Babe missed me?” Tul broke off mid-sentence when Max answered. His tone turning syrupy-sweet as Max indulged his boy,” yes baby missed you. Want to k-”, he broke off as Saint deliberately walked behind where Tul was sat, ensuring that he was caught on camera before the two slipped off into their mating ritual. “Oh hey, Saint! Is Mew there too? And G?” Max immediately switched out of his deep timber reserved for Tul, to his normal bubbly self. 

Mew walked over to wave and say hi before shoo-ing them off for their private call. Saint just shook his head, grabbed an extra pitcher of coconut water and made his way back to his spot on the sofa. “I’ll pass,” he replied belatedly, “I need to respond to a few emails that my manager has been sending me. There are some new roles that he wants me to consider auditioning for. You guys have fun! Don’t do anything I won’t!” 

Mew placed his hand on G’s lower back, turning them to the door. “Is there anything you wouldn’t do? Ok then, we’re off, see you later.” He threw over his shoulder as they left the house. 

The moment they were out in nature, G heaved a weary sigh. Rubbing a hand across his face, he stopped in his tracks. Tracking his motions, Mew did the same too. 

Waiting for G to share what was on his mind, Mew silently indicated that they take a seat on the side of a slope, away from the main walking path. They found a shady spot, and leaned their backs against the broad tree trunk, legs outstretched in front of them. Shortly after, G turned his body to the side and lay his head on Mew’s lap. It was so natural, and he didn’t think about his actions until he found himself looking up at the underside of P’Mew’s jawline. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t ask. Is this ok?”

Mew heart had skipped a beat at G’s action. Happy that G could let his guard down so much with him. “More than ok, G.”

A gentle breeze brought some reprieve to the midday heat. Clouds continued drifting across the bright blue sky.   
The leaves on the trees rustled in the wind.

Finally, after a time, G softly explained what he was feeling.

“P’Mew. You and your friends have been really good to me. All of you don’t even know me that well - well you probably know me as much as I know myself now - but your friends… I- words aren't enough to express what I feel. I felt so bad that all of you were trying so many ways to help me, and I- I’m so useless.”

“You’re too hard on yourself G, say you were to put yourself in someone else's shoes. So, for example, I got into an accident and lost my memories, would you be disappointed in me if I kept trying to regain my memories, but I simply can’t?”

“Of course not!” G immediately denied vehemently, pushing himself up and away from his comfortable spot. “It’s not your fault and it will probably be more scary and confusing for you. If anyway dares to blame you for not being able to, I’d gladly sock them in the eye.” Chest heaving with agitation and hands balled in fists, G missed the gentle, amused look that Mew was giving him. 

“Uh-huh.” Mew simply said. 

“What?” 

Turning to Mew, G finally noticed the way Mew was looking at him. It took him a while to connect the words he just spewed and Mew’s reaction. 

“Oh.” 

“Yes. Oh.” Laughing, Mew tugged at a lock of G’s hair. “Come back here.”

Flustered, G submitted easily.   
“Ok, I get where you’re coming from. It’s just… It’s hard to deal with these emotions and it’s hard to deal with the fact that I can’t even help myself to help myself.” 

“I know G. We all do, in fact. So no one is blaming you, and if you can try, please try to tell me whenever the doubts start to eat at you, or when you start to feel like you’re losing yourself all over again. You’re not alone in this and you don’t have to be alone in this ok.” Softness and a tinge of sadness laced through his words. 

Looking up at Mew, G gently placed his hand on Mew’s cheek and subtly prompted Mew to look at him.   
A hint of pain and nostalgia echoed in Mew’s beautiful eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

“P’Mew, do you want to talk about it?” G asked gently, shaking Mew out of his trip down memory lane, reminiscing the times when he felt like the world was against him, to the point where he had felt like giving up his life in Thailand to start anew somewhere else. But thank the gods above, he had pulled himself back from the edge quickly enough and reached out to his boys. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t have tried to pursue all that he is working towards now, and he would never have had the chance to meet his G.

Mew stroked his hand down G’s hair. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it later. For now, let’s just enjoy the here and now alright?”

They sat there in companionable silence.   
Enjoying the fresh, cool air from the valley as the heat of the sun beat down on them. 

A flock of birds flew overhead, Mew shielded his eyes as he squinted up at the sky. “I forgot my camera, but perhaps this is fine too, sometimes, somethings are meant to just be felt and remembered.” 

G hummed, feeling languid and loving the sound of P’Mew’s voice. 

“Have you had many moments where there was something really beautiful in front of you, and you decided not to capture it on film?” G asked, eyes still closed, face upturned. You make such a pretty picture G, and you don’t even know it. Mew thought ruefully to himself.

“I’ve probably had this a few times. Or sometimes, I would just capture the moment for keepsake and just leave it in its raw state, I’d choose to develop and edit all the other pictures save for that. It’s like that feeling you get when you look out at a dessert and there’s a beauty to it that you can’t describe because of the feeling that somewhere in the dunes lie a treasure that’s not meant to be exposed to the rest of the world. An oasis that is hidden from sight, but it’s presence pulses through the desert. It’s the same with these little snippets. And that makes my darkroom seem even more special to me because I know that somewhere are specific, special moments, ingrained in my heart, and also holds a space of its own within me...”

“...Ah, sorry I feel like I rambled on a little too much.” Mew said sheepishly. 

At some point during Mew’s explanation, which he found was really cute, ok, G had opened his eyes to take in the sight of P’Mew’s expression, full of light and passion as he talked about the things that matter to him. 

“I love hearing you talk about the things you love P’. Don’t stop.” G closed his eyes again, the image of Mew’s gorgeous face etched behind his eyelids. Snuggling in a little closer, G snuffled a bit. “If there is one thing you can do now, what would it be?” 

“What do you mean?” Mew loved how G curled himself into a smaller ball, all pressed up against him.   
“Hmm, we’re living in the here and now, and if you could do one thing, anything, at this moment what would you like to do?”

To kiss you.

The thought that popped into his mind startled him. Before he could let himself dwell on it further. He went for the next safest thing that popped into his mind. “It would be nice to sing, probably with guitar accompaniment.”

“I think you would sing very beautifully P’. You have a lovely voice.” G smiled. “Can you sing something for me?”

“I hope I don’t disappoint,” Mew said fondly. 

“You’ll never.” G shook his head with conviction. The absolute faith in his tone surprised Mew. 

“Where did this conviction come from?”

G finally opened his eyes again and replied with a tinge of sass. It was a good look on him. “Didn’t you hear when I told you earlier? I love your voice, so no matter what it’ll only be a gift to my ears.”

[Hold Me Tightt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaVVjoDp8kc)

Mew could feel his ears heat up. Shyness gripping him for a second. A song came to mind, and he started singing softly. The words welling up in his chest, much like a promise. G also seemed to be gripped by emotion as a teardrop leaked from the corner of his eye, catching on to his eyelashes before rolling off and disappearing upon contact with Mew’s shirt. 

When Mew finally finished the last verse, he realized that his eyes too were slightly damp. Blinking back those unshed tears he finally looked down and stared into G’s warm eyes. 

“That was beautiful, thank you.”

Mew used his knuckle to give G a small nose rub in response. 

Wrinkling his nose, G just laughed and made a move to sit up to turn and face Mew directly. 

“So, you liked it?” Mew joked, maybe, just maybe, fishing for yet another compliment.

Leaning forward, until their noses were almost touching, G gave Mew an Eskimo’s kiss, before pulling back a little. “Yeah, I like it.” Pausing, he added, “and I like you P’.”

Mew swallowed. Although they kind of talked about it briefly, this still hit differently as they are both wide awake, and out in the open where they can see each other’s expressions clearly.

“I like you too, G. Maybe a bit more than a lot,” Mew confessed in a low tone. 

Time stopped for a beat, then two. A shiver of breath passed between them. Silver of a smile, then a laugh, and time started moving again. 

“Alright, do you want to go on an adventure with me?” G asked, a bright twinkle in his eye.

Grinning, Mew responded, curiosity bubbling up within him. “Always.”


	14. Chapter 14

About thirty minutes from the villa, G and Mew came across a small creek, hidden behind the treeline.   
G had claimed that he didn’t know where he wanted to go and just left like walking in the opposite direction of the house. They'd gone towards the back of the hills which housed a small forested area, partially hidden from the road. 

Jumping over a low hedge overgrown with beautiful wildflowers, G turned around with a playful smile. 

“Coming?”

“This seems suspicious. Are you sure you’re not a vengeful spirit out to take your revenge on innocent by-standers like me, by luring me into the woods and then petrifying me into a tree or something?” Mew teased. 

G simply rolled his eyes, retorting, “you agreed to come along on an adventure with me, or would you like to change your mind now?” 

“Sassy, I like.” He leaned over the hedge and flicked G on the nose playfully. G grinned brightly and tugged on Mew’s sleeve, signaling for him to keep up. 

Mew vaulted over the shrubbery, looking up to catch the appreciative look in G’s eyes just before G quickly averted his gaze, embarrassed for having been caught openly appreciating P’Mew’s form. Feeling a little smug, Mew decided not to tease him about it. 

The crunch of leaves beneath Mew’s feet gave off a satisfying crunch with each step he took. 

The moment they were under the canopy of the trees, the bright sunlight filtered off, and gently shone through the gaps in the leaves overhead, casting the world around them in magical light.

Mew was overcome by an overwhelming urge to hold G’s hand, and at that moment, his brain-mouth filter switched off. 

“G… I’d like to hold your hand right now, may I?” Mew stopped in his tracks, and held his hand out, palm up, letting G make the decision. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, G reached out and linked their hands together, vaguely registering that their hands fit together like puzzle pieces. 

In comfortable silence, they continued their walk through the forest. Ears tinged red with shyness, the buzz of young love sizzling beneath their skins. 

G broke the silence when he picked up their game of 21 questions, which probably exceeded the stipulated ‘21’ by this point. “Would you rather have your home by the sea or in the mountains?”

Mew contemplated his answer for a moment. 

“By the sea. There, it feels like the world stretches out forever, you know? You can leave your thoughts and your worries at the shoreline. Feel grounded when you let your feet sink into the soft sand, and when you want to disappear for a bit, just dive into the warm waters. You’ll be in a different world - muted, and calm. At night, you can lay on the beach, that is still warm from the heat of the day, Listen to the sound of the waves, enjoy the fresh ocean air…”

He trailed off, his mind pulling up memories of his trip to the Maldives when he needed to get away from everything for a bit. 

There was a short silence as Mew lost himself in his thoughts. Bringing himself back into the present, he turned to look at G who had a reassuring smile on his face. “Do you want me to answer the same question? Or would you like to change the question?”

“Mmm, let’s go with the same question.”

“Okay, so for me… I think I would like to live in the mountains. I love how it makes me feel calm, and how it clears my mind. Whenever I want I can go for a hike into the woods, and explore every nook and cranny you know? It’s like… Going for an adventure. And at night, when we sleep under the stars, it’ll feel like we’re closer to the night sky.” G had such a peaceful expression on his face, with a hint of wistfulness in his eyes and once again Mew found himself capturing the moment in his heart. 

They continued on in relaxed silence, subconsciously walking towards the direction where the faint sound of trickling water drifted through the forest. Eventually arriving at a stream. Sunlight glinted off the surface of the water, as the clear waters meandered downhill, weaving between rocks and plants. 

A litter of rocks ran across the stream and G smiled impishly, one eyebrow raised in challenge before turning and hopping onto the rocks and getting to the other side. Since Mew was whipped, obviously he’d follow as well. A broad grin on his face, Mew watched as G found a nice spot on the other side to sit on. He hasn’t felt this light and carefree since… He can’t remember, but, well it’s been ages.

Slowly, amongst the sounds of nature, [an angelic tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fsZcUhCDpE) drifted to their ears. G sat up, entranced by the music. Mew followed suit. They looked at each other and simultaneously rose to make their way upstream, towards where the song was coming from. 

She sat crossed-legged across the banks, just away from the treeline and beside the creek. The sunlight glinting off the waters and off her flaxen hair gave her an ethereal feel. G felt drawn towards her and made a move to cross the stream, but Mew reached out to grab his arm, shaking his head 'no' when G turned to look at him in askance. Somehow G knew felt that P'Mew's 'no' was to refrain from intruding. 

At the moment, the angelic voice stopped, and the mysterious lady called out to them. “It’s ok, both of you can come over.” 

Her words did not immediately sink into their minds, and it was only when they had reached the other side, did Mew realize that she said ‘both’. 

After the exchange of customary greetings, Mew and G sat crossed-legged beside Enya. They sat in silence not knowing what to say and also in awe of the calmness and openness they felt, just by sitting in close proximity to her. 

“... I think I know why I felt called to come here to do my mediation today.” She said after a minute of silence. Her voice soothing and melodic. “I’m impressed that both of you are taking all this in stride, having someone tell you to join them and then just sitting in silence together without questioning it all.” She observed them for a moment before continuing, “like now, for example, where you’re just waiting to see what happens next.” 

She gave a lilting laugh and shook her head. “Amazing, the amount of affinity you have with the ways of the universe. At such a young age too, well, in these bodies, you are. But within you are your higher selves; old souls.”

G finally found his voice when she lapsed into silence again, “I- P’ can see me?” He didn’t know how to phrase his question and decided to just be frank.

Enya looked taken aback, before she took a closer look at G. “Why, yes I can. Ok let’s see… I was not expecting this. Alright, do you mind letting me feel for something? I’m going to place my palm facing up, and I would like you to place your hand above mine, starting from a distance where you can feel my energy field and then gradually closing the distance until your palm is on mine, ok?” 

G nodded. For some reason, he just felt so drawn and calm in her presence and he knew that it was the right thing to do. Turning to P’Mew who had a worried frown between his brows, P'Mew who had made no move to stop him, trusting him to his decision, G felt fondness rise within him. He reached out and gave his thigh a reassuring squeeze and smiled when P'Mew gave him his full attention.

Seeing G’s confidence, Mew felt the apprehension within him fade away. He smiled back reassuringly and watched as G brought his hand up above Enya’s, hovering a good ten centimeters away before slowly bringing his palm closer and closer until they were almost fully in contact. 

Enya had her eyes closed. Her free arm waving slightly in the air as she felt the vibrations and energy circulating around them. 

The atmosphere around them was calm, tranquil, yet energizing. Their breathing synchronizing as time seems to shift and wrap itself around them. Nature silent, save for the sound of the gurgling stream as if she too was anticipating what would happen next.


	15. Chapter 15

A gentle cooling breeze blew past, caressing the surface of the stream and creating little ripples and breaks in the otherwise smooth and clear surface. A breath passed, then two, and sounds of nature seeped in around them again.

Enya took in another three deep breaths, her face was bright with an inner light that seemed to shine through her. She opened her eyes and exhaled gently. 

“Amazing.” Was the first thing she said. Looking directly into G’s eyes, she measured him for a moment before turning to look Mew in the eyes. Addressing G again, Enya finally explained all that had just happened.

“Before I share, I just realized that I did not tell you what I was doing. I am an energy healer, and I do a lot of energy healing, cleansing and I work with herbs, essential oils, and all things natural. So while some might call me a white witch, which I don’t mind, the situation that the two of you are in is the first time I’ve come across this. No, I don’t have spells or magic up my sleeves, but I have certain gifts, one of them is connecting with people’s higher selves and transferring the messages that their mortal selves need to hear.”

Mew and G listened attentively and respectfully. Seeing that they had no questions for her yet, and they seemed genuinely at peace in all their states - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - with what she'd shared, Enya continued. 

“So from what I could tell, G, you seem to be trapped between two dimensions within the same physical world. You’re not dead, nor are you truly alive, which looking from the looks in your eyes, you’re both aware.” Mew and G both nodded. 

“Also, I cannot give you answers about what is the task you need to complete to cross over - either to the spirit world or back to the world of the living. But it was fate that brought the two of you together in whichever form you might take. You are both Twin Flames, and it was written in the stars that your lives are entwined in this lifetime. The journey for Twin Flames is usually fraught with many challenges and perils because they are the souls that will raise the vibration of the universe. The two of you will bring so much change in this world. Of course, seeing your unique situation, it seems like the challenges in store for you are mountainous. But if you get past this, the positive impact or the results of the two of you coming together, that you will bring to this world will be insurmountable. If you do forget anything I’ve shared today, you _must_ just remember one thing. The key to working anything out is _active communication_. Don’t forget.”

“This was probably an overload of information on your system. But I think it was something you needed to know, otherwise, we would not have met today. I’ll let your bodies process the information that your higher selves already know. But in the meantime, you need to head back soon, a storm is coming.” 

With that, Enya gave them a respectful wai which was reciprocated by the two boys who still had shell-shocked expressions on their faces and started packing her things up. Just as Enya was about to leave, Mew called out to her one last time. 

“P, thank you very much, we will keep your words in mind.” 

Enya turned to see the boys still sat in the clearing, hands entangled with each other as they waved with their opposite hands. Waving back, she weaved through the forest, leaving as silently as she’d arrived. 

Mew and G continued staying where they were by the stream long after Enya left. Both processing her words in their own way. Soon the sounds of thunder rumbling in the distance broke them out of their reflections. G turned to P’mew, “ P, that was really cool and it was reassuring in a way. I’m glad we came here today.” 

Looking into G’s bright eyes, Mew agreed. He reached up and thumbed at G’s upturned nose, “let’s go little grasshopper before I get caught in the rain.”

“Only you? I would get caught too!” G said with a laugh as he scrambled to get up and run after Mew who was ahead of him by a step. 

“You won’t get drenched, you don’t count.” Mew teased. Their laughter rang out in the forest, muffled by the sound of thunder yet again. Enya was right, they’d better make it home quickly. 

They were halfway en route back home when the skies decided not to wait for them any longer and released a heavy torrent of rain on the two fleeing figures.

\---

By the time they reached the street leading up to the villa, Mew was drenched to the skin. But he had a little secret. He’d gain some shelter from the unrelenting rain when G decided to be cheeky, ran up to him, and jumped onto his back. Water was repelled from his form and he had placed his hands over Mew’s eyes so that helped keep the rain out of his vision. 

“Why didn’t you do this earlier?” Mew shouted over the sound of the downpour. G’s voice was warm against his ear. “I didn’t think about it. Ahh, but this is comfortable, piggy-back me more often P’Mew.” 

“Demanding little fella.” Mew shot back, but definitely not minding it one bit. 

The boys were waiting anxiously at the kitchen window for their return, so when they saw Mew’s figure coming up the drive-way they ran up to the front door, waiting to pounce on him with fluffy towels. But when Tul threw his towel over to Mew, they found that it just hovered a head above Mew’s head.

Tul was the first to break the short stunned silence. “Oh hey G!” 

Saint followed suit and shoved the towel he was holding into Mew’s face. “You guys, or rather, Mr. Suppadrenched, can you dry yourself off before you fall sick? Plus you’re dripping water all over the ground!”

Mew grinned sheepishly. “Thanks, guys.” G had climbed off his back and Mew already missed the presence that was glued to his back. He started to towel himself off and noted that the boys had turned on the heating in the house too. 

G leaned against the island counter, “oh, by the way, P’Mew, you said you wanted to sing and play the guitar right?” 

Mew turned to G, “yup I did, this afternoon, but we didn’t bring our guitars here.”

G shrugged and nonchalantly replied, “oh yeah, but there’s one in storage, in the garage.”

“Cool! Thanks!” A sudden thought struck him, “wait, G how did you-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Saint came back to the kitchen, eyes glued to his mobile. “-Mild’s coming back tonight guys! He’s at the airport now and his plane will be taking off soon. So we’ll need to go and pick him up. He said he forgot to let us know prior to arriving at the airport as he’s been busy with some stuff.” 

The question Mew had in mind was forgotten as he headed to his bedroom, “ok, give me a few minutes, I’ll need a quick shower and then we’ll head to the airport.” 

Saint hummed affirmatively as he typed into the chat:

**Oh No Mew Suppawhipped?**

... older messages ...  
Tul: Whatever you say, honeybuns xx  
Saint: Tul! FGS! Can I go a day with you two flirting in front of my salad? Thnssss  
Max: Nop!  
Tul: Not a chance!

| Today |

Mild: GUYs!! I totally forgot to tell you I’m flying back, like now! Sorry!!   
Anyway, come fetch me pweaseee, the flight’s going to take off soon.   
Was too caught up with all the things for the family and stuff and totally forgot to text!  
Saint: You donkey! OFC we will come to pick you up just waiting for Mew to take a shower and we’ll be there within the hour.   
He went off with G today then it’s storming and they just got back. ANYWAYS updates later, safe flight bro.


	16. Chapter 16

The rain continued to drum a rhythm on the roof of the car. The evening sky and the streetlights complimenting each other beautifully with purple and golden hues. The thin blades of the falling rain muting the colors and making the world seem more intimate and cozy.

In the background, [ Unsteady by X Ambassadors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY) played softly in the background.

Soft snores emitted from the backseat. They had picked Mild up from the airport, and from the dark circles under his eyes, they deduced that the past 2 days must have been quite hectic for him. Sure enough, not long into the drive home, he had fallen asleep while Saint and Tul were in the midst of updating him on all that’s happened while he was away. Eventually, they too had fallen asleep in the back sleep, lured by the combination of Mild’s snores, the hypnotizing sound of the thunderstorm, and Mew’s choice in driving music. 

Currently, G was sitting sideways, legs curled beneath him and his cheek pillowed on his hand, they were discussing their favorite kinds of days. 

“... days when the sun is shining so brightly, the sky a beautiful bright blue, and the smell of Spring in the air. Those are the kind of days that make you feel so alive, where the shadows of the days past have no space in this place…” 

“Do you have a memory of such a day?” 

“I think so, it feels like a memory, yet so elusive, like a dream that I can't grasp. What about you P? What’s your favorite kind of day?”

“Days like this,” Mew responded, then stayed silent for a beat.

“Days when the violence of nature reminds you that it is ok to not be ok. That it is ok to cry and scream and let it all out. Because without thunderstorm days, you don’t appreciate sunshine days when the sun is out. Thunderstorms are wild and turbulent, yet there is a sense of calm below it, a kind of stillness that the human experience has no way to express it. While the same storm rages outside, some will experience exhilaration, others might experience fear, and yet there are others who might experience pain. However, like all things, it will also pass, and then there will be peace and that elusive stillness that you could feel during the storm? It is in the aftermath that it will be most prominent.” 

G had reached out to stroke the side of Mew’s head as he was sharing. His tone was gentle when he asked, “Which type of thunderstorm person are you, P’Mew?”

“Somedays… Somedays I’m exhilaration. Where I just want to wander around in the storm and reveal in the power of it, the incredible feeling of being alive, when there is so much welling up in me, that the best way to let it out is when nature is also on the same page as you…

… Other days… Other days, I'm pain. When I’m cold inside and nature is in tune with me. When the temperature falls, and the wind picks up as the storm builds. Then, I climb into bed with the thunder, and just let the emotions rip through, just like the passing storm.”

G leaned over the console and placed a small kiss on Mew’s shoulder. The moment Mew felt the electric touch, the tension in his body melted away, and subconsciously, his upper body swayed closer to G, craving the closeness. 

G’s voice, gentle and warm filled the space between them. “It’s because of the thunderstorms in our lives, which help us face the pain and helps us to grow because while thunderstorms bring the thunder, the lightning, and all things chaotic, it also brings the rain. The rain which soothes, and nourishes. So while I wished you could have been spared the pain, it made you who you are today, and in a way, it also allowed our paths to cross. In the end, the past? It’s gone now, think about it, reflect on it, but don’t live in it.” 

Keeping his eyes on the road, Mew reached across the console and rubbed a warm hand on G’s knee. 

“Thank you.”

The next song [ Ayahuasca by Vancover Sleep Clinic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db97HUw3ToA) came on as the journey continued. 

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time they pulled onto their street, the comforting glow of the street lights lit the night around them. 

Mew stopped the car in the driveway. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he turned to face G, whose face was still upturned towards him. Placing a hand on G’s cheek, Mew stroked along his cheekbones gently. Gazing deeply into each other’s eyes, Mew’s held a question, and G seemingly held the answer. Mew leaned in closer brushing their noses together in an Eskimo’s kiss. Once, twice, gazes still not letting up until they became crossed-eyed before Mew decided to just leave a small kiss on the tip of G’s nose. They both let out their breaths as they let the building tension rush over them and through them. 

At that moment, Mild snuffled in the backseat and changed his position, accidentally jabbing Saint in the stomach, which woke Saint up, and chaos ensued for a moment when the boys flailed themselves awake. They only realized that they were back home when Mew changed the gear back and maneuvered the car into the garage. “We’re home you sleepy heads.” 

When the boys all piled out of the car, G suddenly remembered about the guitar. “Ah, P, the guitar is in the storage cabinet.”

Mew had gotten out of the car and was about to lock it when G spoke up. Mild had entered the house but Saint and Tul were just at the doorway when they heard Mew ask, “thanks, but how did you know that there is a guitar in here, G?”

“Oh I-” G’s brows furrowed as he tried to recall how he knew this. “-I don’t know P, it just came to mind earlier, and I just thought of that now again.”

Mew was perplexed but he didn’t push, forgetting that Saint and Tul were still there until they asked about G’s reply.

“Ah, he doesn’t know...”

“Hmm, maybe it is just a lucky guess? But wait there’s a guitar here? Let’s find it! It will be nice to get some tunes in, while we prepare some dinner!”

“Tul, is food the only thing that is in your mind?” Saint reprimanded. “But, yeah it would be nice to do some strumming, where did you say it was?” He had already crossed the room and was starting to rummage through the cupboards. 

“Ok! Nevermind! I got it!” Saint triumphantly pulled out the guitar and the cleaning cloth.

Scratching the back of his head Tul sheepishly asked, “so, what’s for dinner? I’m starving!”

Mew shook his head at his friends, smiling fondly. Walking over to G, he put his arm around him and ushered everyone into the house. “Ok ok let’s go I’ll see what I can whip up.”

G had been lost in thought, mulling over how he knew this piece of knowledge that seemed so random to him, when Mew turned to say reassuringly at his ear, “Don’t worry about it, maybe it was just a gut feeling since all your senses are probably heightened in this state yeah. We can talk about it more later when things are calmer without the boys around yeah?” 

Grateful that Mew was not pushing for information, G resolutely shut down a nagging gut feeling that something was not right and set his mind to enjoy this moment first, they can deal with the rest of the things as they come up. 

The boys realized that Mild probably went up for a nap, but still prepared a portion for him in case he became hungry later.  
In the meantime, Mew had rampaged through the fridge and figured that they had enough to put together some Vietnamese pho.


	17. Chapter 17

G’s resolution to tamp down the feelings of unease didn’t last long. 

During the time that Mew was preparing dinner for the boys, G was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring pensively out the window every now and then, while trying to keep up with the conversation flowing between the boys. 

Random scenes kept popping into his mind, there were no context to the scenes, and he couldn't help but try and chase after those elusive images which vibe like a dream half-remembered. 

…

A random flash, a hazy image or memory of him strumming a guitar while the sun's rays lit the surrounding area around him, sounds of laughter and low-murmured conversation, voices indistinct yet alluding to a hint of familiarity. In the next heartbeat, the vision disappeared. G tried to pull the imagery up in his mind again but could not get more out of it. 

…

Another scene?... memory?... of him sitting crossed-legged on the bed, filtered into his mind. The room was bright with the lazy afternoon sunlight. On the bed, his laptop showed two open windows on the screen, one looked like... an application form? And the other a half-written program. By his side lay a guitar - which looked like the same guitar that he was strumming earlier.

A feeling of confusion and helplessness clung to him as he tried to grasp the shifting images. The feeling of elusiveness like that of trying to grasp water running between his fingers. 

…

The scene morphed and shifted. 

“Son, we need you to make the right choice and to decide-” 

“But pa, why can’t I just have a year off, to think and figure out what I want, and to earn an honest wage with my skills-”

“I don’t want you to stay at that level, there’s so much more you can do and we want what’s best for you. I- ok forget it, let’s talk about this another day.”

“Pa, my answer is going to be the same even if we talk about it another day.”

“... Sometimes you are too stubborn for your own good.” 

...

The voice faded away and was replaced with music and... wind?... rushing past his ears. 

An electrical guitar riff blasted from the speakers.  
The wind buffeted against his body. Heat coursed beneath his skin, as the remnant surge of anger gave way to deep betrayal and disappointment. Gritting his teeth, frustration welled up within him, and obscured his vision as tears. 

A teardrop fell, then two, and then he was crying as he sped down the highway…  
140km/hour…  
150km/hour...

...

"-G...?"

P'Mew's voice interrupted his thoughts and he realised then that he had been frowning, arms crossed across his chest, and his body hunched in an almost defensive pose. 

"Ah, sorry," G eased out of the posture, and reached up to rub the back of his nape, feeling the beginning tendrils of brain fog clouding his mind. "I was... lost in thoughts."

Mew walked over to him and stroked his hair gently, giving him his silent support. 

"You looked..." _like you were in a lot of pain._

Those words remained un-uttered.  
Instead Mew tried to hold a safe space for G, to offer him solace from the thoughts that seem to haunt him, trusting G to talk to him about it when he was ready.

“... like you had a lot on your mind.” 

“Sorry P’...” G’s voice trailed off.

“No, no it’s totally fine, is this about what happened in the garage? We can go to the room and talk about it, if you’re ready to. of course, or do you need to have some space and time to yourself to process your thoughts?” Mew checked in, making a conscious effort to keep his tone light. 

“ I think- Let’s talk about it later, my thoughts are a little scattered at the moment, and I’d prefer to just hang out with you and the boys. Though I might drift in and out, so I’m sorry about that.” G worried his lower lip between his teeth.

“Alright, ok... Yes, for sure, as long as you’re comfortable, ok? We’ll deal with this as we go along.” Mew reassured him.

G cupped Mew’s face, who in turn leaned a little more into the touch. “Thank you, once again. For your kindness and your patience. I can’t tell you enough how much this means to me.”

“Anytime, G...”

Their moment was interrupted by Tul, who had tried to creep up behind Mew to check on the soup.

“Just pretend I’m not here, thanks, just checking to see if dinner is ready, butttt I guess it’s ok to wait a little while more.” Giving Mew a sheepish smile, Tul slinked away as silently as he had appeared. 

They could hear Saint grumbling to Tul in the living room about how he was always such a mood-killer, no sense of timing etc, before he continued to strum a few chords on the guitar.

G let out a chuckle, and the corner’s of Mew’s lips lifted as he observed the tension slowly melt out of G’s frame. 

Giving G’s head a soft rub, Mew turned back to the simmering pot of noodles on the stove and started dishing them out into bowls.  
He then retrieved a serving tray from the shelf and placed the bowls and utensils on it.

Watching P’Mew’s steady movements, G’s vision blurred out as, in his mind’s eye, another scene superimposed onto the current scene in front of him. 

…

A woman’s hands replaced the image of P’Mew’s hands, her face elusively hidden from his view. 

A soft, gentle voice called out to him, “... don’t just stand there and space out, come help serve dinner.” 

“Ok, ma.” 

Body moving on auto-pilot, he drifted between dream-state and real-time. G watched his own actions passively, like a stranger in his own body, as he reached out for the utensils by the stove and followed his mom to the dining table. The edges of his vision blurred out again, and the back view of his mom’s form reappeared as P’Mew’s broad back as P'Mew distributed the bowls for the boys. 

...

The sound of the guitar in the background slowly drifted into his consciousness, fully bringing him back to reality. 

Shaking his head to free the remaining tendrils of the crossed scene that lingered at the edges of his vision, G smiled at P’Mew, when the latter shot him a concerned look. 

“Yay! Let’s dig in!” Tul hooted as he vaulted over the sofa to claim his seat at the table. 

Setting the guitar aside, Saint followed suit, rounding the corner and ruffling Tul’s hair before taking his place at the table as well. 

\---

On the second floor, Mild's room was shrouded in the twilight darkness. 

The fresh air from the surrounding fields penetrated the room through the slightly open window. Mild snuffled a little in his sleep, and pulled his covers over his shoulder, tucking his knees a little closer to his body. 

All was still and silent.

The darkness in the room was momentarily displaced, when Mild’s screen lit up, flashing white once, then twice, before going dark. 

Mumbling in his sleep, Mild flipped to his side, pulled the covers tighter around him, and fell deeper into sleep. 

\---

Back in Bangkok, after frolicking in the garden the whole evening, Chopper finally came back into the house for his dinner, followed by a bath. 

He was covered in dirt after digging up the garden and Mew’s mom wasn’t having it. 

Finally after his bath, Chopper pulled his favorite toy to him, and curled up in his bed in the living room, before falling asleep to the sounds of the TV and the family chatting in the background.

Before long, he started twitching and whimpering in his sleep, stuck in the throes of a nightmare.

Worried, Mew’s parents checked up on him. They stroked his fur until he settled down again, and although it seemed like the bad dream went away, they continued to stroke and pet him through the remainder of their program.


	18. Chapter 18

Later that night, the good weather held, and the sky was full of stars. Not a single cloud obscured the lights in the night sky that emanated from distant planets and stars. 

Checking the weather forecast for the rest of the night, an idea formed in Mew’s head, and he rummaged through the storage in the garage, happy to chance upon a spare set of duvets.

Catching G’s look of confusion when he entered the room with an armful of blankets, Mew decided not to say anything. He exited the veranda doors, and laid the duvets on the ground outside their room. He saw the exact moment that G caught on to his plan, when G's eyes widened in wonder and lit up with happiness. 

Arranging the blankets the way he wanted, Mew lifted the top layer and beckoned G to lie beside him. He shifted around a little and pillowed his head under one arm, and pulled G onto his extended arm so that could snuggle in together.

Mew let out a sigh of contentment and stroked G’s hair as they stared up at the night sky. 

“This is a pretty great idea.” G praised. “I’ve never had the chance to sleep under the stars like that, I think, well the first night in my memory doesn’t count. But it just feels like this is the first time I’m doing this, and doing this with the person whom I like very much makes it even more special.” 

G’s ears were red with shyness for such a straight-forward statement, but he’s come to learn that he really liked being straight-forward. There was no reason to play hard-to-get or to beat around the bush, and it felt so liberating to be able to just speak his mind. 

Noting the way P’Mew’s strokes on his hair faltered after his statement, G thought that it did indeed feel good to be direct, and the feeling was amplified if he could get a reaction out of P’Mew. 

“I’ve never done this with anyone before either.” M confessed. “Also usually I’m a super clean freak, so this probably would never have occurred to me before, like imagine putting a duvet on the ground just like that. But with you, everything feels like an adventure and I want to open up myself to new experiences, especially with you.”

The both of them lay in silence, breathing in the fresh night air and just tracing the constellations with their fingertips. 

“I keep forgetting how beautiful the moon looks. Living in the city for so long, I realise that oftentimes I forget to look up at the night sky. We are also rushing from one point to another and more often than not, we don’t appreciate the beauty of nature. I’m glad I get to enjoy it tonight, just lying under the stars with you beside me.”

“Me too, P’Mew, me too.” 

“Oh wait, since it’s full moon tonight, do you know what is the significance of a full moon P’Mew?” 

Mew shook his head, no.

“It represents completion, the realisation of your desires and the time when things would be the clearest for you. It is a time to celebrate your growth, take note of what progress you have made and to reflect on how far you have come… Also, it’s a time for death, rebirth and the completion of a cycle…” 

G took a deep breath. 

The moment stretched on, expanding under the cosmos. In that moment, a second, or a slice of infinity all rolled into one, as they stood on what felt like the precipice of something monumental. 

The moment passed, the heavens shifted, the night breeze blew across the land.   
Time resumed again. 

“... there are things I want to share with you, and right now it feels so elusive and so surreal, that I don’t know what is real and what is not. Are the thoughts in my head just a construct of my imagination?  
Earlier today I was having flashes of what seemed like memories, or images of family and places, things that I should know intimately you know? Yet it feels so far and dream-like.”

Mew listened in silence, conscious of his own heartbeat that was thudding too loud in his ears.   
His hand lowered to stroke comfortingly along G’s arm. 

“There were visions of me with my family, and it seemed like I might have lived in this house at one point? I’m not sure. There was also a point where it seemed like I had a fight with my father, and I don’t know if I left the home because of the fight, and was trying to run away from everything, or if something else happened and I was running away from that. I was on a bike- ok so I learnt two new things about myself today, one was that I could play the guitar, and the other was that I could ride a motorbike. However, it was all very confusing, and to be honest I feel like I don’t really want to know what happened...” G trailed off.

“What scares you more? Knowing what happened in the past, or having to figure out what to do once you know about the past?” Mew probed gently.

“... I am afraid of what awaits me when I regain my memories, the decisions that I need to make, a-and.. I don’t want to leave you.”

A heavy silence descended over them for a heartbeat. 

“No matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, I will find you. Be it in this lifetime, or the next. Perhaps, you can say that it is crazy, but I have never met anyone else who completes me the way you do. I believe if the universe wanted us to meet, and that we met in such a crazy way, it was meant to be. I mean- what are the odds that we could meet in such a way where you’re pure energy and I’m still in physical form? But even if I want so badly to find you and have you in my life, if you are happier where you are when I find you, I will let you go. Essentially, I believe that love is also wanting the best for the other. And if you are happy, then I am happy.” Mew swallowed around the lump in his throat as he thought of G being happier in the life he was in, in the life he belonged to, without him. Every cell in his body strained against that thought, yet he knew he had to keep it as a possibility. 

Mew knew that he would never tie someone down to his side if it’s not what his partner wanted. So, he was prepared, prepared for the outcome where he would have to let go, and then build his life from that pivotal point forth again. 

G turned his body and snuggled into Mew’s side. Hands lifted to cover his face as he too, fought with the whirlpool of emotions spinning within him. 

“P, when you say that, I- … I really don’t like that, so you would just leave without saying a word, if you assume that I am happier someplace else, without you? Wouldn’t you even approach me first, and talk to me before you make any decisions?”

Mew leaned backed a little and tried to tug G’s hands away from his face. 

“Look at me.” His tone booked no arguments. 

G meekly lifted his gaze to Mew, eyes watery and lips bitten red, and god. Mew is so gone for this boy that he would try and give him the world if he could.

“We agreed that we would always talk to each other, right? I want to believe that I would have the strength to do the right thing if ever we come to that point. Hypothetically speaking, if I can find you in whichever lifetime or universe, I pray that I have the sense to talk to you first, before making any plans or decisions. Yet all of this is based on hypothetical what-ifs. And even if it is so, I want you to know my stance on this. You’re too important to me and I don’t want to lose you in any way, much less over stupid misunderstandings that could probably be solved as long as there is open communication.”

G nodded, a smile blooming across his lips as he felt the stress of the ‘what-if’s melt from the tension he was carrying on his shoulders. He’d cross all the hurdles as he comes across them, as long as P’Mew was by his side in one form or another, he felt that he had the strength and the courage to continue. 

G mulled over what P'Mew just said and a sudden realisation struck him. "... wait... P'Mew, earlier on did you just say 'love'? That love is wanting the best for the other?"

Mew's eyes widened in as he, too, processed what he had said. "Ah, I... well that's the truth G, I do love you, it might be too early to say this, but I know the feeling goes deep. So whether you're ready to hear it or not, I love you-"

"-I love you." G couldn't hold in the words any longer.

"-so even- Wait. What did you just say?" Disbelief coloured Mew's voice. 

"I love you P', I thought it was so obvious and I was thinking that it was too early to say it, but nothing else comes close to describing what I feel. I love you." 

Fingers intertwined, they looked at each other for a moment, then they erupted in a giddy burst laughter, the feelings of exhilaration too much to contain in their hearts. "It feels too good to be true." Mew confessed. "But I really do love you." 

"I love you too."

Overhead, a shooting star shot across the sky.

\---

Just on the outskirts of the woods, a lady in a flowing white dress stepped out barefoot into her garden. The full moon illuminating the space and enhancing the energies rising from the ground and the air around her. Humming a tune to herself, she picked up a woven basket and flitted gracefully from plant to plant, selecting the flowers that were blooming. When the basket was full, she sat down and started weaving the flowers into a flower crown. 

Looking up at the moon, she briefly wondered about the two souls - the Twin Flames which were so incredibly rare - she met the day before. Deep-seated knowledge bloomed in her, with the knowing that full moon nights are the most powerful nights of the month and especially so for lovers to shift them up and align their souls for growth. 

She pondered over her thoughts and at last decided to let her thoughts flow into the universal field, “know at this very moment you’re exactly where you need to be; the separation which is all but an illusion is perfect, the dynamics which have played out in your own journey together have been designed in a way to allow you to grow, evolve and have major personal breakthroughs. The road ahead might be challenging, but if you work at it, and manifest it, all will be as it should."


	19. Chapter 19

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when Mew felt another body heat press up against his back, followed by giggles. Groggily opening his eyes, Mew immediately checked to make sure G was still by his side, before turning around to address his cheeky friends. G had pushed himself up on one elbow and was grinning at his friends as well. 

“It’s too early for this, why are you guys up?” Mew grumbled, still caught in the throes of sleep. 

“We’re going for an early morning swim, because Saint wanted to bet that, one, I wouldn’t be able to wake up, and two, I wouldn’t be able to handle the cold water. So! First, I’ve proved him wrong, because here I am, I’m awake. Second, I will be able to handle the cold water. I’m not that pampered!” Tul cheerfully announced as he snuggled up against Mew. “What we were not expecting is to find you and your boy sleeping outside. Must have been romantic huh, to sleep under the stars.” Tul teased. 

“Stop teasing them, old Mew would never grab blankets and place them on the ground like that, so let’s enjoy the changes that G’s bringing around in him.” Saint’s tone indicated that he too was also just teasing them.

“Urgh, too early for this, let us be,” Mew grumbled. “Wait, what’s the price for the winner?” 

“Well... The loser will have to streak naked when we go to the beach the next time, oh, and also to prepare breakfast today.” Saint replied cheekily.

“Hey!! We did not agree on streaking naked down the beach. Don’t add rules just according to your whim.” Tul shot back. “But, we can add that in now that you mention it because I will definitely not lose to you.”

“Nah, let’s just leave it as it is.” Looking at how determined Tul was, Saint took the opportunity to revert the status, just in case, you know, he ends up losing the bet. 

The boys just laughed, seeing through Saint’s intentions immediately. 

“Ok go swim or whatever, I’ll get moving in a few more minutes,” Mew mumbled as he curled his body under the warm covers, instinctively seeking to get closer to G. 

Looking down at P’Mew, who looked adorable trying to worm his way back beneath the covers, G reached out to stroke P’Mew’s hair back before lightly flicking his forehead.

“Aow! What was that for?” Pouting Mew tilted his head back to look at G. 

“Time to get up sleepyhead. Are you this lazy in the mornings?” G teased. 

“Only when I’m with you, I just want more snuggle time, is that too much to ask for?”

“Mew, no sweet-talk, we can still hear you!” Tul called out. 

“Well, you do that all the time with Max, so let me indulge, plus this is nowhere near my level of sweet-talking yet.” Mew shot back, before giving his body a full stretch and pushing the duvet aside. “Alright, alright, I’m moving.” 

There was a loud splash, followed by a “whoop!” as Tul cannon-balled into the water.

“It’s freaking freezing! What the h!!” 

“Ah, shit, I didn’t think you’d really go and do that,” Saint complained. “Ok, I lost. I’m going to fix-”

“-you’re not going anywhere, get in here!” Tul cried out as he held onto Saint’s ankle where Saint was standing by the pool. 

“Ay, stop tugging, Tul I swear, ah-!” Another loud splash came from the pool followed by loud shrieks of laughter. 

“Literal kids, I swear.” Mew shook his head as he started wrapping the duvets up, folding them, and intending to put them aside for house-cleaning. 

\---

Sometime later, the smell of pancakes waffled through the house as Saint prepared breakfast for everyone. By that time, the sun was up and the boys decided to have their breakfast by the poolside. Both Saint and Tul had changed out and dried off. 

“House-service!” Saint called out as he balanced a tray loaded with pancakes and spreads. “Breakfast is served, tada! Ay, Tul can you pull that side table here?” 

“So bossy.” Tul sassed. 

“You’ve no right to say anything seeing that I’m preparing breakfast for everyone-”

“-only because you lost. Hah!”

Mew felt that he needed to intervene at this point in time. “Settle down kids. Saint do you need more help, is there anything else to grab from the kitchen?”

“Nah, that’s almost everything, oh there’s the fruit juice too, I’ll grab those and we should be set. Shall I wake Mild up? Or let him sleep-”

“-no need to wake me up, you guys were screaming loud enough to wake the dead earlier,” Mild called out as he walked out of the house, another tray in hand, with the jug of juice and cups for all.

“Mild! Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you up.” Tul said sheepishly. 

Mew had walked up to Mild to take over the tray, bringing it over to their mini picnic set up by the pool. 

“Did you have a good rest, bro? You were really out of it yesterday, so I hope you managed to get some rest.” Mew commented.

Mild stretched his arms over his head as he replied affirmatively. “Yeah, I slept like a log. I forgot to plug my phone in to charge, so it was dead when I woke up this morning. But with the commotion happening here, I didn’t really need the alarm after all. I’m sorry I missed dinner though. I’ll have the leftovers for lunch later.“

Saint threw an arm around Mild. “Good you had a good sleep. Shall we help to give you a good start to your morning?” The mischievous smile on his face and the increasing force applied to his back alerted Mild that something was wrong, and he took off sprinting to the side of the pool when he saw Tul approaching them from the corner of his eye.

“No! I am NOT getting into the pool, and don’t you dare!” Mild was in a defensive crouch. The boys were inching towards Mild when Mew stopped them. “It’s too early to tease him, guys.” 

A slight inflection in his tone gave Saint and Tul a brief heads up before they heard Mild yell, followed by a loud splash. Whipping their heads back to the scene, the boys stared in disbelief as Mild popped his head out of the water, half sputtering and half laughing. “Omg G! That was not playing fair, and what in the world was that?!” 

“Huh? What happened?” Tul was so confused. 

Mew had doubled over in laughter during the commotion. Straightening back up, Mew explained, while wiping tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes. “G had walked over to him, and he stuck his finger into Mild’s ear, which probably shocked him so much, he fell straight into the water.”

“Ingenious!” Saint exclaimed. “Wait where is he now?” He asked Mew. 

“Walking your way.”

“Ok cool, hey G, give me five!” Holding his palm out, Saint grinned happily as he felt the responding electric shock travel radiate from his palm. 

“Nice call.”

“Urrgh, you guys, I’m going up to change, don’t eat my share!” Mild complained as he hoisted himself out of the pool. “I look like a drowned rat now, and it’s freaking freezing!”

“You don’t need to look good to have breakfast with us dum-dum.” That came from Saint.

“Yeah but I also don’t want to catch pneumonia just to have breakfast with you dum-dum.” Mild shot back. 

G was laughing through the shenanigans of it all, enjoying the easy camaraderie and brotherhood that flowed between the group. 

\---

The edges of his vision blurred out and another vision overlaid the current scene.

“Eh! Wait for me! Didn’t you say you’re going to build a tree-house with me this summer?” He called out to another boy who was running ahead of him. 

“When will you grow taller, so that you can keep up with me? Run faster!” The taller guy called out as he sprinted up the slope to the poolside. 

“Dum-dum! Not like I could grow taller just by wishing it!” He shot back, struggling to pump his legs faster to catch up to his friend. 

“The last one to the house loses!” His friend called out. 

“I’m trying! Wait up!” 

\---

The voices and the memory faded away as G slowly came back to his surroundings. 

“Dum-dum.” 

“What did you say, G?” Mew asked. 

“Oh. nothing, I just had a memory I think. The word dum-dum just sounded familiar to me.” G explained. A tight feeling building in his chest. 

“Ah, yeah that came from Mild. He used it so often that it just kind of grew on the boys. Anyway, come sit by me.” Mew called out patting the space beside him on the lounge chair. The boys had gathered around and were dividing the food up when Mild came back down to rejoin the group.

“So what did I miss?” Mild asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as he grabbed his plate and started hefting the pancakes onto it.

“Nothing much, but you want to fill us in on what happened back in Bangkok?” Saint asked as he drizzled a generous amount of honey onto his pancakes. 

“Oh yeah, so about that, I was talking about a family friend who owns this villa? So our families are very close, our moms are best friends actually, and us kids basically grew up together. We would come here for summer vacations, and travel together and everything. The girls - our sisters got on really well, and I clicked with their son as well, so I guess we were one big family when we came together. But over the years I drifted away from a little because I was so busy with work and life, and I stopped joining for summer vacations. This is the first year in seven years since I last came back to the villa and I’m happy that they still let me use it. But I was totally not expecting the call... when was it- well, a few days back, that my childhood friend got into an accident and went into a coma.”

Mild reached across the table to grab some juice. 

“Apparently he got into a fight with his father because of their family business, and he just up and left. He didn't tell anyone where he was going and his family didn’t realize that he was on his way to the villa, until they received a call from the hospital notifying them of the accident. It was a good thing he had his ID on him, and the emergency contacts listed in his mobile.”


	20. Chapter 20

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me, pa?”

“We didn’t think about it-”

“Yeah obviously, but it’s my life pa! Did that thought ever cross your mind?”

\---

Mild’s voice cut through the voices in G’s head as he continued explaining the situation. “So the family rushed down to the hospital, and his mom called my mom because she was panicking and that was how I heard the news.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear that. What was the state he was in when he was admitted to the hospital? Like did he suffer from a head injury or spinal damage from the accident? I mean he was on a bike so that must have been rough.” Saint asked.

“No, so that was the weird thing, apart from bruises and scrapes, he was actually in pretty good physical condition after the crash. I think they only found a fracture on his arm, and his shin, but apart from that, the MRI and scans all showed no abnormalities in his brain. There were no spinal cord injuries sustained as well, and it is likely he will have a full recovery when he wakes up. But the problem is that they don’t know what induced the coma, as he did not have any underlying illness. So right now, they are just waiting for him to wake up. Another strange thing is that his injuries really appeared to be relatively mild if you saw the images of the bike. The bike looked totally wrecked like it was run over by a truck or something.”

Silence descended on the group as they processed what Mild just shared. 

An uneasy feeling was building up in Mew’s chest and he reached over to pull G’s hand onto his lap. His stomach tightened, and there was a buzz beneath his skin, it felt like he was missing something important. 

Lost in his thoughts, it took him a moment before he realized something was not quite right - It seemed like the electric feeling that he was so used to, felt a bit fainter. Carefully observing G, Mew didn’t see anything else that was amiss, so he tucked that away as something he’d, perhaps, gotten so used to G that he also became accustomed to the electrifying sensation. 

Beside Mew, G was listening attentively, but his focus kept zipping in and out and it felt like his brain was slowly fogging up. 

Another memory flashed into his mind.

\---

“P’, are you sure you want to apply for school?” His younger sister looked at him where she was sat beside him, scrolling through his application form.

“Yeah, I think this is the best way to help pa manage the company. My skills now are-”

“-don’t just listen to him that your skills are not enough to save the company!” Her tone was filled with indignation. “You’re better than the whole team he has.”

“I don’t know about that, but I need to do something, more on a managerial level, and if I can’t be up there making the big decisions, then I can’t get anywhere you know.” 

“B-but, you are already so qualified! A-and if you take this course, you will leave us.” Sadness laced her tone.

“Oh, so this is what it is about? Me leaving you behind? Don’t worry Cathy, I’ve decided to take the course here in Bangkok and not the one in London.”

“Oh! Wait! Really?!” 

“Dum-dum, didn’t you read the top part of the application?” He rubbed her head affectionately.

“Yeah, but it’s all in English! So I thought….” She bashfully tucked her a loose strand of her soft hair behind her ear. 

“No, it’s an international business school so the form is in English, and so will the classes. I’ll always be here with you ok, and even if I’m not physically here, I will always be here," he stroked her head affectionately, "in your heart.”

\---

“...Cathy… Catherine…” the name fading out of his mind like a dream slipping away at dawn. 

G rubbed his temples, feeling the familiar onset of an impending headache.

“G, are you ok?” 

Opening his eyes - _when had he closed them?_ \- P’Mew’s worried face sharpened into focus. 

“Sorry P’, I just had a flashback that I was talking to my sister, I think. About applying… for something?... school, I guess? It’s nothing, I’m fine now.” G gave him a weak smile. 

“Are you sure? Earlier, when I first held your hand, something felt a little off, but I thought it was just because I was getting used to your force field. If you feel unwell or something is off please tell me, ok? I’m trusting you to tell me.”

“I didn’t want to worry you, but ok.. Ok, I will tell you. I’m just having a bit of a headache now, which seems to accompany the visions I get, but they're manageable.”

Looking deeply into G’s eyes as if that action would ascertain it for him, Mew finally nodded when he saw that it did indeed seem manageable for G. 

“Ok, if you need to rest please just rest ok, don’t push yourself too hard.”

“Alright, but can I perhaps just rest here, with you? I would like to just lay on your lap for a bit.”

Leaning back, Mew made space for G to lay down on his lap, ignoring the way his friends were staring at them - well, him - as they gobbled their breakfast. When G was settled comfortably Mew stroked his hand down G’s head before looking up and addressing his friends with a looked that conveyed ‘what?’.

“Nah, you just seem so domestic, it’s nice to see that,” Saint replied, while Mild and Tul just nodded along, their cheeks bulging from the food in their mouth. “You’re usually all business and usually seem cautious with expressing yourself, when you’re with other people other than us and your family of course, so it’s nice to see a domestic side to you.”

“Really? I seem stern?” 

“Trust you to only pick up on that, but yeah it’s like usually, your work mode is on, no-nonsense and very professional.” Mild chipped in. “Wait, so is everything ok with G?”

“Yup all is good I guess, he has been having a few memory flashes since yesterday so we’re just monitoring the situation.”

“Ok, are there any specific details that we could help look into?” Saint asked.

“At the moment, it seems pretty family-oriented, but there doesn’t seem to be enough details to narrow the search yet, though he did mention that he knew how to play the guitar and ride a bike, so that was progress I suppose? Maybe we could look into that this afternoon and we will see if we can get more information to make the search more relevant.” 

“Sounds good.” Tul agreed.  
Mew continued, “great so we can do that this afternoon. Sorry to interrupt you Mild, so what does the family do actually?”

“Ok, but let us know if there is anything we can do to help ok?” Mild’s face was lined with worry, and Mew nodded in reply. “He seems like a sweet guy, I just wished there could be more we can help with. But about the situation… so yeah I’m not sure what the fight was about, but I think I could kind of guess it, but before that… wait, what was I going to share...oh yes, so the family, they’re in the gaming and tech industry. They are one of the bigger gaming companies here in Thailand and there was a new game that was recently released which is picking up traction and popularity. I did hear rumors that there was a bigger company that was trying to get their hands on the game or something along those lines. But I didn’t bring that up when I met up with them of course. Apart from that, I don’t know the details of what they were into. Interestingly enough, our families are in two completely different social circles, I mean, my family has always been in the fashion circle, so it’s amazing how our moms managed to keep their friendship strong through the years. I did feel a bit bad that I was the one who had drifted away and I’m hoping that I can make up for the lost time when he wakes up, and I know it’s a _‘when’_ and not an _‘if’'_." 

Mild swallowed around the lump that had built up in his throat. The emotions from the previous days catching up to him. 

“He’s so young, you know, there’s so much life ahead of him still. S-so, I refuse to believe that he won’t wake up. It’s just a matter of time, I’m sure.” Mild concluded. The ball of unease that was growing in Mew’s stomach grew even bigger and heavier, and try as he might, Mew couldn’t seem to put his finger on what was bugging him. 

In the meantime, lying on P’Mew’s lap as he listened to Mild’s sharing, G realized that at one point he started to feel a little floaty. “P’Mew I’m starting to feel a little tired, and sleepy. I think I’m going to take a nap. Maybe it’s enough sun for me for today...” His voice drifted off as his eyelids started to close. 

G didn’t hear P’Mew’s alarmed “G..?!”, followed by a chorus of the boys asking, “what’s happening?!”

His eyelids felt so heavy and they finally slid shut, and all that surrounded him was blissful white space. 

Above him, Mew tried to rouse G but it did seem like he had just fallen asleep, which was why it was alarming because G hasn’t fallen asleep once since he came into Mew’s life. He usually likes to rest with his eyes close sometimes while still continuing their conversation, and there was always a feeling the G was always present in the moment. Now, he could feel the disconnect. The other thing that alarmed Mew, was the fact that G seemed to look more fragile, delicate, and more... insubstantial. 

All of a sudden, there was a click, and puzzle pieces that seemed so disjointed suddenly started falling into place. Snippets of conversations drifted into Mew's mind and a thought struck Mew like a lightning bolt. 

His blood ran cold. “Mild… I just thought of something, you said that the family who lived here is your family friend and that the son got into a motorbike accident, on the way back to this villa right?”

It took a moment, before what Mew seemed to be implying struck the boys. “What’s his name? Your childhood friend?”

“G…” Mild mumbled to himself, “could it be….?” 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts that were tumbling around in his head, Mild looked up and straight into Mew’s eyes that were filled with apprehension and worry. 

“Gulf Kanawut.”


	21. Chapter 21

“.... Gulf… G… Could it be? I mean what are the odds that they both have ‘G’ in their names.” Mew rubbed a hand over his eyes and looked down at G who was in all appearances sleeping peacefully on his lap. 

“...Gulf… It suits you actually, well if you turn out to be the same person.” Mew stroked a hand over G’s head. 

Panic streaked through his veins when he realized that his hand seemed to be to pass through the strands of G’s hair. 

“G, nong, can you hear me? Could you wake up please?” Desperation and fear laced Mew’s voice as he tried to shake G awake. 

\---

“Gulf Kanawut.”

In the distant foggy land that just seemed filled with nothing but light, he walked alone, no beginning and no end in sight.

He heard a voice call out a name. The name seemed familiar.

Walking towards the direction that the voice sounded from, he heard another sound that sounded soft and distant.

“...beep… beep… beep…”

“...update, still unresponsive other than…” A voice faded in and out of the space. 

In the background, a different voice came from another direction. Familiar and filled with a sense of urgency.

“...Gulf… Gulf… Can you hear me G?...”

Casting one last look towards the direction where the first voice resounded from, he decided to go towards the other voice instead. Reciting the name aloud, trying out the fit of the name, “... Gulf… Gulf Kanawut.”

\---

“...Gulf…” G mumbled as he opened his eyes to see P’Mew leaning over him, face lined with worry… and fear?

“G, oh my god, baby, please don’t scare me like that. You took so long to respond and I-” Choked up with emotion, Mew tried to recollect himself. 

During the past half hour where he tried to rouse an unresponsive G… Gulf… his mind came up with all sorts of scenarios. 

After the initial minutes when he couldn’t get through to G-Gulf, the boys had suggested that they move indoors, unsure if the heat could be a cause for his apparent energy drain. Mild and Saint had cleared up the traces of breakfast while Tul made sure to tidy up the space in the living room to make it comfortable for everyone. 

Mew had gingerly scooped his arms below Gulf and carried him bridal-style into the house. At one point, he could not be sure but he thought that Gulf looked like he was becoming fainter, yet upon a second look, all seemed as per normal. 

Mew had continued to try and rouse Gulf, until finally signs of life appeared when his eyes started moving beneath his eyelids, and then he’d mumbled his own name before awakening. 

At this moment, the boys were sat around them, alerted to a change when Mew stopped calling out Gulf’s name in desperation.

“Is he awake?” Mild sat at the edge of the sofa, hands brought together and cupped over his mouth.

“Yeah, just,” Mew replied, eyes solely for Gulf. 

“...P’Mew?...” Eyes wide in confusion, Gulf tried to sit up but the room spun around him. Resigned he laid back down, before reaching up to cup Mew’s face. 

“I- I’m sorry, what happened?” 

Unable to stop himself, Mew leaned down, pressed his forehead against Gulf’s before placing a kiss on the spot. 

“Mild was updating us, but then you started having flashbacks again, so you laid down on my lap to rest when you started having a headache. But after that you fell asleep, and you’ve never done that before, plus my fingers went through your hair when I tried to stroke it, so that really freaked me out, it felt like you were fading.”

“I-I heard my name, or at least I think it’s my name? Gulf? Gulf Kanawut... It sounds right.” Gulf tried to voice out his name, nodding when name settled in his chest, like a welcoming hug. A piece of the puzzle fell into place, but at the same time, it acted as a key, opening up other doors that led to more questions and what-ifs. Fighting against another looming headache, Gulf asked, “... so I’m in a coma? Like my physical body I mean.” 

“Yeah, Mild was updating us that you had gotten in a motorcycle accident and you’re in a coma now.” 

“Mew, can we check in with Gulf if he has had any new memories resurfacing?” Mild asked.

“I remember applying for school, and that I have a younger sister, Cathy… Catherine.” Gulf replied and Mew relayed the message. 

“Yes, I saw her at the hospital when I went to visit you.” Mild shared. “But I think it would be better to fully confirm your identity first. One moment, I’ll grab my phone.”

Mild left the boy in the living room, and went back to his bedroom, a sense of unease still settled in his gut. Entering the cool confines of his room, Mild removed his mobile from the charging station and switched it on. The screen lit up as the phone powered on. Just as he reached his door, a shout rang out through the house. Feeling his heart drop to his stomach, Mild ran to the living room to see only Tul and Saint standing in the middle of their living room, their faces pale. 

“What hap-” Before Mild could finish his sentence, Saint intercepted him. 

“We need to stay here, we won’t be able to help.”

“Help with what?” Mild had a feeling he knew what went down.

Tul rubbed his palms over his face. “G... G disappeared. Mew looked up for a second to respond to something we were saying I think, but he suddenly shouted that something was hot, we then saw a quick flash of light, and when he looked down, G was gone. Mew is looking for him around the estate now, but we won’t be able to help since we can’t see him.” 

“Oh sh-.” Mild was about to curse when he felt his phone vibrate in his pants.

Checking his messages, he felt his heart drop to his stomach when he saw that he had a slew of messages from his family and also… Gulf’s sister. A fleeting thought passed through his mind just as he felt hands grabbing at his arms. “Wha-”

“Mild! Are you ok?” Saint asked, panic lacing his voice. 

“What on earth is happening today?” Tul mumbled. Raising his voice to the normal level, Tul told Saint to move Mild to the sofa. 

“Guys I’m fine, you can let go.” Mild tried to free his arms, but the boys only released him once they sat him down on the sofa. 

“You looked like you were about to faint, at one point you were looking at your phone, then the next we saw you swaying, good thing we were close enough to get to you quickly,” Tul explained.

“Ah, thanks guys, I feel fine, but- oh! The messages!”

Mild opened the Line app again. “My phone was dead last night so I missed all the messages…”

“What is it about?” Tul asked as he and Saint both leaned in at the same time to look at the screen. 

**Mom:**   
...

| Yesterday | 

Did you reach Chiang Mai safely?  
Let me know when you’ve touched down and arrived at the villa...  
Son, I still haven’t heard from you...  
Don’t make me worry...  
I should have figured your phone is dead...  
Mew messaged me to tell me you’re at the villa and already asleep...  
I love you, get some rest…

| Today |

Aunty Jen just called me, are you awake now?  
It’s about Gulf…  
<1 missed call>  
Ok, I still can’t call through, call me when you are awake and when you see this message...

**Sis:**   
…

| Today |

Mom told me that you probably forgot to charge your phone!  
Anyway, I don’t know if she has told you yet (knowing her she probably hasn’t)  
I heard that Gulf has become more responsive now, so maybe it will be good for you to come back soon, just in case he wakes up.  
Call me when you get my message.

**Cath K.:**   
…

| Today | 

P’ Mild!  
I think my brother might have a chance to wake up  
The doctors are saying that there have been some changes in his brain waves

Just as Mild was about to compose a reply to them, he received an incoming call from his sister. Exchanging a look with Tul and Saint, Mild answered the call.

“... eh! Why didn’t you answer our messages!” Macy complained the moment he answered.

“I just finished reading the messages when you called! But what did the doctor say? Have they done the scans?” Mild asked. 

“They will do a scan shortly actually. We are rushing down to the hospital now because we just got the news that Gulf’s awake. We’re not sure of other details, I’ll update you when we’ve arrived, but I think... try to come back soon ok?”

“That’s great news! Ok thanks for updating me, I think I will be back tomorrow. I need to settle some stuff here first.”

“Ok, we’ll keep you posted, love you son.” His mom called out in the background.

“Wait I was on speaker the whole time?” 

“Yup! It was easier that way, plus you probably also did the same,” Macy responded.

“Yeah yeah, ok see you tomorrow maybe.” 

“Oh! And remember to charge your phone! Love you.” Macy threw out the reminder again before ending the call. 

Mild exhaled, feeling so tired all of a sudden. He looked up to see that Mew was back. He was sitting at the edge of the sofa. Face deathly pale and strangely blank, like he couldn’t process all that’s happened. 

“Hey...”

“Hey. Sorry that was Macy.”

“I heard.” 

“Are you ok?”

“I guess I will be. I- G’s not here. Not anymore.”

“I’m sorry dude. I- That was very unexpected, I know that all the puzzle pieces seem to have come together, but we need to confirm one last thing first.” Pulling up a photo of Gulf’s Instagram page, Mild showed the image to Mew.

“Is my Gulf, your G?”

Taking the phone from Mild. Mew looked at the face that he'd become so familiar with, his chest started to tighten and it suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe.

“Yes, that’s him, for sure.”

“Ok, so we know for sure now. My guess is that we won’t find him here in the villa, now that he’s woken up. But we don’t know what state he will be in, and if he will-” Mild didn’t want to finish his sentence, but looking at the painful awareness in his best friend’s eyes, he knew that Mew had already considered the possibilities. 

The feeling from earlier welled up again in Mild’s chest. He chased after the feeling, the fleeting thoughts running in his mind. There was something importan-oh! Oh... sh- That would be something that will be even more difficult for him to talk about it now. 

“... I know. I know that there is a possibility that he won’t recognize me or remember me…” 

Silence descended in the room settling coldly and uncomfortably in the empty spaces. All of them lost in their thoughts.

Resting his head in his palms. Mild tried to think of a way to handle what he needed to share. Try as he might, there was no other way apart from just telling the truth. His heart hurt for both his best friend and his childhood friend. Or perhaps, he could just leave it until they returned to BKK? No, that would probably make it worse. 

“... We need to go back to BKK tomorrow…” Mew said aloud, as his other worries and fears tumbled around in his head.. I don’t know what I’m feeling and what I should do, or not do. I- I don’t know if I should go with you to the hospital, will it be too soon? Should I wait and see what his condition will be first?

“Yeah we do, and I also need to go to the hospital…” Mild trailed off, “I want you to come with me, but…”

Saint and Tul frowned, feeling something bigger was about to unfold.

Mew had his head buried in his hands. “... but you’re not sure if it will be too early for me to see him? Yeah, I’m not sure either… Maybe it’s best to see what his condition will be then we can see from there…?”

Mild was silent for a beat too long. He heaved out a heavy sigh.

Mew looked up. “...Mild?”

“Well… It’s not so much about that Mew. I mean yeah we'll need to see what his condition will be, but I also need to tell you something. Before that, I first need to state that I don’t know the situation so I really can’t say anything about the matter except what I know.” He looked beseechingly at Mew. Praying that he was making the right decision. 

The pressure in the room seemed to shrink and settle over Mew's frame, sinking into his skin until it felt like it was pressing in on all sides on his chest and head. The feeling of apprehension was almost suffocating in its intensity. 

Closing his eyes, he nodded as he tried to regulate his breathing, a low ringing started in his ears from the built-up stress.

“Gulf has a fiancee.”

The ringing in his ears intensified. 

That was the last thing he heard.


	22. Chapter 22

Bright lights flicked at the back of his eyes. 

Low murmurs drifted in and out of his consciousness as he tried to focus on the words. 

His body felt so heavy and it was hard to move. 

He left out a soft groan as he finally managed to open his eyes to see bright fluorescent lights above him. 

“You’re awake!” a voice cried out.

His head felt like someone replaced his brain with cotton wool. 

“So… loud.” He complained as he struggled to sit up. 

Hands supported him and he maneuvered his body into a seated position. 

“What… what happened?” He asked, keeping his face cupped within his palms as he struggled to orient himself and to breathe through the slight dizziness that hit him when he sat up.

Silence descended in the room.

Then Tul replied, “you fainted after Mild…”

It all came rushing back to Mew. The burning sensation he felt on his thigh when Gulf disappeared, the sudden blinding light, him frantically running to the rooms and the estate to look for Gulf, coming back to hear the conversation between Mild and his sister, feeling a mix of shock, disbelief, worry and relief all rolled into one, his thoughts all jumbled up and then finally the last thing that happened… 

“... after Mild told us that…” A lump built-in Mew’s throat. He ruthlessly swallowed it down, “Gulf has a f-...fiancee. “

The three boys were staring at him in worry. Ready to catch him again if anything were to happen. 

Mild spoke up, worry etched deep lines into his face. “I’m sorry Mew. I- I didn’t know if I should tell you, but I thought that it would be better to tell you upfront and not drop this on you later.”

“... no, don’t apologize. I appreciate that you told me and that you told me sooner rather than later. I just… I just don’t know how to react? I’m feeling so... Overwhelmed right now, and at a loss, and honestly, it’s all too much at the moment. But still, it was a good call to tell me this. That was probably hard for you as well, you’re a good friend.” Mew strove to reassure him, even though he felt like a thousand knives were stabbing him from within. It felt like he had lost Gulf _twice_ in a short span of time... It’s like he lost Gulf before he even had the chance to have him.

“You guys already beat the odds, and there might be an explana-” Tul started, but fell silent when Saint reached over and squeezed his arm - hard -, while shaking his head to indicate that it was not the right time to say anything. 

Mew gave his friends a sad smile, grateful that they were there for him again, and that they knew him well to know what he needed. “Thanks, Tul, I appreciate it, but I think I’m going to take a walk to clear my head first, and then I can see what I will do from here.”

Mild opened his mouth, but words couldn’t come to him. Resigned, he could only sit and watch as his best friend stood and left the room. 

Saint and Tul remained silent as they watched the lonely figure of Mew drifted further away from them. 

“We can only wait for him to sort out his emotions. He’s going through so much right now, and I totally understand, I mean we practically watched one bomb fall after the other. But let’s wait for him to come back and we'll sort this out. In the meantime, Mild, tell us what you do know.” Saint turned to Mild and Tul arranged himself into a more comfortable position. 

Mild let out a heavy sigh. 

It’s going to be a long night.

\---

Making his way down the slope, Mew struggled to take in even breaths through the tightness of his chest. Everything hurt. By the time he reached the spot where he first met Gulf, Mew fell into a heavy heap on the group. The pain and the confusion took the form of tears, as they formed a film over his eyes, obscuring his vision. Curling himself up into a ball, he let the tears finally fall. 

His mind whirled in a pool of thoughts and images. Each one overlapping the other, churning around and around until he felt dizzy all over again. 

The sound of his heartbeat sounded too loud in his ears, there was nothing else he could hear.

**Ba-dum.**

Will I see him again?

**Ba-dum.**

Will he remember me?

**Ba-dum.**

_...The ghost of G’s laughter echoed in his mind...._

**Ba-dum.**

He has a fiancee…

**Ba-dum.**

Even if he remembers me, I won’t wreck his future.

**Ba-dum.**

_...G reaching up to cup his face, warm brown eyes looking at him with so much affection..._

**Ba-dum.**

Should I see him?

**Ba-dum.**

Would I have the chance to see him?

**Ba-dum.**

Should I just… give up on this love?

_…“-so you would just leave without saying a word, if you assume that I am happier someplace else, without you?” Gulf’s voice echoed in his head..._

**Ba-dum.**

Maybe I shouldn’t see him and that will save both of us from so much pain. 

**Ba-dum.**

Maybe… This is the best way to end it and let it go. 

**Ba-dum.**

_...Gulf’s watery eyes stared at him. “Wouldn’t you even approach me first, and talk to me before you make any decisions?”..._

Mew felt like he’d lost a chunk of his heart. The pain was crippling, yet so ghost-like as well. This was worse than all the other heart-aches he had experienced in the past. None had ever made him feel like he was going through such torment.

_... Amidst the cloud of darkness surrounding him, Gulf’s voice drifted hazily in and out of his consciousness. Warm... comforting... present. “I feel safe with you P’. It’s probably strange that I’m not freaking out more, given the circumstances, but I feel safe with you. And somehow… i-it….” G took another deep breath. “...it scares me a little that I’m more afraid of losing this, than being afraid of knowing what happened to me, of uncovering my memories, or even of what’s going to happen next.”...”I don’t want to wake up from this.”...”_

\---

An hour or two passed, everyone lost track of it. 

In the living room, the boys sat in silence as they waited for Mew to return.

“It’s so late now, and it’s dark. Should we look for him? We shouldn’t have let him wander off by himself, and he didn’t even take his mobile phone. What if something were to happen to him? What if-” Tul broke the silence, his leg bouncing up and down in agitation. 

“-Tul breath, we know Mew won’t do anything stupid, and we know that he really needs the space and the time to think things out. I’m also worried that he might accidentally get injured, but I’m going to trust that everything is fine for now. Perhaps if he is not back within the hour, we will head out and look for him ok?” Saint interrupted Tul. Mild nodded in agreement and was about to add on before the sound of the sliding door opening alerted them that Mew was back. 

The boys all stood up and made their way towards Mew the moment he stepped into the house. He was a mess. His clothes and hair were mussed and it looked like he had grass stains on his jeans. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, from crying. Lips bitten red and cheeks deathly pale. 

“Mew.” Mild called out. Mew’s lower lip trembled as tears welled up in his eyes yet again. The boys immediately closed ranks and hugged him tightly from all sides as Mew let out choked sobs. 

“G...Gulf isn’t here anymore. He’s g-gone.” Mew cried out as he leaned into the comforting embrace of his friends. 

“He may be gone in one form, but Mew, he’s still here, and he’s alive, that’s what matters.” Mild responded, tears falling from his eyes too. 

“I-I know, and I-I’m g-glad. But. It’s j-just different. Everything’s different now.” 

The boys continued holding on to him as he let the pain run its course.

“A-and I feel like I’ve really lost him for good.” 

“Ok, let’s have a talk about this, but before we do, do you want to take a shower first? Get comfortable, then let’s look at what we will do from here?” Mild suggested. Mew nodded, and the boys released him from the hug. Taking a deep breath, Mew rubbed his hands over his face. 

“Ok. OK. I think I’m going to do that. I’ll grab a quick shower then let’s talk.” 

“Thanks for being here for me guys. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“We’ll always be here for you. And never, never apologize for that. Now go, we’ll be here when you’re ready.”


	23. Chapter 23

Standing under the blistering hot shower, Mew tilted his head back, letting the water run over him, washing the remnants of tears and bone-deep exhaustion away from him. He watched the soap suds drain away as warmth returned to his body. 

By the time he stepped out of the shower, his head was clearer and he began to formulate plans in his head.

Drying himself off and slipping into his joggers, Mew went back to the living room. 

The boys had prepared supper and the space was clean and aired out. 

Mild stood at the stove, a towel over his damp hair as he dished out the egg noodles into serving bowls. Beside him, there was a large bowl of nachos and dips. Plating the last bowl of noodles onto the tray, Mild reached for a nacho and turned to see Mew at the dining table. 

“Sh- Mew, you gave me a scare.” Mild finished off the piece in his hand and carried the food-laden tray to the table. 

“I figured you haven’t eaten since this morning, so grab some nachos while waiting for the soup to cool a little.”

“That’s.. An interesting combination, but thanks, where are the boys?”

“We all went up for a shower when you went for yours, so they should be done soon.”

Setting the tray down onto the table, Mild then reached out and wrapped an arm around Mew’s shoulders. 

“Hey man, I know it’s been a lot today, but are you feeling better after the shower?” 

“Yeah, I am feeling much better, and more clear-headed.”

“Ready to talk about it?” Mild checked in. 

“Yeah, if you’ve already filled in Saint and Tul, maybe you can just go ahead and tell me about it and we can pick up the rest when they’re here.”

Seeing that Mew did indeed look better and steadier, Mild nodded and settled down comfortably at the table. 

Mild thought back to the day he rushed to Bangkok. “I went straight to the hospital the moment I touched down. His family had gone back to rest then, and I had some time with him and I couldn’t believe that he was in a coma, he looked like he was just sleeping. I was about to leave to get some food when a girl suddenly came into the room and introduced herself as his fiancee. I was so surprised then because I never heard that he was engaged. But before I could fully react, my family came and they apparently were surprised as well. She did clarify that they were just engaged before he got into the accident. “

Mild paused and munched on another nacho. Seeing that Mew still seemed calm and attentive, he continued,

“I remember thinking then - and this is not because you and Gulf are an item - that even though she seemed sweet and all, there was something that rubbed me the wrong way. What was her name again? She’s Korean I think… Ah, yeah. Byeol Kim. So anyway, Gulf’s family arrived not long before, and I knew my gut feeling was right when I saw the way Gulf’s sister looked at her. His parents seemed friendly enough with her, but there seemed to be… no warmth? She left not long after and only then did the atmosphere in the room change. So that struck me as strange. My mom tried to ask about it, but the Kanawuts just gave evasive answers and mom didn’t push because it didn’t seem appropriate to butt into their family matters. It was only when we were all leaving did I manage to pull Cathy aside to ask her about her opinion on the matter.”

At that moment, Saint and Tul appeared at the top of the stairs. “Ah, you’re filling him in then, Mild?” Tul asked as he made his way to the table. Mild nodded, and Tul continued, “don’t mind us then, just continue where you left off, and in the meantime, let’s eat. I’m starving! Mew, you look better after the shower, that’s good.” Tul gave him a thumbs-up, and Mew just laughed it off. 

“I looked that bad when I came back huh.” 

“Well, yeah you looked like crap, to be honest.” Tul replied, “but glad to see you’re fresher now. So time to put some grub in your stomach, while we figure out what we’re - you’re going to do from here.”

Mew just raised his glass of water in acknowledgment. “Touché.”

Tul waved a hand to indicate Mild to continue as he started to slurp up his noodles. 

“Yeah, so… I was talking about Cathy yeah? So basically she told me that she didn’t know much about Byeol, but she knew there was no way Gulf would get engaged and not tell her about it, he didn’t even tell her that he was seeing someone, so this came out of the blue. That’s where we stopped that day. But the following day I managed to meet her for a quick coffee, and she shared that she was upset with her parents because they were so secretive and tight-lipped about the engagement as well. Apparently Byeol is the daughter of Mr. Kanawut’s childhood friend, who is also a big player in the gaming industry. So our hunch is that it might be a marriage of convenience. But for now, that’s what I know so far.”

Throughout the entire time, Mew had a contemplative look on his face. He finally spoke up.

“I did think of letting him go initially, like, I didn’t want to be a home-wrecker. I felt that it would be easier for Gulf if he woke up and didn’t remember me, he could continue living his life. But I remember having a conversation with him about this, and he was so hurt when I told him that I would put his happiness over mine anytime. He made a very fair and valid point then. One of the things he said too, was that if I were to make the decision for him, and take away his choice of making a decision, then what happens if I’m taking away his decision to be happy with me? Earlier this evening I remember feeling so lost and confused with everything, wanting to make the right decision for him, for myself, for everything. But then when I started thinking clearly in the shower I realized that all this thinking or overthinking was not only confusing me, it’s also totally redundant because at the end of the day I know that the right thing would be just to go to him and talk to him, be it whether he remembers me or not, instead of guessing and second-guessing. And, you made me realize that I probably came to the right conclusion after hearing what you shared. I mean... I know that we do not know the full story, therefore it’s also precisely _because_ we do not know the full story, that I should do what I’ve always said I would do. Communicate. So long story short, I decided that I would go with you to see him.” Mew left all these thoughts that felt so disjointed in his head pour out, and everything became clearer to him when he listened to himself speak. He looked up to see that the boys all had looks of approval in their eyes.

Saint was beaming. “Attaboy. We knew you would come to this conclusion eventually. Tul wanted to just give it to you straight earlier, but you were probably not going to process what we say unless you process it internally first. So we’re glad to see that you managed to sort out your thought process. Pretty quickly too, I’d say.”

Mild reached over and ruffled Mew’s hair. “Glad you came to that conclusion kiddo. Otherwise, I’d probably have whacked it into you. It’s so hard to see my best friend and childhood friend go through all these. But things will work out eventually, I’m sure of it. But tonight, or rather, what’s left of tonight, I guess we’ll all need to pack up since we have a flight to catch and hearts to mend tomorrow.”

\---

“...P’…. Mew, no. Don’t. Come back, Mew…. P’!” 

Miles away, a figure sat up in bed. Body drenched in sweat as he woke up from yet another dream? Nightmare?

Groaning at the splitting headache, Gulf buried his face in his hands. Reaching to his side where he kept the paper and pen, which he’d asked from the staff nurse earlier, there were scribbles on the paper random words from the first dream he had since he’d woken up from his coma: water, stream, pool, forest, walking beside someone. Gulf tried to write down the slipping remnants of the second dream. But nothing was sticking. The last thing he remembered was calling out to someone, could it be the same person as the one in the first dream? But he couldn’t visualize or understand what the dream was about anymore. The person who was in his dreams seemed familiar although he couldn’t see the face, he couldn’t seem to place a name to it, and discomfort churned in his stomach when he realized he couldn’t hold on to even that fading image of the stranger who has appeared in the dreams he’s had since waking up. 

He couldn’t remember how he even got into the accident in the first place. The throbbing in his head intensified as he tried to think past the brain fog that was settling in the space between his ears. He grabbed the glass of water beside him, chugging down the refreshing liquid and concentrating on the feeling of the water coursing down his throat. Lying back down on his bed, Gulf tried to will himself to breathe through the pain. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day.


	24. Chapter 24

The trip home went by like a dream. In Mew’s mind, the drive to the airport, departure, and arrival flew by in a hazy blur. Max and Zee were already at the airport awaiting their arrival, and Mew couldn’t help but compare that the mood was notably different from when he arrived at Chiang Mai airport a week ago. 

God, it’s only been a week, but he feels like his whole life has changed. 

Saint and Tul melted into their boyfriends' arms, the feeling of home settling over them like a warm, fuzzy blanket on cold mornings. Mew was happy to see his friends all back together, but weariness clung to him like a weighty cloak. His energy levels hovered dangerously low. 

Customary greetings exchanged, Mild slung an arm around his best friend. “I’m going to make sure that Mew gets home safe and sound. Max your boy looks like he’s about to pass from hunger, you better get some grub into his stomach soon.” He teased.

“Yeah, we’ll probably pop by KFC or McDonald’s here before the drive home. Are you guys sure you want to head home straight? Just join us for a bit, then we’ll head into BKK.”

Mew gave a tired smile, “I’d love to, but I think I’m a little too exhausted at the moment, sorry guys.” 

Everyone cuddled in for a group hug before sending Mew and Mild, who’d also declined the invitation for food, off on their way. They made arrangements to be there with the boys when they head down to the hospital later. 

On the way to the car park, Mild told Mew that he didn’t drive to the airport so he would drive them home in Mew’s car instead. For once Mew was glad that he didn’t have to think about navigating Bangkok’s traffic, especially in this state. “Don’t know if I ever told you this Mild, but you’re an incredible friend. All of you are, and I’m so darn lucky to have you guys.”

“That’s love for you, bro,” Mild smirked but reached over and gave Mew’s head an affectionate ruffle. 

“Ah! And you need to pick Chopper up from your Mom’s too right? Let’s do that since you have a chauffeur today.”

“You’re the best,” Mew mumbled as he finally felt that sleep beckoned at the edges of his consciousness, his body letting his defenses fall once he was in the familiar comfort of his car. 

Mild just turned the stereo on, the last song that Mew was listening to [came on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB0ordd2nOI&list=RDR2LQdh42neg&index=6), and a sense of tranquility filled the car. During the whole trip home, his mind churned with thoughts about his friends, there has to be a way about this because he strongly believes that there’s no such thing as ‘coincidence’. Everything happens for a reason, that’s how the universe is, filled with strings with a start and an end, intertwined, crisscrossed and entangled, every tug and pull affects everything in the net that was space-time. Each tug and pull is calculated and planned way before we even discover our purpose for being placed here on earth. So there must be a way, there will always be away. 

Before long, he pulled up to the driveway of the Suppasits’, which looked more like a mansion than a house, in his opinion. He could hear the high pitched barks of Chopper even before he stopped the engine. 

“Hey buddy, we’re here, wake up.” Mild shook Mew awake gently. Killing the engine before unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing out of the car once he saw that Mew was awake and was currently struggling to get his bearings. Leaving the car door open so that Chopper could clamber into the car, Mild went up to Mew’s mom to greet her. He loved the feeling of the family every time he came to visit.

“Mild, come on in, it is so hot today, do you want any coolers?” Mew’s mom offered as they made their way to the kitchen. “I’m amazed that Mew let you drive his baby today.” 

Everyone knew that Mew usually never let anyone take the wheel. So he wasn’t surprised when his mom asked. But… “umm, yeah Mew was feeling quite tired so I offered to drive, also since I didn’t drive to the airport it was easier for me to just drive us back.”

“I thought it was supposed to be a holiday, to relax.” Mew’s mom let out a charming laugh. “Anyway, it looks like our sleepyhead is up now.”

Mew made his way over, Chopper snug and happy in his arms.

Kissing his mom on her cheek, Mew nuzzled Chopper again before setting him down. Disgruntled, Chopper stood on his adorable hind legs, asking for more attention as he whined and tried to paw at Mew’s knees. “Ma, how was your week? And thanks for taking care of Chopper.”

Hearing that something was off in her son’s voice, she paused in the middle of serving the coolers for her boys. “Mew? Are you okay, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Erm…” Mew hesitated. He could never keep anything from his mom especially when she was looking at him with so much concern in her eyes. 

“Okay, let’s move to the living room, Mild get some of the cookies and bring them too.”

An hour later, Mew was sprawled on the sofa. Mild was still munching on the cookies as he filled her in on his version of the situation. Throughout the entire time, not once did Mew’s mom look like she doubted them and that gave them the boost they needed to continue updating her on the amazing journey. The only time she looked surprised was right at the beginning when Mew started by bluntly saying, “I don’t know how else to say this, but I fell in love with someone while he was in a coma. Ok, long story short. This is not going to make it sound less weird than it already is.. but.. basically he is-was a presence? A ghost or spirit of sorts - well he was when I met him - but we now know that he has woken up from his coma and hopefully well.” 

Props to his mom at this point because she just took a large chug of her cooler, set the glass down, and simply said, “ sounds incredible, the full story now please.”

At the end of the day, she just looked solemnly at Mew, her precious son. “All I can say is, as incredible as all these sound, I believe you, and I have the faith that you will try and work this out no matter how challenging the road ahead may seem. At the end of the day, you’re a Suppasit, so I know that you will do the right thing for you, and for him, no matter what your decision turns out to be I’ll always support you, we all will. The only thing I don’t want to happen is for you to run away just because you’ve been scared before. Staying and fighting for what is important takes courage, but it also takes wisdom to know when to push on and when to call it quits.”

\---

Later when he was back in his apartment, with Chopper sound asleep on the sofa beside him, Mew sat and mulled over all that’s happened and what's been said. 

Chopper whined and kicked out in his sleep, startling Mew out of his reverie. Fighting against the rising apprehension rising in him, Mew stood up and walked to the bathroom. He will be seeing Gulf in about 2 hours, in the flesh. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he sure was nervous as hell. Running his fingers through his hair, he ruffled his hair anxiously. Standing up, he walked to the bathroom, mentally preparing himself for what’s to come. 

\---

2 hours later…

“Do you think he’ll skip out?” Tul asked. Beside him, Max dug out some chips from the bag and fed them to Tul before taking some for himself. 

“Yeah Mew’s not going to run away, he’ll be here- Oh, hey Mew, over here!” Waving mew over to where they were all sat at a table on the lawn in front of the hospital, the boys were glad to see that Mew seemed more rested and relaxed than he was the earlier that day.

“Hey, thanks for coming. Are all of you coming up with us?” 

“No, we’ll wait here for you, Mild will go up with you because the hospital limits the number of visitors. But we’ll be here when you’re done, we’re just here to give you some support.” Zee explained.

“Thanks, guys, I don’t know if I am ready, or if I will ever be ready, so I’m just going to wing it. See you soon.” Mew took a deep breath, rubbing his chest where it felt just a tad too tight to bring air into his lungs. 

Saint stood up, engulfing him in a bear hug, the rest of the boys followed suit. “You’re got this. Now go, see you soon.”

\---

Upstairs, Gulf was awake and was in the middle of his late tea break, munching on freshly cut watermelons when his childhood friend, Mild, entered the room. 

“Hey Kanawut, how are you feeling man?” Mild asked upon entering, giving Gulf an affectionate ruffle on the head as he went to stand by the bed.

“Mild! Hey, thanks for coming. Mom and sis told me that you and your family came by last week. Thanks for coming to see me.” Gulf beamed. 

Behind Mild, Mew stepped into the room, his heart clenching at the familiar sound of Gulf’s voice.

“I’ll always be here, I’m just so sorry that I didn’t have time to spend more time with you the past few years, we’ve got a lot to catch up.”

“Yeah it’s ok, I totally under-” Gulf broke off when someone new stepped to Mild’s side. His breath caught in his throat, heart skipping a beat. “Erm, hi…”

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot to introduce you, this is my best friend, Mew Suppasit. He came with me today to see you when we heard that you’ve woken up from your coma.” Mild explained, feeling nervous, Mild wiped his suddenly sweaty palms against his jeans. 

Chancing a glance at Mew, he saw that Mew looked composed, but his smile held a hint of strain.  
As if in a daze, Gulf extended his hand to shake… Mew’s hand. Mew… This name…

Mew slid his hand against Gulf, feeling a spark when their palms came into contact with each other. Not the usual buzz he was used to, but a quick jolt of electricity which shook the both of them out of their stupor. 

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Mew. I’m sorry to hear about your accident, but I’m so glad to see that you’ve pulled through.” Mew said. He felt like he was miles away, his own voice sounded distant to his own year, faint over the pounding of his heart.

“T-thanks for coming by too, so nice of you.” Gulf trailed off, his gaze boring into Mew’s like he was searching for something. 

Mild cleared his throat when the silence, and the handshake, lasted for way longer than it should. 

Breaking out into nervous laughter, Gulf and Mew withdrew their hands, eyes still locked onto each other. 

“Erm, so how are you? Feeling- I mean, after you woke up.” Mew asked feeling out of his element as he tried to string together the words floating around in his head. His hands felt empty and all he wanted to do was gather Gulf in his arms again.

“Oh, I’ve been relatively well I suppose. I’m starting to get tired of lying in bed all day, but the doctors are still keeping tabs on me. I’ve been having these weird dreams thou-” Out of the blue, Gulf felt compelled to share about his dreams when suddenly, the door opened, and the strong scent of flowery perfume filled the room. 

“Gulfie!! You’re awake!” A girl’s voice came from the doorway, followed by the sound of plastic bags rustling. 

Surprised, all three pairs of eyes turned and landed on a petite, bubbly girl who entered the room. 

“Ah, Byeol, nice to see you again.” Mild gave a polite wave, feeling his skin prickle as the atmosphere in the room plummeted.

“Oh, P’Mild hello! Thanks for coming by to see Gulf.” The girl smiled sweetly. “Sorry, I’m Byeol, Gulfie’s fiancee, you are?” She extended her hand out to Mew and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Mew’s expression had turned to polite blandness as he greeted her. 

“I’m Mew, Mild’s best friend.”

Gulf had been watching the scene unfold in front of him. A sense of coldness and apprehension spreading across his chest. He could see that Mew was turning to leave- wait why was he feeling so nervous about Mew, and the girl on the other hand… Byeol? 

“Wait. You’re my fiancée? I don’t have a fiancée.” 

At that, an awkward silence fell across the room.


	25. Chapter 25

After the introduction, Mew felt the overwhelming urge to run but he opted to stand by the door instead, trying to think up some excuse so that he could just _leave_ the room. 

But upon hearing Gulf say that she wasn’t his fiancée, Mew’s head snapped back to the bed. Exchanging glances with Mild, Mew could see that Mild too, was confused. 

"W-what do you mean Gulfie? D-don’t you-u remember me?” Byeol stood to the side of the bed, panic lacing across her face, her posture stiff and still. 

Gulf frowned in concentration, and a feeling of unease lanced through his chest. 

Nothing came to mind; Gulf shook his head. “I’m sorry, but n-”

\---

Disjointed voices filtered in and out of his head. 

“ company secr- … just for a while- … don’t tell them- … what if-”

The voices overlapped and grew intensity until a shrill ringing sound started to build from the back of his head, growing louder until it overshadowed all the voices in his head. 

Gripping his head at the sudden pain that pierced right through his skull, Gulf curled upon himself. He did not hear the frantic sounds of his name being called out. Suddenly, everything stopped. Something-someone had touched his hand, and his body just reacted, he flinched and jolted back from the touch. However, the invasive feeling soon went away and another presence came by his side. 

\---

He felt safe and comforted. 

Slowly, he started to relax, his body unwinding from the defense pose. 

The headache that came so suddenly receded like a tide. 

After some time, he realized that there were no other sounds in the room, he opened his eyes and saw arms wrapped tightly around him. 

There were no movements, and the owner of those arms seemed to be holding their breath. 

He turned his head and saw… P’Mew?!

“Erm… Are you ok now?” Mew asked uncertainty and nervousness evident in his voice.

Gulf nodded. He felt hesitant to move or to say something that will cause the senior to release his hold on him. 

“Should I let go-?” Gulf immediately shook his head. He couldn’t explain the feeling of utter calm he felt with P’Mew, and he didn’t want to make it weirder than it probably seemed. He just knew that right now, nothing else mattered it felt like… he was home? He was…

“Safe.”

Mew smiled, feeling the knot of apprehension ease around his heart. “Okay, we can stay like this just a little more.”

Only then did Gulf realize that they were alone in the room. “Thanks, P’...”

Mew stiffened for a split moment before relaxing. “Why did you suddenly call me P’?”

“Ah, since you are Mild’s best friend, and he’s older than me, I just assumed that you are too. I think I remember him telling me about you and your group of friends, like a few years ago, when he still could spend time with us before... Well before life happened.” Gulf leaned comfortably in Mew’s arms as his mind took him back to times when things were simpler. 

Both shifted their weight and slotted against each other with such ease and familiarity that anyone who saw them now would naturally assume that they’ve probably been an item for a while, at least. 

“Erm… I am pretty sure I’ve never met any of Mild’s friends before. But you-… I keep getting this feeling as if I know you…” Gulf bit his lip, he was rarely so open and talkative to… anyone. So what is it about P’Mew that made him want to tell him everything? 

“I’m sorry… I know it’s probably strange and all that you’re meeting me for the first time, and you’ve got to go through all of this… insanity.” Gulf apologized, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 

Mew’s throat and heart felt like there was a fist tightening around it. He so badly wanted to just tell Gulf everything, but now’s not the time, and during Gulf’s breakdown earlier, his family had also just stepped into the room. They witnessed Gulf’s reaction to Byeol when she reached out to him, and they saw how Mew seemed to have automatically shifted into a protective stance when he reached Gulf in two strides and just... held him in his arms. At that moment, Gulf’s father ushered everyone out except Mew, but before he too left the room, he’d turn to Mew - who’s literally a stranger - and thanked him. Now that Mew had the time to think about it, he felt unsettled at how the family was just fine entrusting their son to a stranger.

“No, don’t apologize please, actually-”

“Gulf! You’re awake!” A chorus of voices reached the room as a handful of people suddenly came in, causing the two boys to jump apart in surprise. 

“Hi everyone! Sorry, I was just about to take my leave. See you later nong.” Mew smoothly got up from the bed and waved at the group as they stared at him with an awestruck expression on their faces.

“Wait! P’Mew!” Mew turned back to Gulf, who looked like he was blushing? 

“Will you come back later?”

“Yes, see you later, I’m just going to go look for Mild and your family.” 

Gulf’s eyes widened, ”my family was here?”

“Yup but they left when you were… resting earlier. So we will come back again later.” Gulf nodded, feeling reassured.

As Mew left the room, he could hear Gulf’s friends chittering away. “Who was that Gulf?- Why didn’t you introduce him to us before, he’s so good-looking! Is he sing-” 

Shaking his head in amusement, Mew made his way to the lift landing, their voices trailing behind him. 

Checking his phone, Mew saw that Mild had texted to let him know that everyone was in the cafe across the road. 

\---

Arriving at the cafe, Mew found out that when Mild said 'everyone', he really meant _everyone_. Gulf’s family, Mild’s family, and the boys practically took up the entire space in the cafe. 

Once the round of introductions was done, Mew pulled up a chair and took a seat. 

Gulf’s dad spoke up. “So, Mr. Suppasit, thanks for taking care of my boy back there. You seemed very familiar with him, even though I have not heard him mention you before. We usually know all his friends.”

Mew gulped, he was so not ready for this conversation especially in front of such a big group. Apart from the sound of the coffee machine, the quiet in the cafe suddenly became glaringly obvious, Mild’s family who already knew Mew, looked on with curiosity, while the boys looked on with wide eyes, bodies turned subtly towards Mew, subconsciously ready to jump in for Mew anytime. 

“Mr. Kanawut, actually would you mind just calling me Mew? Also, erm this is the first time I’m meeting your son, as I came to accompany Mild to see him.” Well, that was the half-truth as this is really the first time he was seeing Gulf in the flesh, and now, he had to explain his actions. 

“Also I’m not sure why I reacted that way, I just saw that he suddenly seemed disoriented and panicked, and somehow my first reaction was to try and keep him grounded.”

“Ok, Mew. But when we entered, we saw Ms. Kim touching him, yet he flinched from her, and you thought it would be a good idea to pull him into a hug? What if he had reacted adversely to you and hurt himself or you?” Gulf’s dad stared unflinchingly at Mew.

Mew called on his years of acting to maintain eye contact with him, hoping to convey his sincere intentions to him, but inside he felt like he was treading on dangerous grounds.

Keeping his voice steady, Mew replied “I just went with my instinct sir, also Ms. Kim claimed that she is his fiancee and he denied it, which seemed to be what triggered his reaction. I see your point now, that it might have been a risky chance, but if I were to do that again, I would.” 

This whole situation was probably way out of the realm of what was considered normal, yet surprisingly everyone dealt with it with relative calm, so much so that Mew felt off-center and ten steps behind.

Gulf’s dad held Mew’s gaze for a while longer before he nodded his head in acknowledgment and addressed Mew, followed by the group at large. “That’s a fair call, and thank you again for calming him down earlier. Actually, when he first woke up he had a few episodes that morning, but he seemed calmer and more settled as the day went on, the doctors believe that his brain is re-processing his memories so it might cause a sensory overload on his nervous system, and especially when it comes to things that hold less than pleasant memories for him, his system goes into a fight-flight mode. So depending on his speed of recovery and processing, doctors are advising that he stay in the hospital for the week so that they can observe him. But in the meantime, thank you for coming to visit him even though you might not know him personally.” 

“No, not at all, we’ve heard so many stories about him through Mild that we feel like we kind of know him too,” Saint replied smoothly as Tul and the other boys nodded in agreement, not trusting themselves to speak.

Gulf’s dad was about to say something in response when his phone lit up where it lay on the table. Excusing himself, he glanced at his screen before standing to leave. “Thank you for coming by again, but I have some matters to take care of, so we will have to leave first, oh and don’t worry about the bill, we’ve already settled it. We hope to see you soon.” After formally exchanging their goodbyes, the Kanawuts stood up and left the cafe. 

The silence didn’t last for long as Mild’s mom started asking all the boys for updates on their lives. 

\---

In the car, the Kanawut’s driver drove them home as Mr. Kanawut scrolled through the report sent by his security. 

Name: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat  
D.O.B: Feb 21, 1991  
Occupation: Photographer, Actor, Student (pH.D)   
Status: Single  
Orientation: Pansexual  
Criminal records: None

(more information)

…

Additional comments:  
Mr. Mew Suppasit and Mr. Gulf Kanawut have a few mutual acquaintances in common, through the alumni of Chulalongkorn University.   
Neither of them has contacted these acquaintances within the past one year.   
The closet acquaintance is Mr. Mild Suttinut.  
There is no history of records of interaction between Mr. Mew Suppasit and Mr. Gulf Kanawut.  
No additional data were available.


	26. Chapter 26

That night, after Mild, his family, and his friends left, Gulf lay awake in the semi-darkness. 

His mind running a mile a minute. 

It’s been such a long day, and he was honestly exhausted. Plus although it felt amazing to see all the familiar faces and new faces, socializing was taking a toll on him. 

On top of that, he had a nagging feeling that he was missing out on something extremely crucial and he couldn’t put his finger on it. The feeling came to the forefront of his mind when he thought back to the visit from his colleagues. 

\---

“We’re so glad to know that you’re doing better! Got all of us worried there for a while when we heard how bad the accident was.” P’Tee ruffled Gulf’s hair before stepping away to open the windows so that fresh air could permeate the room. “Happy that you’re awake now, but we _did not_ expect to see a hot guy climbing out of the bed.” He teased as the rest chorused “uiii”.

Gulf could feel his ears burning even though he knew that his colleagues were just teasing him. Strangely he didn’t even want to defend himself, not that there was anything wrong, to begin with, but he knew that he generally didn’t like misunderstandings or rumors to spread, but he let it slip this time.

“Yeah, we came by to see how you were doing last week and all of us were so worried that you wouldn’t wake up!” P’Jane wailed as she threw herself at the edge of the bed.

“P’Jane has been taking on so much of your work Gulf, she said that she honestly doesn’t know how you managed to code so quickly.” P’Tong leaned against the wall lazily. He was the senior who pulled him on board the project. Gulf had been reluctant to do any projects with the company before taking his masters, but this project was the biggest one that the organization, _8Studio_ , has undertaken, and P’Tong who’s been a close friend and mentor for so many years, begged him to join the team. 

Gulf was happy to feel that he did contribute to the project on his own merit and was recognized for his skills instead of feeling like people assumed that he could get by just because his father owned the company.

The whole team, including the team leader was friendly and cordial with him until they witnessed how competent he was with his computer skills, and respect, admiration and mutual friendships grew from there. Gulf had been upfront with his father from the time he went on board with the project, and his dad was vocal with his support although he was worried in the beginning that Gulf had too much to manage on his plate; juggling work while completing his final year of studies. 

“Heeyyy, I could manage ok? Well… Ok not really I was starting to struggle with some of the design aspects for the weapons upgrade and stuff that you drafted out.” P’Jane finally admitted sheepishly. “The project was running ahead of time with you on the team and now we can see that the pace has slowed dramatically. Good thing P’Tong called you to join us though, or else we wouldn’t have been able to meet the deliverables set by the investors.” 

“We get that they invested such a large sum of money, but they have to understand that we’re literally at the frontier of gaming. I mean, being able to be _in the game itself_ , where the characters can feel, see, taste, touch, smell everything that is in the game like they were living it, is incredible and no one’s tried this before.” P’Tee said excitedly, totally forgetting that he was not aalowed to talk about the project in public.

Another voice came from the doorway. “Gentle reminder not to talk about the project outside of the office Tee.” P’Llhong cautioned as he entered the room. He was the team leader of the game development division.

P’Tee had covered his face as he apologized for his mistake. P’Jane tried to comfort him. “It’s ok, we’ll just be more careful next time and anyway, there are only nurses and doctors around, so it’s not like there will be people listening.”

P’Llhong gave her a cold look. “Doesn’t mean that it could still get leaked accidentally and give other companies a chance to know what we are doing.”

P’Tong chimed in, “okay we get it, we’ll just be more careful next time. But can we drop this for now please? The main reason we're here is to see Gulf today, so let’s not forget that, and let’s not overwhelm him. He still needs to rest up and recover, so we also shouldn’t stay too long and tire him out.”

The rest agreed, and Gulf gave his friend a smile to convey his gratitude. The group stayed for a while longer before they left to let Gulf rest. 

P’Tong was the last to leave the room. Just as he was about to reach the door, he turned around, ruffled Gulf’s hair before patting him on his arm, “I’m really glad that you’re alive and well. I’ll come by tomorrow or something, try and have a good rest tonight.”

“I’m glad too, and thanks for coming by to see me today,” 

“Not at all dude, anyway do you want me to leave the light on, or to turn it off?” P’Tong asked.

“I’m probably going to rest now, so you can turn it off, thanks.”

P’Tong gave him a 2-fingered salute and left the room. 

Turning on his side, Gulf felt something catch on the inner seam of his sleeve. 

Pulling the blanket over his shoulder to ward off the chilly air, Gulf used that movement to slide his fingers under his sleeve to retrieve… a note? He didn’t know why he felt the need to be so sneaky, but he managed to retrieve the tiny scrap of paper. 

There was still enough light coming in from the streets, so maneuvering himself in such a way that allowed him to read the note as he held it just beneath the flap of the blanket, he could faintly make out the words on it. 

‘Not sure how much you remember.  
Important: Trust no-one.  
Be careful.’

Keeping his hands under the blanket, Gulf tore the note up into tiny pieces and reached over to throw the note into a bin just beside the bed.

\---

In front of the monitor, a figure sat watching the screen, and seeing that Gulf seemed to just be fidgeting to find a good position to sleep, the person turned back to the split-screen and continued to send the latest coded sections to another location.

\---

The rest of the night passed in a haze for Gulf as he drifted between sleep and wakefulness, unable to shake off the feeling of someone tracking his every move.

Finally, just before dawn, just as he was on the cusp of sleep, another major piece of the puzzle seemed to fall into place in his mind. With that, he managed to fall into a deep dreamless sleep. 

A few hours later, when the sun was just about to take its place in the middle of the sky, Gulf shoved up in a sitting position, body drenched in sweat as someone frantically patted him down with a cold, damp cloth. 

His sister, Cathy, sat by the side of the bed, her makeup sporting a clear track where her tears have paved a way down her cheeks. 

“Idiot! I couldn’t wake you up, and I’ve been trying to do that for the past hour but you were stuck in a nightmare and I hated that I couldn’t get to you.” 

“I’m sorry Cath, didn’t mean to frighten you.” Gulf rasped, his throat felt like it was burning up as he tried to speak. 

“No- Don’t talk yet, you’ve been crying and whimpering a lot in your sleep, so you’ll need to drink some water first. I’m going to fix my makeup. I was so afraid that you were going to shock your system into another coma.” She accused as she stood up and made her way to the connecting bathroom. She refused to cry again now what she knew the scare was over. Wiping off her makeup and traces of her tears, she popped her head around the door, “by the way, you keep asking P’Mew to stay. Were you dreaming of the same P’Mew whom we all met yesterday?”

“Huh? I didn’t even know that I was having a dream. I was calling out his name?” Gulf blushed, wondering what kind of dream it was even. That’s embarrassing, he only met the guy yesterday and already he’s dreaming of him?!

“Yeah, but in a way that made me feel… like you were heart-broken? I can’t explain the sound, but it’s like a wounded animal whimpering you know? But you were asking him to stay.” She came back into the room and sat beside him, holding his hand in her soft palms.

“You two were not secretly seeing each other behind our backs were you?” Seeing that Gulf was about to protest, Cathy shushed him,” let me finish. The reason why I am saying this is because I’ve never even heard of him before yesterday when you were dreaming of him as well, I didn't put much stock on the name, but it was too much of a coincidence when he came and introduced himself as Mew, I almost fell off the chair when I heard that. Ok, no wait, I think I remember P’Mild talking about him before, but super briefly. And all of a sudden, since you woke up yesterday, the only name I’ve heard coming from you so far, is P’Mew. You also immediately calmed down when he was hugging you during your breakdown, when in comparison with your first few breakdowns you had to be sedated, so those were red flags for me. Plus the way he just went to you immediately and hugged you, looked like it’s something he’s done before. So that is why I want to ask if you were seeing each other before, but did not tell anyone for whatever reason.”

Gulf looked straight into his sister’s eyes. Knowing that he was telling the truth, yet a part of him felt immense discomfort when he said, “I swear we were not secretly dating, but these were some of the dreams I’ve had before, or well, I tried to record what I could but when I’m fully awake, I forget them." He passed her the paper that he kept at the side of the bed, "but it is true that I feel extremely comfortable with him. I am pretty sure that I’ve not met him before, but with parts of memory still missing, I can’t be totally sure.”

“Okay, I believe you, but I felt I just needed to verbalize it to you and ask you directly.”

"Also, back up a minute, you say that I've been dreaming of him since I woke up from my coma?"

Cathy nodded, but just as she was replying, a fragment of his dream, or it could be a random thought popped into his mind, capturing his attention completely. 

It seemed like a familiar location, he was lying under the stars with someone, and a voice that sounded strangely like P’Mew’s resonated by his ear, _‘No matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, I will find you. Be it in this lifetime, or the next. Perhaps, you can say that it is crazy, but I have never met anyone else who completes me the way you do. I believe if we met this way, it was meant to be.’_


	27. Chapter 27

“...Gulf?... P', wake up! Can you hear me?... Gulf?” 

He felt like he was sinking into a dark recess of his mind, the more he struggled the faster he sank. Just like being in quicksand. 

He wanted to speak up and tell his sister that he could still hear her, but no matter how hard he tried and strained against the invisible restraints of his mind, he could not do anything except succumb to whatever fate led him to. 

“G?... Nong, can you hear me?”

His head was pillowed on something warm and solid. Opening his eyes, he looked up to see the bright blue sky above him, a gentle breeze blew across his skin. Even though he did not know where he was, he still felt safe somehow.

“Ground control to Major Tom... I lost count of the number of times I’ve called your name by now.” The person beside him joked. His voice was familiar. But the glare of the sun was in his eyes and he couldn’t make out the features of the mystery person beside him. Turning his head fully, he finally noticed that he was not lying on the ground, and was, in fact lying on the person’s lap. 

Surprised, Gulf tried to scramble up, only to be gently helped up in a seated position. 

“You could still lie on my lap you know? You weigh as much as air.” The person spoke up again, laughter evident in his voice. 

“Erm, sorry I-”

Tsking, the owner of that smooth velvety voice interrupted, “stop apologizing for every single thing G, I told you, you don’t ever have to apologize for being you, and you need to learn that you deserve all the good things.”

The glare of the sun was no longer in his eyes, lifting his eyes from his lap, Gulf brought his gaze up, slowly taking in the vision of the fine figure that was sprawled across the grass, from the man's strong thighs, to his firm abdomen, up to his chest, his chin and just as he was about to look into the guy’s eyes-

“Gulf! C’mon! Stop zoning out like this.” His sister’s voice finally broke through the vision he was trapped in. 

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened, you were saying something at first, and then I had a vision of…” Gulf tried to search through his memories, the feeling that something immensely important was just within his reach, but the vision kept alluding him. “... sh… I can’t remember anymore.”

Frustration welled up in him as he struggled to grasp the elusive strings of the image in his mind. 

“Don’t strain yourself too much P’. The doctors said that it will all come to you in due time and there’s no point forcing the memories that your mind has blocked out.” Cathy said gently, but the frown that marred her forehead gave away her worries. 

“It’s just frustrating you know? It's like I feel that the puzzle pieces are in front of me but I can’t… I can’t grasp them or put them in the right place. It feels like I’m chasing after shadows or ghosts, and each time I think that I can finally put the pieces together, it falls apart all over again.” Gulf admitted as he buried his face in his hands. 

“But there’s nothing that I can do for now. Anyway, sis, I thought that you had an event to attend today? Why don’t you go home and get prepared for it? I’ll be fine for now, but I think I do need some space and time to try and put things into perspective.”

Looking at her watch, his sister agreed that she actually would need to rush off. Tucking her brother in, she promised to come by again in the morning, before stepping out of the room. 

Letting the door close behind her, she sent a text to a new number before contacting her driver. She hoped she was making the right decision.

\---

Across town, Mew was heading home after his brunch meeting with his professor. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone has been following him since his trip to the hospital yesterday. Pulling up to his condo, Mew was about to take a left turn once he passed security when through his rearview mirror, he saw a familiar car model drive pass. He pulled into his slot and stayed in his car for a few minutes, mulling over a way to check if someone was indeed keeping tabs on him. Grabbing his mobile, he sent a quick text to Max to come by his apartment and was surprised to receive a quick affirmative response, as Max and Tul were just in the area as well.

It didn’t take them long to reach Mew’s place and soon the 3 of them were sat in the living room with hot mugs of coffee in front of them. The moment Max and Tul entered the apartment and greeted Mew, Max held a finger to his lips and signaled for Mew to pass him his bag. Max then took a hand-held device and scanned through all the contents in the bag before removing another small device from a black case and activating it with a quick click. 

Mew and Tul just watched as Max went through the motions. 

Once Max kept his equipment away, Mew spoke up. “Ok, hold up, I have not said anything yet and you already read my mind about what I was going to ask you?”

“Yeah, I guess that it’s a job hazard for me, so just to fill you in, what happened yesterday…”

\---

“... I mean, let’s just see what happens…” Tul was deep in discussion with the gang while they waited for Mew to arrive.

Max was scanning his surroundings, eyes hidden behind his shades, his body seemingly relaxed, but every fiber of his being was alert. He knew that they were being watched and have honed in, to a guy on a bench not too far from them with a book in his hand, and who in the past thirty minutes have not turned a single page.

Another suspect was an inconspicuous car in the car park where the driver appeared to be taking a nap. He could be completely wrong, but after years of being in the service and now with his own private firm, he knew that he could trust his instincts. 

His gut seemed to prove him right when he noticed that the two men changed their posture to one that reflected alertness. Within minutes, Mew pulled up to the hospital. 

The next question then was, who were these people and who were they really watching?

\---

“... so that was the gist of it. I decided to do a bit of digging last night and managed to get some answers. I was thinking of telling you all this when I had something more concrete. But you texted this morning, and then I had a feeling it might be related to this, so I decided to take some precautions.” Max finished off his explanation. Tul was completely calm, so Mew assumed that Max already had this discussion with his boyfriend.

“Ok, that explained it, so what was with all the tests that you were doing earlier?” 

“Well, what I found out last night was that your records have been accessed twice within a day and from two different sources. They both covered their tracks well and had their position bouncing all over the globe, so it will take some time to narrow the search of the pings. Long story short, it solidified my idea that they are looking at you, and the question is who and why. Your records were accessed the day Gulf woke up, but you only made your appearance yesterday which brings up even more questions, one of which is, is this something that is Gulf related? Or is it simply a coincidence that someone was looking you up the same day that Gulf woke up? This then brings me to my next point. So if someone was looking you up, it would mean that they might need something from you, or that you are considered a threat. The next plausible step would be to place a tracker or a mic on you, or in your property, so I was just doing a quick scan to pick up on the possibility of a bug on you. The other device I activated was just to stop any signals entering and leaving this space so we can have complete privacy for our discussion. Tul and I checked with security before coming up earlier and could confirm that no new faces appeared in the last two days, we also checked the security footage and didn’t see anything suspicious. So when you messaged me, I was actually already here in the building with the security team, and now, tell us about why you texted me.” 

Throughout the detailed breakdown and explanation, Tul had started to look more and more enamored with his boyfriend. Noticing it, Max gave Tul a light shove on the shoulder. 

“Cut it out, I’m working.” Max murmured. He knew his boyfriend well and the heated looks he’s getting are starting to throw him off-center as well. 

“You’re deliciously hot when you get into your serious mode babe,” Tul replied cheekily, attempting to tone down the rising _want_ for Max to just take control of him.

“Guys, I’m still here.” A hint of amusement reflected in Mew’s tone brought their attention to the matter at hand. 

“Oops, sorry. Tul, later.” Max promised dark eyes glinting with promise, and Mew noted with surprise that that seemed to do the trick for Tul, who just nodded obediently and turned his attention back to Mew.

“Huh, kinky, Okay, so that happened was that since yesterday I did feel like I was being watched, but I think I felt more certain about it when I noticed the same car yesterday and today. Or it could be just any other car but I couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched, so I automatically linked it together and decided to get you-” Mew broke off when Max’s phone rang. 

“Sorry, this is important, one minute.” Max took a look at the caller ID and lifted his index finger even as he answered the call.

“... I see, okay… Got it, thanks.” 

Ending the quick call, Max looked contemplative for a moment. 

“Alright, so that was my contact who was working on tracing the pings. So one mystery is solved. One side which did a background check on you appears to be the Kanawuts. How they knew about you before you arrived is a big question now. But they were not burying their pings as deeply as the other unknown party. I feel like we are unwrapping layers of the onion now. Let’s see how deep this rabbit hole goes.”


	28. Chapter 28

Somewhere on the other side of the rabbit hole, a figure kept an eye on the security cameras in the building while their partner finished copying the final set of files from the master folder. 

Just as the security guard for the complex, completed his round and was making his way back to the security room, the accomplices completed their tasks and left the property stealthily. 

The moment they entered their vehicle parked a few blocks away, one of them made the call. 

The call went through answered after the first ring.

“Mr. Kim, we’ve got the files, but the data is still incomplete. We will send it to you within the hour. As for the rest, we’ll figure it out.”

\---

After Max and Tul left his apartment, Mew mulled over his options. At this point, it could roll any way, and it’s not like he could walk up to Gulf and ask him anything when Gulf is still fighting to regain his memories. Either Gulf’s dad was super protective of his son? Or the Kanawuts were that high profile as game developers? Or it could be something else entirely. 

Mew felt like the stakes just went up, would it be worth it in the end? Well, that felt almost like a non-question. 

Just thinking about Gulf and how he feels when he is with him feels like answer enough. And, he’s made his decision to stay unless Gulf tells him otherwise.   
There’s so much more than meets the eye, but he’s sure that everything will come to light sooner or later. 

As if feeling his distress, Chopper whimpered and clambered onto the sofa to wriggle his way onto his lap.   
Providing support the only way he knew how to, by being close to his owner.   
Heart warmed by the comfort of having Chopper close to him, Mew gathered him in his arms, letting his thoughts settle, content to pass the time in this manner. 

\--

Later that day, Mew went by to the hospital again, this time on his own. 

Entering the sterile room, Mew enjoyed the sight of Gulf’s face lighting up in recognition and delight the moment Gulf laid his eyes on him, he then noticed the attempt that Gulf made to tone down his expression and that was even more endearing to him. 

“P’Mew! You came! Is P’Mild coming up?” Gulf inquired. He looked behind Mew as if expecting Mild to show up. 

“No, It’s just me today, actually. Is that ok?” Mew asked. Suddenly worried that Gulf might find it weird that he was there alone. 

“No that’s fine, I was getting bored out of my mind and I’m glad you came by.” Gulf went on to talk about his sister’s visit in the morning, the blandness of the hospital food, and his thoughts on sneaking out for a snack. “-so I was thinking that there might be a possibility that no one would know that I’m a patient if I can get into my own clothes and just pop down to the cafeteria.” He concluded with an impish grin. 

Laughing, Mew reached out to ruffle Gulf’s hair without a thought. 

Somehow during Gulf’s updates about his day, Mew had found himself settling on the edge of the bed, captured by the array of emotions that drifted across Gulf’s face as he talked. 

“Is there something on my face?”

“No, why? Do you feel that there is something there?”

“No… But you’re not saying anything now and you're just… staring at me... So I wondered if there’s something that caught your eye.” Gulf blushed. “I don’t mean it _that way_ , but, ok I’m not going to make it sound worse than it is. You know what I mean.”

“You’re too adorable,” Mew uttered. Apparently his brain-mouth filter had seemingly disappeared.

Gulf remained quiet. Unsure of how to react.

“Ok I could say that I was joking and take that back, but I’m not going to. So just say ‘thank you for the compliment’ and we could leave it at that.” Mew’s tone was light and cheeky, but his eyes conveyed his seriousness. 

“Well.” Gulf bit his lip. “Thank you for the compliment then.”   
“Before you say anything else though… Are you by chance… Flirting with me?” By then Gulf’s face had turned beet red.   
“Ok, I think I am usually not that straight forward, but something about you makes me want to just… say what I want to say you know? Like now. I am probably rambling because I’m feeling awkward like we just met yesterday and then you have to deal with me being all weird and-”

“Gulf breathe.” Mew’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Yes I’m flirting with you, no it’s not awkward, yes we just met yesterday but I feel like we already know each other,” Well that would be the understatement of the century, Mew thought ruefully to himself. “I like that you are totally honest with me, makes me feel like I can do the same. Is this a good response so far?” Gulf nodded. “So you can just relax and breathe now ok?” Mew reached over and bopped Gulf on his upturned nose, enjoying the way Gulf wrinkled his nose in response. 

“Ok, wow, that feels refreshing and liberating actually,” Gulf admitted.

“What does?”

“The fact that this is the first time I’m just asking if someone is flirting with me, and I have no idea if you are even into guys or if you are in a relationship-”

“-I’m not, but you are.” 

Gulf raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Sorry I interrupted. But while I realized that I am single, it is highly inappropriate for me to flirt with someone else who is in a relationship, and I’m sorry about that.”

“Wait, no. I’m not in a relationship. I mean- I’m sorry I just don’t quite remember that I was seeing someone special, I would think? But… I have been having dreams about someone and I feel more with the person in my dreams than I do with- Yikes I’m sorry this probably sounds extremely awful. It’s also probably going to be yet another check of the list of inappropriate things that I could possibly say right now.” Gulf grimaced. “This is when I’d appreciate for my filter to be on again.”

“Okay let’s do this, let’s call it a truce because even though I lo- like seeing how candid you are, I don’t want you saying things that you could regret in future. So first things first, I’m going to ask the nurse, if you are allowed to take walks to give your legs a stretch after being bed-bound for so long. We can’t go far though,” Mew said quickly when he saw how Gulf’s eyes were starting to light up again. “We need to let your body get accustomed to being on land-legs again so let’s just take it step by step alright?”

“Sounds amazing!”

“Alright, so first step. Nurse.”

In the end, the boys did make it to the garden. Gulf started out on wobbly legs at first, Mew laughed so hard when Gulf moaned that he now could empathize with Ariel, The Little Mermaid when she first exchanged her sea-legs for her land-legs. Soon with Mew’s assistance, he slowly inched his way down the hall, getting cheered on by the nurses as the nurses passed them. Apparently Gulf’s reputation preceded him as during the time he was in a coma, he’d gained the reputation of The Sleeping Beauty. Needless to say, when some of the nurses passed them, a few walked away with rosy pink cheeks after seeing Gulf up close and in the flesh. 

“You’re going to go around breaking hearts here,” Mew teased, “and you’re doing that just by existing.” He pressed the button for the elevator. “You’re doing alright still yes? So we’ll try to go downstairs. Let me know if you start to feel tired?”

“I’m fine still. But I will tell you if I do feel tired. Anyway, speak for yourself Mr. Model. Have you seen all the looks you’ve been getting, I won’t be surprised that you’ll leave the hospital with more than one mobile number handed to you-”

“-Wait a moment… this look on your face… so tell me, how many numbers did you get when you came to visit me yesterday?”

Mew ducked his head down sheepishly. “Erm, a few tried to slip me their numbers when I left, but I tried to politely decline.” The lift doors opened. 

“Hah! I knew it, Mr. Suppapopular.” Gulf laughed as he entered the lift, while Mew froze for a moment but hurrying to catch up, entering just as the doors were about to close.

“That’s not my surname.” 

“Yeah I know,” Gulf said flippantly, a grin still spread across his face. As the realization of what he said sank in, the smile slowly slipped off his face as well. “Oh, wait, I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that. It just slipped out.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just surprised because my family name is Suppasit-”

“-Suppasit”

They both uttered it at the same time. Gulf’s eyes went wide before he laughed it off. “I guess my memory isn’t so bad after all. Just amazed that I somehow could remember your family name after one introduction. Also, I’m pretty sure Mild mentioned it before too.”

“That’s a good sign that your short time memory and long term memory are still pretty intact. But I was just taken aback for a moment because it’s usually my friends who like to tease me by changing my surname.” Mew replied smoothly, pushing the jolt of hope down. For a moment he thought that Gulf would by some miracle start to remember him, but it was still too early to tell. 

The lift chimed, signaling that they were on the ground floor. 

Walking in companionable silence for a few minutes, Gulf turned to Mew, “thanks for coming on an adventure with me, you’ve made my day ten- no, a hundred times better!” Something beckoned at the back of his head when he said ‘adventure’, somehow it felt familiar.

“An adventure with you? You’re sure a way of seeing the world, it’s so refreshing. I’m always up for an adventure, so it’s my pleasure.”


	29. Chapter 29

“I think you’re the first person I’ve met who likes to use the word ‘adventure’.” Mew mused as they slowly strolled in the garden. 

Stretching his arms above his head, Gulf gave himself a good stretch, enjoying the heat of the sun on his skin. 

“Feels good to be out after being in the room with nothing to do,” Gulf confessed. “About using the word ‘adventure’ it is always all about perspective, no? Going to the supermarket can also be an adventure, you’ll never know what will happen, who you might meet, and so on, and so forth.”

“You’re precious.” 

“Eh?” Gulf turned to look at Mew, surprise evident in his gaze before he laughed, “you’ve got a way with words huh.”

“Just the truth,” Mew replied smoothly. 

“Yeah, yeah, be careful with your words, or else you’d make me fall for you.” Gulf teased. 

A sudden image flashed across his mind. A glimpse of a veiny hand, the side of a chiseled jawline.

Gulf suddenly stopped in his tracks, hand flying up to the side of his head as he gripped his head when pain suddenly lanced through the left side of his head.

“Gulf!” 

Everything went black.

\---

Images, or memories, starting flooding his mind.

Night skies, long conversations, walks, the family house, new… friends? But they all looked familiar. 

The voices and images came so fast, and so suddenly, that everything felt like a blur. 

Then the carousel of images finally slowed until it stopped on a familiar scene that he’s dreamt of a few times.

He was looking up at the bright blue sky above him, a gentle breeze blew across his skin. This place was familiar to him now. 

Before turning his head, he knew that the person whose face he could never seem to see was going to be beside him. 

They were lying side by side, both had an arm pillowed below their heads. But this time around, something was different.

“I know you.” Was the first thing Gulf said. 

“Oh! G? Or can I call you Gulf now?” P’Mew teased as he turned to look at him. 

“I- I don’t understand what’s happening. Is this a memory?” 

“Hmmm, it's a mix of memory and what your subconscious pulled together. So you can say that we are in your subconscious now. I’ve just been here, waiting for you to slowly regain the missing pieces of your memory in bits and pieces, but you managed to get to this stage a lot faster than I anticipated.” There was so much to the mystery that Gulf wanted to uncover, but he knew he had to be patient. 

“So are you the real Mew, or a figment of his subconscious at least? You know like data that just linked mine-”

“Ok let’s not go into data-talk.” P’Mew pursed his lips. “We could say that I’m also a figment of your subconscious, pulled together from fragments of memories you have of me. My role here is to help you remember. And boy, do you have a lot to remember.“

P’Mew paused for a moment. “I’m going to tell you a story, but I don’t know if you will retain the information. Your brain speed in terms of processing information is already a lot faster than most, but we still don’t know what that entails when it comes to recovering pieces of your memory.”

“Ok, I’m ready. But before you start, I just want to say… I’m sorry I forgot about you and the role you played in my life. I know you are not the real P’Mew, but I still want to apologize to you here first.”

Reaching over, P’Mew flicked Gulf on the tip of his nose. “Silly boy, do that to the real me when you wake up. But, see? The way you are handling all this is not what most people would do, or how they would react, but you are already taking the information presented to you and sorting it out calmly. So let me give you more clarity here.”

“When you met with the accident - and I know you have not regained the memory of that yet but you will soon - you didn’t die, you just… existed on a different plane and in a different form. We could say that your soul astral projected to your initial intended destination that you were traveling towards. The family villa-”

“The family villa,” Gulf muttered. More pieces of the puzzle started falling into place, the room, the pool, the hills. 

“Yes, and I said astral projection, which means that this was intentional. Not to your conscious mind, but this was something that your soul knew it needed to do. We all come to this earth with a soul purpose, this might be too much to explain and to go into detail right now, but let’s just say that you and me, well, Mew’s soul, already made an agreement when you were both in Source - before you came to earth to start your journeys - that you would meet each other. By the time you both reached this point of the appointed meeting time, you would have forgotten the details, but your soul would still remember its task. With me so far?” P’Mew assessed his reaction before continuing. 

“So during the time you went to your family villa, you met me - him in his physical form, there and now your task is to remember. The rest will follow and will fall into place.”

For a long moment, Gulf was silent and still. He closed his eyes as the universe within him froze, then settled in place. 

The world held its breath for a moment when the moment of alignment happened. 

He took a deep breath, then another. 

Everything that were blank spaces or pieces of information that were floating around in his head finally fit into all their rightful places. 

Opening his eyes, he met P’Mew’s hazel eyes. 

Before he could say anything, P'Mew looked deeply into his eyes and nodded in acknowledgment.

“Welcome back, Gulf Kanawut.” 

“Wait-”

His world went black once more. 

\---

He knew he was lying down.

Slowly he tried to move his limbs. Everything felt normal. Heavy, but normal. 

He took note of the light behind his eyelids as he tried to open his eyes. 

Groaning at the bright light shining down on him, Gulf immediately closed his eyes again.

“Gulf, hey. Hey, take it easy. I’ll get you some water.” The calm deep timber of P’Mew’s voice came from the left side of his bed. Turning his head to the side, Gulf opened his eyes again, this time he felt better since he was not staring into the bright light of the overhead lamp. 

“P-... P’Mew.” Gulf called out. He tried to sit up and immediately a strong pair of arms was there to support him. 

“Shush, drink some water first.” A cool glass was held to his lips as Mew carefully guided the angle of the glass to feed him water. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have brought you down to the garden, it was probably too much for your system and when you fainted-” Mew’s throat closed off as the remembered panic hit him in the gut again. 

“Hey.. hey, I’m fine. I’m sorry I gave you a fright.” Gulf rushed to reassure him. His head felt like stuffed cotton. “So, I passed out huh, did I hit my head again?” Gulf tried to joke. 

“Not funny G, but thank god you didn’t hit your head. I managed to catch you before you crumpled to the ground.” 

“My hero- Wait, something very important happened earlier. But I-” Like a key fitting into a lock, all the information and knowledge he gleaned in the past few minutes filled his head.

“P’Mew how long was I out for?” 

“About 2 hours, I was so worried.”

“Huh, it didn’t feel like 2 hours, it felt like mere minutes. Wait P’Mew, I need to tell you something.” The heavy tone in Gulf’s voice alerted Mew that something was up.

“I know you.”

“Eh? Yeah of course you know me, I mean- we met through Mild when I came to visit you.” 

Was that a hint of pain he saw in P’Mew’s eyes? Gulf wondered. 

“No, P, I mean, I _know_ you. I’m sorry I forgot, and I’m sorry I disappeared on you that way.”

“Wait… G…?” Emotion welled up within Mew and expressed as tears that prickled the corners of his eyes when he understood what Gulf meant.

Nodding in that adorable manner of his, his fringe flopping into his eyes, Gulf gave a small smile. 

“Yeah I'm G... I’m so so sorry P’.”

Sitting at the edge of the bed, Mew searched Gulf’s eyes, looking for an answer that only their souls will recognize. The answer found Mew asked softly, “may I?”.

Gulf spread his arms, and Mew gathered him into his arms, burying his head into the crook of his neck even as Gulf mirrored his action. 

They've made their way home to each other. Finally.

Until their moment was broken apart by a gasp. 

“Gulf?” 

Mild and the boys stood at the doorway, question and hope were clear on their faces.

“Oops.”

“Hi.” 

The boys greeted the others sheepishly. 

Gulf waved. “Hey Saint, hey Tul, nice to finally meet you.”

Loud squeals erupted and the boys crowded into the room after being shushed by the hospital staff. 

They restrained themselves from enveloping Gulf into a bear hug, but Tul sat on the other side of the bed. “Hey G… So… Everything?” he asked. 

Max was standing behind Tul and immediately ruffled his boyfriend’s head. “Hi G, I'm Max, nice to meet you, and also, proper sentences please, Tul.” he admonished.

Gulf shook his head to indicate that it was fine, he understood. 

Smiling broadly, he replied. 

“Everything.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so sorry I have been away for so long!! Work has been… incredibly hectic… I finally managed to have some time for myself this week, and to thank all of you for your patience in waiting for this story to end, here are the next 5 chapters at one shot! And after that 1 last chapter before I end this roller coaster of a journey!! I miss our boys and everyone so so so much!! I’m fighting to clear my schedule so that I can come back to social media soon, and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone online again!

“Wait-” Mew started, shooting a look at Max who just nodded his head in response.

“Eh, what’s going on guys?” Mild was clueless, and though Saint and Zee have not been filled in yet, they knew that they’d get answers soon. Also, when they were on their way to the room, Max had been continuously messaging someone on his phone, and if Tul was with them as well, it must be work-related. Or MewGulf related if this strange atmosphere was any indication. 

Turning around and locking the door behind him, Max shot a message on his phone before turning back to the group. 

“Ok, the coast is all clear for now. So, first things first, welcome back Gulf.”

\---

Earlier on…

A figure returned to his desk after a short break. Sliding behind the monitor, the harsh glare of the computer screen shone even brighter in the semi-darkness, hurt his eyes. The sound of voices emitting from his speakers caught his attention. It seemed like Mr. Kanawut was awake and lucid. 

“...shouldn’t have brought you down to the garden, it was probably too much for your system and when you fainted-” Mr. Suppasit was saying.

“Hey.. hey, I’m fine. I’m sorry I gave you a fright. So, I passed out huh, did I hit my head again?”

“Not funny G, but thank god you didn’t hit your head. I managed to catch you-” 

The static broke over the speakers and the images on the screen blurred out for a second. Before the person could react, static erupted all over his equipment and he was sitting blind in the sudden darkness. 

A sudden realization dawned on him and he pulled out his mobile phone, hitting the last dialed number.

“Hey, my feed just got cut-”

“So? Fix it, why are you calling me?”

“-I’m calling you precisely because my feed was cut. It’s not a normal technical distortion. I think someone is onto us,”

The other person on the line swore colorfully. “We need to speed this up, but we need Mr. Kanawut back on the project so he can finish the coding. Keep it low for now and monitor the situation.”

“Yes, Mr.Kim.”

\---

“So you’re saying that you already figured out someone was checking up on you the day you got back to BKK?” Gulf whistled in appreciation, “that’s fast work. I’m impressed.”

“Thanks,” Max grinned, filled with pride. “Appreciate the acknowledgment. Now the thing is, all of this is moving fast, you want to fill us in on what’s happening so that we can help? I mean, taking into consideration that you barely know us, I’m just putting it out there that we have your back, seeing that you’re Mew’s boy.”

The boys noted with mirth when both Gulf and Mew blushed to the tips of their ears. “I’m not-” “ He’s not-” They both spoke up at the same time. 

“C’mon guys, anyone with eyes can-” Tul was about to start when Max put a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Baby, let them settle this on their own. I think they barely have time to sort things out since G just regained his memories as well. Speaking of which, I’m impressed at how well you are taking it all in.” 

“Well, apparently someone told me that I have a very high IQ in a way like my brain can process things at very fast speeds, which is why I’m very good with IT and programming stuff. Which brings me to the matter on hand. Firstly,” Gulf turned to face Mew. “I’m really not engaged. I never proposed to Byeol, and I will talk about this more in detail. Secondly, there is something that I am helping to work on, and someone has been trying to get their hands on my code, which is why I-”

A beeping tone suddenly emitted from Max’s pocket. “Sorry to interrupt Gulf, let’s shelve this conversation for later, your self-titled fiancee is coming up. Interesting timing at that too. We have 3 minutes, ok are going to talk about Mild’s upcoming projects and fill you in on what your friend’s been up to.” Max warned, then inclined his head towards Mild who started listing off updates on his life. 

Holding a bouquet of flowers, Byeol stepped out of the lift, mind whirring with thoughts on how to convince Gulf that they were engaged, hoping that the people who came to visit him had already left.   
If wishes were horses… Hearing Gulf’s voice which she adored so much, she knew that they were still there, or at least the other guy, Mew, who just popped out of nowhere. Feeling annoyance bubbling up within her at the thought of him, she took a deep breath before pushing open the door, her practiced smile slipping effortlessly onto her face. “- since you are good at that, why don’t you use your influence to help increase your family’s reach?” Gulf was saying.

Silence followed Gulf’s question as seven pairs of eyes turned to look at the latest visitor.

A small smile lifted Gulf’s lips, not reaching his eyes. He lifted a hand and waved, “hi Byeol.”, the rest of the boys followed suit. 

That now-familiar annoyance bubbled to the surface again, she felt the front of her face tingling and a low flush spreading under her skin, as she noted how closely Mew and Gulf seemed to be sitting together on the bed. 

“Hey guys, how’s everyone?” Turning around as a chorus of ‘good’s sounded in the room, she walked to the adjoining ensuite to look for a vase to place the flowers in to compose herself. 

“Hey Gulf, get well soon yeah, I think we should make a move first.” She heard one of the boys say. Returning to the room, she feigned disappointment that the boys were leaving and when every last one of them left, she flounced to Gulf’s side, feeling her mood lifting as she prepared to charm herself to him.

“Byeol, I think we need to talk.” Gulf opened. 

A feeling of foreboding rose within her. “Ok sure, something weighing on your mind?”

“Our engagement, or lack of.”

“Really? Why do you keep insisting that we are not engaged? Why can’t you remember?”

“No, Byeol. It is precisely that I can remember now, that I know that we are not engaged. So let’s talk about what you, or more specifically, your father, is trying to achieve.”

Her heart skipped a beat. Hoping that her calm facade held, she continued to deny. “What do you mean? Our dads talked about it and approved the engagement-”

“Stop Byeol, your father is pushing a childhood engagement that no longer holds, we are both adults now and can make our own decisions. My dad has also explicitly said so and he only said that he will try to speak to me, but he is still leaving the final decision up to me, and I have said no. I even went to speak to you about this, and I left after we got into an argument about this whole engagement thing and this is what happened right before I got into an accident.”

Her mind whirled as she tried to determine how much he knew. Cursing her father in her heart for putting her in this position, Byeol was about to continue denying when Gulf asked quietly.

"Also, you barely know me, why do you want to get married to me so badly? If it is about the money, your family is about as well-to-do as mine. If it's about connections I'd say the same, well your family is probably more well connected than ours on a global scale. So, Byeol, tell me, why are you hanging on to an engagement and marriage to a stranger? What are you running away from?"

His gaze was unwavering and direct.


	31. Chapter 31

She swallowed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Steeling her nerves before looking him in the eye, she replied a little too loud, a little too carefree, “nothing! I just want to have a family and be happy, you know?”

Gulf maintained his silence, leaning back casually, he crossed his arms across his chest. 

Biting her lip, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Oh! Didn’t realize the time, I’ve got to go, I’ll come and see you tomorrow ok?”

“Hmm-mm,” Gulf hummed. The moment she stepped out the door, he sent a text.

_She’s on the move. Do a run on her relationships. All of them._

\---

Stepping out of the hospital, she pulled out her mobile, unaware of the eyes on her. 

The line connected on the first ring.

“Dad. He knows something’s not right… No… I don’t want… B-but... Ok. Fine.“ Stress and exasperation resounded in her voice and vibrated through her body. She wanted to hit something. To just scream and shout. But… She couldn’t. She knows all of this… Madness… was not going to end well. But for her… she had to go through with this. She has to finish it. 

\---

_Check completed. Something's amiss. Your hunch might be right._

The message shone glaringly on his screen. 

Now that the players are moving into position, Gulf knew that he had to force his hand.   
The question was how?

Turning on his laptop that his sister had brought over for him earlier, Gulf weaved his way around all the encryptions he’d put in place. Mulling over his next move, he pulled up the coding for the game. With a few taps, he completed the final coding sequence and covered his tracks. His presence was ghost-like, undetected, and unseen to the naked eye. He returned to the game’s previous progression and raised the completion rate to 95% with a few hidden bugs that would stay hidden until the final pieces were in place. 

Behind another screen, a notification beeped indicating that changes to the game were made.   
System update:   
_Coding progress… 70%... 80%... 90%.... 91%… 92%… 93%… 94%… 95%..._ … 95%.

The progression halted. Picking up the phone, the figure contacted his boss. “Mr. Kim, Mr. Kanawut has made changes to the game and he’s 5% to completion now. Seems like he's indeed all caught up with his memories.” 

The voice on the other side of the line instructed, “good. Are you ready to pull the rug from under their feet?”

“Yes, sir. Born ready.”

“Good. Keep me posted.”

\---

Back in the room, Gulf sat by the window, he had sent P’Mew a message a few minutes ago and was anxiously rubbing his chest. He knew he had to make the choice for both their sakes. There was no other way around it. 

The weight of the decision settled heavily in his bones. Information and calculations swirled around in his head. Lost in thought he didn’t hear the door of his room open, didn’t hear the footsteps coming up to him, but he heard the softly uttered, “G?”.

Turning, he saw the man who dominated his thoughts, standing right there, so close that he could just reach out and…

“Oomp”. Mew expelled the air he was holding in his lungs, as a warm weight settled across his chest, arms coming around and wrapping themselves around him. 

“You came.”

“Of course. Always.”

“But… that was so fast.. How?”

“I was out for drinks with the boys when you texted. We were not too far from here… Is everything alright, G?”

“Yeah… I guess… Well, the doctors said that I can go home tomorrow, all my vitals are good.”

“Well, you don’t seem too happy about it, want to talk about it?” Mew stroked his hand down the back off Gulf’s head, revealing in the feeling of being able to touch him, of having him awake and fine and intact.

“Yeah… I need to talk to you about something important actually…” 

\---

Mew left the hospital in a daze. Unable to comprehend what just happened. His mind was in a haze. How did they get to this point? Why can't anything be normal between them? 

Dimly, he recalled calling someone.. one of his boys... and they'd rushed over to get him.   
Tul and Saint wanted to rush in to beat Gulf up into a pulp but were held back by their boyfriends.

Shouting for Mild to help, Max yanked his boyfriend back to him. “Stop! Going in with violence is not going to solve anything.”

“No! What is WRONG with him?! How could he-”

“We don’t know Gulf enough, Tul. We don’t know him, and everything that’s happened is already out of the norm. Now please. Mew doesn’t need this right now-”

“- yeah guys, please. I just want to go home.” Mew was on the verge of breaking down. He felt like his whole world was crashing, just like the day that Gulf disappeared from his life. “Please.” Seeing him crumble, his friends rushed to him. 

Max held Mild back as the rest of the boys crowded around Mew to support him. 

“I don’t know what your friend is up to, and don’t worry I won’t hurt him, yet. But I AM going to get to the bottom of this.”

Eyes wide with confusion and panic, Mild nodded. “I trust that you won’t hurt my friend, but this is not like him, I can vouch for him.”

“It’s not up to you to vouch for him or not, and this is a shit spot for you to be in, I am aware and I understand. So I am not expecting you to do or say anything. I’m going to collect my equipment. Take care of Mew and Tul for me for a moment.”

Without waiting for Mild to reply, Max turned and entered the hospital. Hearing Tul call after him, followed by Mild telling Tul that he was just going to pack up his equipment. 

Cold anger burned in his veins. But the moment he entered the room, ready to interrogate Gulf, he saw Gulf curled up in the corner, curled upon himself, and gasping for breath through his tears. 

“- What the h-” This was far from what he was expecting.   
“Gulf what- Get up, c’mon.”

“Aren’t you here to hit me? C’mon, do it!” Gulf rasped, he rubbed his face with his hands, trying to rub the never-ending flow of tears away. “What are you waiting for? Hit me!” 

Putting his hands up, Max sighed heavily. “I’m not going to hit you, especially not in this state. Can you talk to me Gulf? What’s going on? What’s really going on? If Mew means so much to you and the only way you can protect him is by hurting him, tell me what is going on at least. I swear no one will know what you can share with me.” 

“... Can I though?.... Trust you?... Everything’s going to shit and I don’t even know who I can trust anymore. Heck, I barely know you. How could I ever trust you?” Gulf was a mess. Bloodshot eyes, hair sticking out in every direction….

“Fair point. Don’t go into the details, but give me the big picture.”

“Why do you trust me? What makes you think that there is a bigger reason behind this?”

“I can see how you two are when he is in the room with you, you were made for each other, and right now, obviously I can see how much it is costing you to make the decision that you did, even though I don’t know the full story, yes I still want to punch you, but I trust my eyes, and my gut. I didn’t spend all these years as a P.I. without learning to trust my gut. So. Spill.”

\---

When Max left the building, the boys were already piled in the car, the ambiance heavy and solemn. 

“You’re back,” Tul said dully, all the fight drained out of him.

“I am.” 

“Did you punch him?”

“I did.”

That roused a reaction from everyone including Mew, who up until that point had been lifelessly staring out the window.

“Max! How could you?! You don’t even know the full story!” Mew yelled as he turned and glared at Max, fighting to release himself from the seatbelt. 

“I don’t need to know the full story! He deserved it for hurting you!” 

“It doesn’t matter, you still didn’t have the right to hit him!” Mew gave up fighting with the seatbelt and leaned his head dejectedly against the headrest.

“Don’t you dare defend him! And we need to just get out of here now... Wait… Where’s Mild?” 

This time Saint replied dully, “he hopped out of the car the moment he saw you exit the building. Let’s just go already ok, I don’t want us to be here longer than what’s necessary.”


	32. Chapter 32

**2 Weeks Later.**

**Suvarnabhumi International Airport**

“Mew… You know that if you need anything just let us know ok? We understand that you need some time for now, but please just know that we are here for you no matter what, son.” His mom gave him a hug and his family curled around him as they smothered him in their love for a few more minutes. 

“I’m just going to check out the school in New York, and don’t worry, I’ll be home soon ok? Just need some time for myself now as well, thanks again for taking care of Chopper.” 

“You never have to thank us for that, and if dad has his way, Chopper will be living with us all the time.” His mom admonished him while his dad just smiled sheepishly. 

“Ok, you need to go soon bro, go say bye to your friends and remember to text us when you land!” His sister chirped in. Mew was so thankful that his friends and family were all so understanding and that no one kicked up a fuss when he announced his decision to pursue his PhD in New York. 

As his boys crowded around Mew, across town, Gulf made the final moves to settle the score once and for all. 

\---

“Gulf… Son… You don’t have to do it this way. There must be another way.” 

“Dad, it’s fine, trust that everything will work out alright?” Gulf smiled, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore. He knew he was doing the right thing, but doing the right thing sure did feel like he dug his heart out and stomped on it himself. It hurt. But he knew he would do anything to keep his family and to keep Mew safe. 

“I’m sorry son, this turned out to be a bigger mess than we initially thought it would be.” Guilt and worry were etched on his father’s face.

“Not your fault dad. I’m going ahead with the wedding and you won’t be able to change my mind, everything will come out in the wash soon enough, and I can’t tell you more than that-”

“-for the safety of the family. Yes, I understand son. But nonetheless, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” 

Leaning in, Gulf wrapped his arms around his father. “Although there is nothing to forgive, I am going to say, yes I forgive you, and I love you. Thank you for trusting me. Now let’s confirm the wedding with the Kims, and let’s release the game to the world.” 

“Go big or go home, right son?” 

“Go big or go home, dad. Let’s do this.”

\---

**2 Days Later.**

“Hey Mild,” Mew said, pulling his lips together in what he hoped passes off as a grin.

“Mew. Are you ok?” Mild’s concerned face popped up on the screen before getting shoved away by the rest of the boys who were saying hi and asking a dozen questions at the same time. 

“Settle down, all good.” Mew laughed, but even his laughter sounded strained to his ears. The boys quietened but they too knew that Mew was under so much strain. 

“Do you want to talk about it? Although we totally understand if it is too soon for you to talk about it.” Tul asked, but quickly backpedaled when Max tugged on his ear.

“Thanks for your concern but I really am ok. I mean, yeah I saw the news today that G… Gulf is getting married at the end of the month, and that their company will be releasing the world’s first fully immersive virtual reality game the day before the wedding as well, which I am happy for him, I really am, but hey this is life yeah? Things just didn’t work out for us, at least I had the chance to have him in my life. Ah, guys sorry, would love to chat, really, but I have guests coming up anytime now, so I have to go prepare, I’ll talk to you soon ok! See you!” Without waiting for the boys to say more than ‘okays’ Mew hung up the phone and flipped onto his belly where he lay on the bed. 

“Fuck.”

\---

**Press Conference on the Day of Launch.**

The hall was filled to the brim with reporters, and after the demonstration of the game by celebrity endorsers, Mr. Kanawut sat at the table and started the conference with Gulf by his side. 

The first question that was shouted out went straight for the throat.

“We heard that Gulf Kanawut was the main brains behind the game development, is it true or did he get the credit simply because he is a Kanawut?”

Mr. Kanawut’s ears turned a bright red even as his expression remained impassive. Just as he was about to reply, Gulf laid a hand over his dad’s hand, taking over the response. “Thank you for thinking that I single-handedly created the game, and although i do not know where you got this information, I’d like to say that the credit goes entirely to my team who have worked tirelessly day and night for the past few years to develop this idea from scratch and to create the masterpiece that it is today….”  
By the time the press conference was over, Gulf was exhausted but he had made his position clear and now that the flawless version of the game was released to the public, it was time to weed out the traitors in the company. 

His smartwatch beeped twice, looking at the alert that popped up on the screen, his eyes that showed exhaustion just a minute ago now shone with a sharp ruthlessness. 

“Hey dad I need to head back to the company first, I left some documents there, why don’t you head on home first, and I’ll see you back there for dinner?”

“Sure, son. You handled the conference well earlier, proud of you. Be safe and see you at home soon okay?”

“Thanks, Dad, see you.”

\---

At the press conference the main development team was present, everyone was accounted for except for the team leader of the division. P’Llhong. He’d informed them that he had food poisoning and was unable to make it to the press conference. 

However, Gulf’s guess turned out to be right. 

He’d received two alerts, one informing him that P’Llhong was indeed at _CompanyK_ headquarters, and the other alert showed that the game codes were duplicated from the server a few minutes ago.

He would have said that the team leader was smart, he covered his tracks well, but Gulf was a better hacker and programmer than his team by a long mile, he had all the firewalls in place, invisible traps and no one would know that the traps have been triggered, except for him. 

He quick-dialed a number. “He’s in place, go. Now. I’m on my way.” 

Cursing Bangkok traffic, Gulf arrived at the entrance of the building just as the team leader, or rather, _former_ team leader was being escorted to the police car, hands in cuffs behind his back. Spotting Gulf, his face twisted in hatred and anger and fear. 

“How- You know.” The expressions that flitted across his face finally ended in resignation. “How?”

“P’Llhong. I know you’re good at what you do, don’t concern yourself with the details, but just note that no matter how good one becomes, there will always be someone who knows more.”

Nodding his head to the police, Gulf was about to turn away when Llhong lashed out, “you’ll pay for this Gulf, you have no idea how over your head you are! You’ll pay!”  
“I already paid a price for it. Oh, and Llhong, I wouldn’t count on Mr. Kim bailing you out of jail. You’ve already sent him the codes, so you’re going to be his perfect scapegoat.” 

Gulf watched as color drained from Llhong’s face. “You didn’t really think about that did you? Did you think Mr. Kim would offer you a job after you betrayed your own company? And how I knew about Mr. Kim? Well, you don’t have to worry about that either.”

With that, Gulf turned and walked away. Not looking back even once. 

\---

**Wedding Day**

“Son, I’m not going to ask about what happened yesterday, I feel like you’re all too aware of what is going down, but I am going to ask you one last time. Are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yes dad, now, quit worrying, it’s all going well.” Just as Gulf gave his dad a hug, he whispered, “also, if anything goes wrong, take care of mom and sis, will you.” 

“Wait, Gulf, what do you-”

The door to the room opened. His colleagues were there waiting for him with huge smiles over their faces, but the tension in their body betrayed their nervousness. 

Gulf was disappointed that Mild was not here to see the grand finale, but he understood Mild’s position.

\---

_Throwback to the Hospital_

“Gulf! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! How could you?!” Mild snarled as he burst into the room, but seeing that the bed was empty, he turned just as the toilet door slid open. 

Gulf’s wrecked look and empty eyes threw Mild’s anger off immediately. 

“Oh shit, dude. What’s going on, really? You look like shit. Was he the one who dumped you instead? That little sh-”

“No- your filter is gone again Mild, but thanks. I feel like shit. And the answer is no, I ended the relationship/”

“Ok, so what is going on Gulf, this is not like you. I could tell that you really love Mew, and I know you fully recognize him. So what is this bull about you getting married and breaking it off with him?! Everything is happening so fast and no one understands what the hell is happening. Like, seriously dude, get your shit together.”

“There’s no other way Mild. Look, I get it, I get why you are pissed off at me and everything, but to be honest I rather Mew be alive and mad, than dead and just.. dead... ok.”

“Hold up, too much of a jump. What’s going on, talk to me man. Tell me straight up, and go back to the beginning.”

\---

“Hey Gulf, earth to Gulf. All good, man?” P’Tee asked.

P’Tong came to his side and gave him a strong pat on the back. “Almost there man, you’ve got this.” That stirred up a chorus of encouragement and support, and Gulf appreciated it even more as his colleagues didn’t even know what was happening and what was going down, well apart from P’Tong but even then his information was not up to date. Gulf couldn’t trust anyone at this point, everything was tethering on a crucial edge right now.

“Yeah, all good, maybe slight cold feet. But… Let’s go.”


	33. Chapter 33

The final chess piece moved into place just as Gulf was about to recite his vows.

Notifications started flooding in causing his watch to constantly send vibrations up his arm. 

“I, Gulf Kanawut, do….” he paused, staring straight at Byeol, he held her hand and then turning, checked to see that one of the key players was with his family before continuing, “ _not_ take you as my wife.” 

The church resounded in loud gasps and murmurs of surprise.

Byeol’s hand jumped in surprise, and both relief and fear was reflected in her gaze. Instinctively, she looked at her father who seemed to be glued to his seat, his face slowly turning a dark red in shock and anger. 

“I repeat, I, Gulf Kanawut, do not take you, Byeol Kim, to be my wife.” Gulf said it again, loud and clear, turning his body to face the audience. A low roar of anger finally erupted from Mr. Kim who stood up and launched himself at Gulf. but was pushed away by P’Tong, P’Tee, and the rest of Gulf’s crew. 

“You! You bastard! How dare you humiliate us like this!” 

“Dad!” Byeol cried out but made no move to go to her father.

“You! You lousy excuse as a daughter, all of this is your fault. Now I will never let your mother go!” Eyes searching wildly for his wife, he finally spotted her cowering behind the Kanawuts, turning he tried to push his way past the wall of bodies that was obstructing him from his moving an inch, he suddenly remembered that he had his bodyguards by the aisle with him, but where were they when he was assaulted by these hooligans?!

“Arrrggghhh!!!” he shouted as he fought against the hands that were holding him in place. “Guards! Guards!” 

“Mr.Kim.” Gulf’s calm voice, filled with authority cut through the chaos that was erupting all around. Everyone quieted down to see what would unfold next. “Mr. Kim,” he repeated. “You are making a fool and a spectacle out of yourself. Please calm down and let me explain to you what is going on and what will happen next.”

\---

**Suvarnabhumi International Airport**

The heat and humidity washed over Mew as he stepped out of the airport. 

‘I’m such a fool for even coming back. What do you think will happen huh? You’ll probably not make it for the wedding. What did you think you could accomplish?’ The thoughts spun around and around in his head. Glancing at his watch, he remembered Mild’s message to him.

_Saturday, 11am. That will be the time of the wedding ceremony, fight for this Mew, for the both of you. I am sending you the location. Be there._

Flagging the first cab he saw, Mew gave the address of the church to the driver, and as the car sped down the highway, for the first time in a long time, Mew started praying.

\---

**Church**

“... you will not lay your hands on either your wife or your daughter ever again, and you are not getting your claws into our company.”

“Y-you! How DARE you, who gave you the RIGHT to decide anything?! What makes you think you can even keep me away from my fam-”

His ranting was drowned out by sirens and the slamming open of church doors and shouts from the law enforcement officers. 

“POLICE!”   
“INTERPOL!”  
“Where is Mr. RIchard Kim?” The crowd moved to the sides of the church to get out of the way of the drama that was unfolding.   
P’Tong shouted and pushed Mr. Kim by his neck, the older man’s arms were still held down by the guys.   
“Here he is, take this scumbag.” 

“W-what is going on, you have no right!!” He had heard someone shout Interpol and now he was starting to get worried. How did they find out about him and what do they want with him?

An agent all suited in black, stepped up to him even as he waved his colleague down.

“Mr. Richard Kim, we have a warrant for your arrest, for conspiring against your country, espionage, and inciting a possible international power conflict between the U.S.A, Russia, Germany, and North Korea. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”

Cuffs were snapped on his wrist and Mr. Kim was escorted out of the venue.

The whispers and murmurs started again, and Byeol’s shock finally wore off. “Mom!” She turned and ran to her mother, the Kanawuts breaking their protective circle around Mrs. Kim to let the two ladies reunite. “Does this mean that we’re free now? We won’t be under his control anymore?!”

Crying and laughing at the same time, mother and daughter were finally free. 

Outside the church, a taxi pulled up the steps to a scene of chaos. Police cars were scattered around the driveway and a man was being led out in cuffs. Without giving the man a second look, the only thought running through Mew’s mind then was, is Gulf ok? Is he safe?

Bursting into the church, Mew pushed past crowds of people, sounds of crying could be heard in the background. Making his way to the front, he finally saw his Gulf standing right in front of the altar, speaking to two men in black suits, appearing as if he was giving a statement. His perfect face devoid of any emotion was like the calm in the center of the storm. 

At that moment, he didn’t care about anything else, all that mattered was that Gulf was alive and well, and hopefully unmarried, but even if he was… well he had to learn how to just be friends again. 

“Gulf.”

Friends and family who were standing close enough to hear Mew call out Gulf’s name, stopped in their tracks, and turned to watch the scene unfold. Guests that were further back felt a shift in the mood and slowly the whispers and the murmurs quietened down again. It felt like the world was holding her breath as the two souls met at the right time, and the right place. 

“P-P’Mew.” Gulf replied breathlessly. “P’Mew. What are you doing here?”   
Even the agents who were taking Gulf’s statement stepped back, feeling like they were intruding on a very important moment.

“I… I couldn’t stay away, I was coming back to fight for you, to shout, scream, beg, anything… To see if there could ever be a chance for me to make the most selfish decision of my life, and to steal you back. Never against your will though, never. But I had to try. Even though I might be too late.” Mew’s beautiful eyes were wide with fear, hope, love.

“I can’t believe… But why? I hurt you, I chased you away, and you were supposed to be in New York!” Gulf lips were bitten red, his arms trembling with the effort to hold himself back and not just fling himself into Mew’s arms. 

“I- I love you G. You absolute moron. Yes, I was hurt, and yes I was in New York. I just arrived…” looking at his watch. “Two hours ago, was held up by traffic a little, so I’m sorry if I’m late- oomph.” 

All of a sudden he had an armful of Gulf and it was the best feeling in the world. It felt like all the empty spaces were filled with Gulf who was made especially for him, the fit was perfect every nook and crevice molding themselves together. 

“Sooo… I take it you are still single and available then?” Mew said, and those around them finally let out the breath they had been holding as a laugh. 

“Single but not available. I love you, Mew. It’s always only you. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I hurt you, and I need to let you know why I did what I did.”

“Yeah, you better make it good for all the shit you put us through.” More laughter sounded out around them, turning to hoots and cheers as Gulf sealed their lips together in a kiss that was a little… too steamy… for the time and place.


	34. Chapter 34

Once everything was settled and everyone had scattered with the gossip, or rather gossips, of the century, Gulf’s family stayed behind to assure Gulf that they would take care and settle things for the Kim women. 

“I’m proud of you son, everything that you’ve planned, it could have fallen on either side of the coin, it was very risky, but you pulled it off. Have a good rest and settle your affairs, we’ve got some damage control to manage over the coming week, once news of this breaks out.”

“Thanks, dad, and thanks for trusting that I would be able to do the right thing.” Hugging tightly, Gulf promised that he would call them first thing in the morning after he settles everything with Mew. 

On the way back to Mew’s home - they both agreed that Mew’s place would be more conducive to talk - Mew and Gulf kept their hands locked together, which meant that Mew had to drive single-handedly. 

“P’Mew, did I tell you that seeing you handle the car so competently is turning me on?” Gulf said in a deep and heavy tone. 

They both watched as Mew’s grip on the steering wheel whitened with the effort to control his body’s involuntary reaction to Gulf’s words and his tone. 

“You didn’t. And who taught you to be so direct?” Mew rasped. 

“Oh? You did.” Now Gulf responded with a cheeky smile. Taking their clasped hands, Gulf brought their joint hands up to his lips and laid a kiss on it. Mew sped up. 

\---

Back in Mew’s place, Gulf had 3 seconds to look around in amazement before Mew closed the door behind them and wrapped his arms around Gulf’s waist. “Can we please talk later? I just really need you now.” 

Turning in Mew’s arms, Gulf merged their lips together, sliding his hands onto Mew’s shoulders and then mumbling against his lips, “catch”. He hoisted himself up, wrapping his legs around Mew’s waist. Mew immediately slid his hands beneath Gulf’s firm, round buttocks, revealing in the sensation and squeezing the firm globes together before pulling them apart. Groaning, both men began rubbing their bodies sensually against each other. 

“Please, bedroom, now.” Gulf rasped. His high cheekbones were flushed, big round eyes gleaming, hair mussed, lips bit red, he looked absolutely wrecked. 

Mew’s blood pressure rose and all he wanted to do at the moment was to completely devour Gulf. Carrying him to the kitchen counter to the left of the door, Mew placed Gulf on the surface and started running his hands along every available surface he could reach while he dipped his tongue into Gulf’s mouth, over and over again to feel and taste every single inch that was Gulf. His home. His happiness. His everything. 

Gulf was not passive by any means either, he eagerly responded and engaged in a dance of giving and taking. In his haste and excitement to take off Mew’s shirt, he almost ripped the buttons apart. Laughing breathlessly and loathes to part their saliva-coated lips that were almost bitten raw, yet felt so so good and delicious, Mew continued to rub their lips together as he took off his shirt, and fumbled with his own belt. Sliding his lips down to Gulf’s jaw and neck, Mew continued to nibble and kiss his way down Gulf’s exposed chest until he reached Gulf’s adorable pink nipples that were tight and hard with excitement. Pushing his pants down his legs, Mew kicked off his trousers and brought his body in contact with Gulf’s again. Both men groaning aloud at the feeling of sheer pleasure when their naked torsos came in contact with each other. 

Hoisting Gulf back up into his arms, Mew made his way to his bedroom. The curtains were still drawn and covered leaving the room in the cool darkness. Flipping the light switch on, Mew placed Gulf on his large bed, kneeled on the soft satin sheets as he leaned over Gulf’s firm body and placed kisses on his tummy as he worked Gulf’s pants off him. 

Removing his boxers at the same time Mew licked his lips in anticipation and appreciation as Gulf’s hard penis was released from the confines of the clothes. His dick was a little curved, and it bounced up to his tummy in its hardness. Gulf’s breath was let out in a hiss when Mew finally placed a gentle finger on the tip of the wet head where a drop of precum had formed, rubbing the pad of his finger in the opening right at the tip, Mew pulled his finger downwards and slowly wrapped his hand around Gulf’s hard length, feeling the satiny texture, weight, and girth as he started stroking Gulf slowly but firmly. 

At the same time, with his other free hand, Mew pulled his own boxers from his body, releasing his own hard length. Half crawling atop Gulf, Mew lowered his pelvis and aligned his hard length beside Gulf, using Gulf’s wetness to coat himself and using his hand to stroke the both of them at the same time. 

The prolonged wait and the stimulation were almost too much in its intensity, and tears were forming at the corners of Gulf’s eyes. Mew leaned up and kissed the sides of Gulf’s eyes, taking the dampness away. 

“It’s ok G, cum for me.”

Molding their lips together again, Mew swallowed Gulf’s cries as Gulf released over his hand and coated the both of them in his release. Using the added wetness as lubrication, Mew continued to stroke both of them, increasing his intensity and the strength of his grip. Gulf who was coming down from his orgasm was overstimulated by Mew’s movements and he became hard again even as the stimulation was getting too much for him to bear. Just as he thought he was going to lose his mind, Mew finally exploded as well, coating both of them with more cum. Bringing his hand up with both their fluids coating it, Mew looked Gulf straight in the eye as he brought his fingers up to their lips. 

Gulf opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Tasting a drop from Mew’s finger. Pressing his finger onto Gulf’s tongue and feeling around the warm cavern, Mew then leaned down swept his tongue into the Gulf’s mouth as well. The sound of kissing and sucking echoing lewdly around the room as they tasted each other and their essence from the fingers that Mew was feeding them with. 

Sliding the now clean hand, that was coated with their combined saliva, Mew trailed his hand down the length of Gulf’s body until it reached the spot between Gulf’s legs. Sliding his finger between Gulf’s butt cheeks, Mew rubbed Gulf’s entrance and pushed against the puckered hole slightly until the muscles gave way. 

“Just let me feel you for a while and then I will get the lube ok?” Gulf nodded, suddenly feeling shy. 

“This is your first time, I’ll go slow. Do you trust me?” Mew asked. Gulf nodded again, maintaining strong eye contact. 

“I trust you.” He said.

‘I love you.” Mew replied. 

Wriggling his finger around the tightness gripping his finger, Mew gave Gulf another kiss before pushing away and opening the drawer by his bedside. 

“I always use condoms-” Mew retrieved the lube and his packets of condoms.

“-Can we do it bare P’Mew? I want to feel you.”

“Are you sure nong? I mean, I am clean since my last check, but-”

“I’m sure… Well, if you’re ok with that.” Gulf affirmed his gaze unwavering but the blush on his cheeks revealed his shyness.

“Ok, I want you to tell me if anything we do is not ok for you, and I will stop immediately ok?” Mew maintained eye contact with Gulf, waiting for his nod before uncapping the lube and applying it on himself. 

Taking a generous portion, Mew warned Gulf that it would be cold, before slipping the lube between his cheeks and applying it on Gulf’s twitching opening. Spreading Gulf’s thighs further, Mew slid down and wedged his shoulders between Gulf’s spread thighs for leverage. Looking directly at the puckered pink hole.

Covering his face, Gulf choked out,”P’Mew c-can you not look so directly? It’s embarrassing.” 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you’re beautiful Gulf.” Saying that Mew pressed the pad of finger against Gulf’s entrance, and watching as his finger slipped in easily now, like Gulf’s body recognized the feel of his finger and was eagerly accepting him. Feeling the flesh give as he pressed his finger deeper, Mew looked up at Gulf when he turned his palm to face up, his finger brushing the slightly rough/raised part in Gulf that made him almost jump off the bed in pleasure. Mouth in an open ‘o’ Gulf breathed shallowly but requested, “can you do that again please?” 

Now, Mew smirked and rubbed against Gulf’s prostate. Slowly sliding a second finger alongside the first while rubbing and pressing again his prostate. Gulf’s legs were splayed wide against the bed now, his hips rising and undulating as moans spilled out of his mouth like a litany. His cock was standing erect and leaking pre-cum constantly. 

“P’Mew, I can’t it’s too much but I want more, please.”

Mew started rubbing his fingers rhythmically increasing pressure on Gulf’s prostate before carefully adding the third finger in, he could see that it was a tight stretch for Gulf, but soon the entrance loosened a little and accepted the new intrusion. The moment all three fingers were against Gulf’s sensitive area, Mew vibrated them quickly and that was the last push Gulf needed to tilt him over the edge. In the midst of his orgasm, Mew lined up his hard length against Gulf’s entrance and pushed gently, and that added stimulation pushed Gulf into a prolonged orgasm until the twitching and pulsing stopped. Exhausted, Gulf tried to move his body but found that he was impaled on Mew’s hard pulsing length. The sensation felt extremely foreign (as it was much larger than the three fingers), but it felt so deliciously good that he couldn’t help but wriggle on Mew’s dick.

“Gulf..” Mew’s voice was strained with the effort to stay still in Gulf’s amazing warmth. “If you do that I won’t be able to control myself.”

“C’mon Mew, I’m ready, move, please,” Gulf begged he reached up to pinch his own nipples even as he wriggled again.

“Damn it,” Mew cursed, reaching down to hug Gulf to him, Mew pulled out almost all the way before diving down, deeply, suddenly. Gulf shouted and wrapped his legs around Mew’s waist, the new position opened him up even further and Mew pistoned his hips again, directly rubbing against Gulf’s prostate. That released something deep within them and they started a brutal pace, each thrust pushing both of them towards the brink of madness until they exploded and became one with the universe.


	35. Finale

As the moonlight streamed through the high windows, Gulf lay across Mew’s chest, warm and sated in their love. They had spent the rest of the day entwined with each other.

“You know,” Mew began, “you could have warned me…. You…. You hurt me G… Deeply. Although now I do understand why you did what you had to. I mean, an international level of armed dealership between countries could have turned so badly on its head, and there was so much I did not understand, we- I, was so out of my depth.”

Snuffling, Gulf buried his head in the crook of Mew’s neck. “I’m so sorry I didn’t want to hurt you but I had to get you to leave, otherwise…”

“... otherwise they would have used me against you as a bargaining chip.” Mew finished. He reached his hand up to stroke Gulf’s hair. 

\---

**Flashback: In the Hospital**

“Well, you don’t seem too happy about it, want to talk about it?” Mew stroked his hand down the back off Gulf’s head.

“Yeah… I need to talk to you about something important actually…” Gulf rubbed the back of this neck trying to settle his nerves. Forcing himself to step away from the comfort of his home, Gulf started to pace a little. 

“G… You’re scaring me, what’s going on?” Mew’s eyes traced Gulf’s movement, knowing that he was pushed away for a reason, he didn’t try to reach out again, preferring to give Gulf his space. 

“Look- I don’t know how else to put this.. But I can’t- I can’t do this with you anymore. We need to end this relationship.”

Watching the way the blood left Mew’s face made him feel like he was the worse person on earth. But there… there was no other way. 

“Is this about your engagement...? If it’s what you really-” Mew cut his sentence off, unable to finish it. It felt like there was no oxygen left in the room.

“Yes and no… Look I- There is no future for us alright? It’s for the sake of my family, and besides… I want a family, and if we are together… There’s no way we can have a normal family.” It was killing him to say all this, but he had to ensure that Mew leaves. “...and I don’t want to be the one to hinder your future-”

“-Don’t make this about me Gulf. Don’t try and turn this around. My future? My future is WITH you.”

“You want to finish your PhD, and being with me… I’m just holding you back.”

“It’s not, and we both know it.”

“Mew, don’t make it harder than it is. I don’t want you in my life.” Gulf felt like he had run a 10km marathon, his legs were weak, every breath felt like fire burning in his lungs, and he was so, so tired. 

The silence stretched on. No one moved. There was no sound in the room.

Mew felt like a train had rammed through his chest. Everything fell away.

“C-could you say that again. Look me in the eye and say that again.” The words barely left his mouth. This couldn’t be happening. 

Gulf looked up, straight into Mew’s eyes. Eyes that he may never ever see again in his life. He may never see them ever again, but these eyes… the windows to the soul that he loves so much - so much it hurts -... these eyes would still exist in this world if he does this now. Does it with resolution. Does it cleanly. 

“I don’t want you in my life.” 

Mew swayed back like his body received a heavy blow. Gulf reflexively took a step forward, hand reaching out to Mew before his brain could register his motions. Mew pushed his hand away, regaining his balance. 

“I- I’m fine. And I u-understand. I will never bother you again. I’m sorry.” 

Mew turned and left, stumbling a little like he had lost his sense of equilibrium. 

The room shrunk around the Gulf. A low ringing started in his ear. His body felt cold and numb and maybe that will be better than feeling the pain that he knew would come. Dimly, he remembered the control in his pocket. Clicking the device, he terminated the connection of the equipment in the room that he knew would transmit the scene that took just happened, to the person he was waiting to catch. He had to end it all. Soon. 

Sucking in a deep breath, that motion in itself seemed to unleash all the pain stored in his body. Crumbling to the ground, he crawled to the corner of the room and curled up like a wounded animal. Just a little bit more, he told himself. Just a bit more and then perhaps he could just… disappear. 

\---

“I- I’m so sorry.” Gulf croaked out, the tightness strangling his chest and throat. The pain was his ghost that would always haunt him. “I’m so sorry for hurting you that way. But I had to make you leave.”

“Baby... You could have told me… or trusted me…” Mew pulled Gulf harder into his arms, wanting to turn back the time so that he could protect his baby from everything he had suffered. 

“T-there was no t-time and there was no other way.” Gulf reiterated. 

“What do you mean, ‘no time’.” 

“I had to throw his scent off you to keep him as using you as bait, and to let him know that I was breaking up with you to go ahead with the engagement. So I deactivated the blocker in the room so that the feed would be transmitted to Mr. Kim immediately. It was a risk that he would still not have believed it, but it was a risk that paid off. And you did decide to leave in the end, I believe that decision saved you as well.”

“But you knew, didn’t you? That once you planted the idea of completing my Ph.D., that I would have used leaving the country as an excuse to get away from…. This entire nightmare.” Mew placed a kiss on Gulf’s soft hair, a teardrop escaping the corner of his eye.

“It was also a risk, I could only hope that it would be the route you chose, and then Mild told me your decision a week later and I knew I made the right decision.” Gulf closed his eyes, feeling too raw and exposed.

“Wait… Mild was still in contact with you about me? I thought that the boys decided that they would not butt in on the situation.” Mew pulled back slightly so that he could see Gulf’s side profile.

“Yeah… about that…Mild and Max were in on it.” Gulf’s voice was soft, so soft that Mew almost missed it.

“Wait… Mild AND Max, and you didn’t trust ME?!” Mew fingers tightened a fraction on Gulf’s shoulder but he forced himself to relax and hear what his lover had to say.

“No, wait. It was not like that.” Gulf rushed to explain, looking up pleadingly at Mew. “Let me explain.”

“Listening.”

“Max came up to collect his equipment, and to punch me, well… He did demand to know what was really going on, then I told him, and he still punched me for hurting you, which I fully deserved-”

“-I was mad at him for punching you,” Mew confessed.

“Wait- What? Why? I deserved it. I was the one who hurt YOU.” Gulf was so confused.

“Because I knew that there had to be a reason, but a reason which is not meant to be revealed yet, and also it’s between the two of us, no one else should have poked their noses it.”

“They are your friends Mew, and you know how protective they are of you. So now, hush. Let me finish the updates, and fill in the missing parts.”

“Ok fine,” Mew grumbled.

“So, Max felt like something wasn’t right, as the jump between how I was with you and the next moment just breaking up with you that way, made no sense. I didn’t even know if I could trust him, the whole thing could have ended before it even began, but my gut was telling me to trust him, and I might have even needed his help - which I did, and I will get to this shortly - so, I had already blocked the feed again and I told Max my plan. He agreed with it and offered his help. But he still punched me because he said it was for you, and I totally agreed with that.”

“I’m just going to process all this first. I will speak my mind when your updates are done.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Gulf turned watery eyes to Mew. 

“I’m still here holding you, aren’t I?”

“You’re not answering my question. But ok, so Mild, he came up after Max, I swear I think he would have beaten me into a pulp but I was still a mess, and now had a bruise blooming on my face I was sure, and Mild just asked me straight up what was going on. So I told him all about my hunch and the work that I was doing, and the dangers it posed and Mild being Mild, just sat there took it all in, and simply asked what he could do. So I told him to keep an eye on you, and make sure you were fine.”

“Mmm.”

“Ok you’re mad, I know, but let me finish then you can get started on me ok? So... Max. He helped me so much, to gather intel on the countries that Mr. Kim was pitching the product to, and he was the one who helped get his men to knock out Mr. Kim’s guards at the church, amongst some other detective work. But it was hard on him too as he had kept it from everyone, even Tul.”

“Yeah Max hid it well apparently. So…”

“So, yeah I’m done. Have at it now.”

“So… I’m mad at you. Mad that you risked your life all over again, I mean, I could have lost you for good this time. Mad that you carried all this on your shoulders and didn’t ask me for my opinion or my help,” holding up his hand when he saw that Gulf was about to interject,” yes yes I know you were fearing from my safety. But so much could have gone wrong-”

“But it didn’t. Why did you come back?” 

“I guess I knew deep down that something wasn’t right, and it was between my pride and losing you. I couldn’t lose you, so my pride had to go, and Mild gave me a kick in the butt as well which woke me up and I came back. But I thought I was not going to make it, that I was going to lose you before I could even try to fight for you.”

“Thank you for coming back.” Gulf linked their fingers together and brought their hands to his lips. “and I’m sorry, I won’t do this again.” he apologized, “but, what about your PhD? I think it’s best that you finish it, and I meant what I said, I don’t want to hinder you.”

“I don’t know about that yet…”

“How long will the course be if you pursue it?”

“One year…. In New York.”

“Okay, can I give you my opinion?”

“I think I already know what you are going to say. But, have at it.”

Turning in Mew’s arms, Gulf leaned his head back and pressed a kiss on Mew’s lips. “Go for it. For you. Yes, it will be one year, and this one year I will also need to take over my father’s company and revamp so many things. Go, and then come back to me.”

Searching deeply in Gulf’s warm eyes, Mew felt torn. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

“Physically yes, but we will be in touch all the time, and I can fly up to see you or you could come back, plus it’s only a year and then we will build our empires and come back again. Well, that is if you would still want me then….”

“What are you going on about?! Of course, I’d still want you, I’d always want you. Ok, I will go and finish what I started, but you have to promise me something.”

“Ok, fair, what is it?”

“Let’s get married when I am back.”

“What? Is this your proposal?!”

“It is, I love you, and nothing is going to change how I feel about you. Will you marry me Gulf Kanawut?” Mew gently rolled them over until he hovered over Gulf. 

Gulf smiled mistily. “I will give you my answer when you come home and propose to me properly.”

“Ay, you minx!” Mew’s protests were cut off when Gulf pushed himself up and merged their lips together. Each lick, each nibble, every brush of their lips, felt like a promise to be together for their lifetime, and beyond.

\---

**Suvarnabhumi International Airport**

One year later...

23:59. The doors of the arrival gate opened. Mew stepped out, and Gulf was there waiting with Chopper and their friends and families. In his hand was a sign. 

_My answer is Yes. Welcome home hubby._

They’ve come a long way, and now they've found their way home to each other.   
And so their journey begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe I made it to the end!
> 
> The story went off with a life off it's own, and I hope you guys enjoyed it!!   
> Sorry again for the long wait, and I love you all to bits for coming back and reading the ending!
> 
> If the third part of the story felt like it was too fast -- it was meant to be a bit more dramatic and kinda action-ish, so hope i managed to capture that feeling.
> 
> Thanks for being a part of Mew and Gulf's story (at least in this alternate universe).
> 
> && To all my friends who commented and continued to spur me on during those difficult months, you've no idea how your words have helped me so much to complete my first ever chaptered fic. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> Talk to you soon!! Ciao bellas!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos or comments very much appreciated!  
> Come say hi to me _[@marylambb](https://twitter.com/marylambb)_ on twitter, also title and sub-titles (where applicable) are inspired by Harry Styles (100 points if you know which song I'm referring to :p)
> 
> Lastly! Some chapters will have a bit more world-building, and references to other literary works. I hope you guys enjoy the ride (and the songs along the way). Thank you for your support! <3


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